Day 10

Well, here it is, Day 10. I am doing great - but have had some slips in the past couple of days. The won't get into why, because it really doesn't matter. I am over the blame game in this - it is about me and how I handle certain stresses in my life. So, after 10 days, I will be going back to Day 1 tomorrow. No, I am not rip roaring drunk, but I did have more than two glasses of wine, which I was determined not to do. I wil have to go back to abstinance again - maybe for a very long time. The pain that I am carrying around is like a sponge when alcohol comes into the picture. Better to leave alcohol alone. I should feel guilty, but somewhere in my heart I knew I would have to revisit this and be convinced that abstinance was the only way. I am not able to drink one or two - once alcohol is in my system, I just want to slide into numbness.
Blessings to you all and here's to Day 1, again.
wellseasoned

Hi wellseasoned,

I can absolutely catch your drift - I am identical. Just one drink and I am a goner - I will drink all I have and actively seek more. It took me a long time to realise I simply HAD to abstain until I could regain some clarity. Having found that clarity, I am choosing to continue abstinence. I just don't want to have to worry about how much I am drinking all the time. If it's not a consideration - then I don't have to fret about it!

Sounds like you have reached your turning point, so think of it as a good thing, a step in the direction you want to take. Sometimes it takes a setback to solidify what you really want. Take good care.

Cheers

Kate

Yes, I think we are identical, Kate.
Thank you for your kind and insightful words.
wellseasoned

Well, I'm no where near day ten, heck not even day one, but I relate to what you are saying. This board has been great for me (except for some techno-computer probs complicated by my drinking while trying to register). The folks here are really great. I cannot wait to get my CDs and I'll start reading my downloaded book tonight.

Best wishes
Rock

wellseasoned, I don't think you should consider yourself at day 1. You are at day 11 in the program just like me. You just learned that you won't be able to drink in moderation. We are all learning together here. None of us know when we are going to slip. I need you to hang in there with me at day 11 and keep sharing with me how you are doing. How about the rest of you day eleveners? Eliziby

I have to be honest. Tomorrow will be Day 1 or Day 12. There is a part of me that just wants to self destruct. I fight it every day. MWO is the first ray of hope I have had in a while. When I am feeling really vulnerable, I come here. Thanks to all of you for your support.
God bless
wellseasoned

So Wellseasoned, ...1 day in 10: is still just 1 day... you still have the other 9 to proud of! And who's to say that day 10 wasn't a worthwhile learning experiance? We are all "Works in Progress" here!!:
Maybe just consider it growing pains- whatever! You're still here... To me, that's progress!
I've not met too many perfect humans on this planet yet...ol ( and I have a feeling I probably wouldn't care too much for em if I did!:rolleyes
So, here's to tomorro, we've got something to look forward to! Hugs, Judie

Hey wellseasoned

Give yourself a break. I am on Day 3 and this morning my head was splitting with lack of sleep. Well I hope that is what it was. I cannot at the moment even think about getting to Day 10 let alone anything else. But I must do it for my wife and kid. And most importantly for MEEEE! Because if I go horribly off the rails which I have been getting towards, I may as wel say Hellavista, or whatever is. Then I wont be able to go over to the states and frighten myself %@&less on all those fantastic rides you have there. I wish you luck, but keep on in there.

kirky

dkrik
Thanks! I am getting in five or six days and then having trouble. Today, I am starting the June Ab - one month! We'll see. I take the supps every day and exercise. Also listen to the CD's. It is an upward battle, but I feel I am getting there, slow but sure. Keep up the fight, ok? You are WORTH IT!!
wellseasoned

wellseasoned, It's me again. I have certainly had my ups and downs. There are breezy days, and then there are those I call Calms Forte Days, If you know what I mean. Those are the days I don't dare have anything to drink. Thank goodness, there haven't been too many of those in my 4 weeks of the program. I joined the June 30 day abs as well as the June 30 mods so if I don't suceed with the abs, I will still qualify for the mods. I came into the program for moderation anyway and so far have been sucessful at it. Sure hope it continues. My Dr. doesn't like the idea of moderation. He thinks it's too risky, so I guess we'll see what happens. Sounds like you're doing good. Don't get discouraged on hard days (Calms Forte Days). If you have the Calms Forte, use them to help you through your tough times. They sure help me and that's what we have them for. If you don't have them, you should get them, they aren't expensive at all. I got mine at a health food store for $7.00 something for 100 tablets and after 4 weeks I still have 1/3 bottle. I take them to help with cravings, uneasiness, and sleep. They work. Hugs, Eliziby