Anyone Like Me?

Hello,

I've been inconsistently doing the program for about a month with not much luck. Think the big problem might be the "inconsistent" part.

I just turned 41 and have been a heavy drinker since I was 15. When I turned 40, I vowed that I was going to make life different. Well....I just turned 41 and life is not different. I could try to fool myself, but I know this is because of drinking. I am tired of the impact it is having on my life.

I am TERRIFIED that my drinking is spiraling in super speed out of control. I am a single gal and I work for myself; ie: LOTS of opportunity to misbehave. I have gone from what many of you do....drinking to excess in the evenings....to drinking all day on my days off....to recently drinking while working.....WOW...:c :c :( ....the ugly truth. So far not any dire consequences, except that maybe my business could be not good but great.

Also, I live in a big, exciting city. However, I find myself home a lot because I am first getting a buzz to make whatever I want to go do more fun when I go do it, then feel as though I am too buzzed to go do it and don't go OR pass out. Insanity.

I keep making plans of not drinking, getting all of these things accomplished, etc...But next thing you know the craving gets the better of me.....Am I hopeless? I wish I had family responsibilities to help keep me on the straight and narrow. Or, a "normal" job to do the same. Or, even a significant other. Or, even family living in the city.

I feel so alone. Is there anyone out there in a similar situation?

LOL!

I'm not asking you guys for feedback if you like me! What I meant to ask is if there is anyone that can relate to my situation!

One of those times when you hit the send button and say "Oh no!"

Yep, I'm like you....
I'll bet pretty much everyone here has had the experience of drinking, then drinking more, missing small and large events due to drinking - having taking over more of life - days off (drunk by 10:30am), dtaying home to drink.
I am now in day 2, so far so good - I had a few urges yesterday, but was able to shift thinking. Long road ahead, I know, but at least we are starting.
Peggy

Need change,

I am EXACTLY like you. Exactly. I work at home so have plenty of opportunities to drink and I usually take them. I am always making promises to myself and not keeping them. My mistake has been to keep wine in the house which I realize I cannot do, so I am getting rid of what I have left and I am going to try and go three days this week without. I have a family and a kid and trust me it makes no difference in the drinking. I think it is a very bad habit that we have created and we need to replace the drinking with something else which is hard because I enjoy the buzz as I am sure you do. I will be 40 in October and I have made the same promise to myself about being able to cut back and not drink every day and I am hoping with this program I can do that. I have dabbled in the program but have not been consistent. You are right that consistency is the key and wanting to change, but when our brains are crying out for alcohol it sure is a challenge. Good luck. Keep posting on here........

Ok, I know what you're saying. I've been on/off the program for about 4 months.
Last week, I don't know what did it but it was like a switch was flicked in my head.
Kind of like what others have said when using the hypno CD's, but I haven't been able to get into them yet (just not working for me).
For the pastweek I've been on the program, not falling off the wagon. I'm not on Topa, but am on the upper end of the Kudzu dose (900-1200) a day. Am taking an Am and PM dose of the L-Glut. Also on the GABA, calms forte, milk thistle etc. Taking the All -one in am.
It seems to be doing the trick. I don't seem to be having much physical craving (plenty in my head though).
Am not expecting the end of the probs, but it is a damn site better this week.
I guess what I am trying to say is stick with.

Wish you all the best
GS

Dear Needchange,

I've only been in the program for a week but I do understand how you feel. I also feel that it's hard when you're alone. My husband and I run a biz where he's not home during the week and I'm running the office at home alone. It's hard when the evening comes around and it's like "what difference does it make"? There are no witnesses. Kind of like, if a tree falls in the forrest does it make a sound? I find that I'm more together when he's around and even when I drink I'm under SO much more control.

I agree with everyone in saying stick with it. I do think it's a good program. The all-one tastes like ass (sorry) but it makes me feel great. I'm hoping that the hypno will start working and that when I up my dose of topa this week I will have less cravings.

I'm so sorry that you feel so lonely and alone. Your posting was so honest and brave. I wish I had better advice to give you than "hang in there", but I that's I got- sorry. I guess we're all in the same boat after all.....

jlbb

Hi NeedChange,
I hear what you are saying about being alone and even alcoholics with family tend to isolate themselves as well. I too decided this year I had to change and found this site.
It has been such a life saver and makes so much sense! You do need to be consistent but everybody does tweak the program so it suits them better. I am on campral which definately helps with the cravings but not the head talk :\
Can you change your routine at all? Maybe have some sort of commitment of an afternoon that you have to be there and sober. I am sorry I don't think I am much help. Make us all your support! You can read many threads and pick out people that you relate to and ezibox them and start a friendship with them.
One thing I have realised is that I have to look around for other interests that don't involve alcohol and even more non drinking friends or at least people don't over indulge like most of mine do!
Keep in touch
Love Shas

Hi All!

Thanks SO much for all of your support. It's very comforting. Some good advice, too. For example, having commitments to stay sober for. I have a date tonight and haven't had a drink today because I don't want to show up already with a few under the belt (not that I haven't done that before )

What is this box thingy that you mention? I am not the most computer savvy person. I can't even figure out how to get the icons on the right over. Just happened by accident in my initial post. I used the old fashioned way and it was automatically replaced.

Hi All!

Thanks SO much for all of your support. It's very comforting. Some good advice, too. For example, having commitments to stay sober for. I have a date tonight and haven't had a drink today because I don't want to show up already with a few under the belt (not that I haven't done that before )

What is this box thingy that you mention? I am not the most computer savvy person. I can't even figure out how to get the icons on the right over. Just happened by accident in my initial post. I used the old fashioned way and it was automatically replaced.

NeedChange,
You need to be a registered user, it doesn't cost anything. Then when you click on somebodies name is goes to their profile. Most of them don't tell you too much but you look for send me a message then go from there!
Good Luck
Shas