Problem

Hello. I heard about this program (and website) on the radio this morning. I've spent the last several hours reading most of the posts. I've always wondered if there are any other people out there like me.... I'm still not sure.
Without going into great lengths to describe my situation (I don't want to bore anyone), I feel it necessary to relay a few essential current and historical items. I drink beer... and I'm very good at it. Started in highschool, continued through college, into my career, first marriage (and divorce), and straight into the present. My first wife left me for various reasons, none of which, according to her, related in any way to my drinking. Which brings me into the topic of my post...the "problem."
No one (except myself) has ever seemed to know or acknowlege that I drink alot of beer. My first wife didn't, my friends don't, my work doesn't, and even my current wife seems oblivious to the fact. Which is amazing to me considering the mountains of empty beer cans that seem to magically develope while I'm having dinner or watching TV.
I consider myself to be at least a moderately intelligent person. I have been employed in a highly responsible position for the past 22 years. Never any problems. My wife says I am a good husband and father.
My "problem" is this: I always hear that the first "step" to sobriety is acknowleging that there IS a problem. Of course, I know that "normal" people generally don't consume 12-14 beers a night (EVERY night). Knowing this, I can confidently say that I have a problem (and have had for many, many years). But I KNOW that I will NEVER hit the proverbial "rock bottom," thus triggering me to seek help and go "cold turkey." I have an uncanny ability to "keep it all together." In other words, I am a great drunk (and certainly NOT proud of it). But yet, I don't want to quit.
Everything else is great... I want to live a long and happy life.
That's my "problem." I know it's a problem, and I KNOW it's killing me....but I don't "want" to quit.
Will this program work if the desire to quit is NOT there? Or is the fact that I'm writing this post an indication that on some level I really do want to quit? (Even though, as I'm writing this, I am extremely looking forward to going home and having "a few" cold ones).
Any input would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you very much for taking the time to read this.

Hi Tom,

Welcome to MWO! I am not sure I can fully answer your quetion, but I will do the best I can. I do know that the first step in getting help is admitting you have a problem so, here you are.

This program, if you choose to follow the program, does call for a 30 day period of abstinence. I think that this period of time is really quite beneficial. It allows you time to really take a look at the role alcohol plays in your life now, and what role, if any, you want it to have in your life in the future.

Many people who start MWO with the idea of moderation down the road simply determine that a life of abstinence is what they prefer. Many others go on and succcessfully moderate. I truly believe the trick here is to start from the VERY beginning.

Order the book, or better yet donwload it from this site. Make a doctors appoitment to discuss the mediction. Order the cds and the supplements. Read as much as you can here. This site is a wealth of information and support!

I have been on the program now for almost eight weeks and have had great success. I am currently at 250mg of topamx. I take the supps, listen to the cds, and exercise daily. I do hope that moderation is in my future, but have not yet made that decision.

I hope this helps! Best of Luck while you begin your journey!

Donna

Hi Tom, and welcome aboard! I can relate very well to your story, as I used to drink about a 12pk a day, myself(when on a roll). When on a bad roll, I'd drink that, and then start in on whatever my Hubby brought home after he got off work!>D
He never knew how much I'd already had, because I used to hide it, for that very reason:rolleyes
Don't miss those days at all!
I'm not very big & used to just drink myself sick. Then I couldn't work, or play...:x :( ....Highly over-rated!!)
Since finding this program, I've been:able to keep my word, keep my job, keep my Hubby,:D a lot of things that I've either lost in the past or come wayyy too close to loosing...
I've been here since jan. & I'm moderating. I did an abstinance period (18 days) planned on 30...:\ , but I'm happy with my progress @ this point & it's a world of diff, from where I was!:b
Good luck & welcome!, Judie:rollin

ps I'm taking topa, 100mg seems to do the trick so far, so good. I f I feel the need to I'll increase it, but I need to be quik on my feet ....& somewhat mentally...ol

Hi Tom,

It's funny..your situation is almost exactly like mine. I was doing 12-15 beers a day and started drinking when I was around 19. Did not always drink this amount. Have had fairly good periods of not drinking. I am now 43 and run my own biz and am on my 2nd marriage. 1st marriage did not end because of beer and haven't really ever had any big problems with the drinking other than my current wife (who is very supportive of me) wanting me to live longer. She has never been a nag...you know..stop drinking or else etc...she just wants me around longer for her and the kids.

Anyway....your situation sounds very much like mine. I would have been perfectly happy to continue to drink that much....or so I thought.

I started the program mostly for my wife....and some for me as well.

I have been on the program a bit over 3 weeks now and am not using the Topa...I am just doing the sups and the CD's after reading the book...and am down to 4/5 beers a day and at times not even that many...sometimes none.

I know I am supposed to stop completely on the program at first and then see about moderate drinking. I have done it my own way....and my drinking...and my wanting to drink..... have actually gone way down.

Don't know what exactly it is...I really believe in the CD's after thinking they were kinda goofy at first...have always liked the mind control thing....but I am sure the sups help as well.

My thinking is that the program has helped me and I thought I was a total goner....and although I have not totally stopped...that has been my choice and I actually am working myself toward that. But am thrilled with being down where I am after 3+ weeks.

The Kudzu helps me I know because I loaded it heavier in the morning when I drink and it helped more. Sorry...just stuck this in here.

Worth a try if you are at least a little willing to try.....I like to try things like this by myself and not ask my wife or family for help but organizing the sups etc was a bit beyond the scope of my ability to hide it so I brought her into it and she is a big help.

Good luck man!

Pete

Tom you heard about My Way Out on the radio? Where? Was it an ad?

Thanks,
Marcie

Hi Tom,

I am in the same boat as well. I am highly functioning (and like you not proud to say that) and don't WANT to quit but KNOW I must cut back drastically in order to be healthy. I am taking just the supps right now; have not read the book and do not have the CDs and I have to say I have cut back a lot. I used to be a two bottle of wine a day drinker and in the last week have been having 3-4 glasses of wine a night; BIG change from before. I hope to keep cutting back and then only drink a couple of times a week. 12-14 beers a day is NOT healthy no matter how well you handle it. If you can cut that in half you would be off to a great start. Keep us posted as to how you are doing.

Hi Marcie,
I heard about it on a classic rock radio station in the Twin Cities (St. Paul/Minneapolis, Minnesota). The station is called KQRS. No it wasn't an ad. They interviewed a guest on thier talk morning show who was associated with the program... I'm sorry, but I missed the first few minutes of the interview, and I don't know the name of the woman. Anyway, she talked about the program, and gave out the web address.
Tom

I want to thank everyone for the kind words and support. It is very nice to be able to relate this unfortunate part of my life to people who understand, can relate, and do not judge.
I need to make a decision. I know my health is suffering. In my younger days I was an athlete and a fitness fanatic, although my workout routines were always capped off with copiuos amounts of that certain "hops and barley" supplemental drink. Nowadays my excercise pretty much consists of driving from one liquor store to another... of course I have to mix it up 'cause I'm ashamed of the same store clerks seeing me every day.
I have a family doctor, but once again, I am ashamed to mention anything to him. And I usually end up thinking, "Why should I say anything to anyone?" "I like drinking beer, why should I stop?" I'm not hurting anyone (but myself).
I cannot bring my wife into this. She views me as the strong backbone of the family... the one who takes care of the problems. She is also from a culture in which drinking (and even heavy drinking) is pretty much a basic part of life (although she herself drinks very little). I truly believe that she does not see a problem with me.
But I need to make a decision.
I have at times went to bed at night and thought, "Maybe I won't stop at the liquor store tomorrow .... I'll drink soda or water with dinner...no big deal." And even when I wake up in the morning, I'll think "Yeah, I can go ONE day without beer."
But of course by 2pm or 3pm I'll have forgotten, and now I'm thinking, "Man, I had a tough day at work....can't wait to get home, relax, and numb myself with some beer." "And why not? I want to... I like it..."
Anyway, I guess I need to go. Again I want to thank everyone for thier input and support.
Tom

Tom,

I heard the interview on KQRS this morning as well, and have decided that this is how I'm going to make my stand against a progressive problem. I'm in your shoes, man... great wife, great kids, big job, and an incredible ability to rationalize a half a bottle of scotch every night. I need to take back control for my health, for my family. I have an alcoholic sister (11 years sober now, thank God) so I've seen where this leads, and it isn't pretty.

I'm trying to find a healthcare provider here in the Twin Cities that is supportive of the MWO approach. If I find it, I will post it for you.

Here we go... best luck to you.

DH

Hi, Tom. I am deeply touched by your post and feel pretty much a lot of what you do. I am a functional drinker but over the past few months things have gotten to rock bottom; no, I didn't lose my job, I pay my bills on time, etc. but I have alienated my family from a few episodes ... and they are drinkers, as well so that kind of puts it in perspective, or if not, they are in denial about their probs, where I am admitting mine. I totally relate to the shopping around but heck, even with that, maybe five packies, they all know me. I just try to vary the routine to seem less "alcoholic" than I know I am. I too would like to moderate but I have found that I cannot ... I have one, I cannot stop till all the liquor in the house is gone. Yet I still get up and go to work. I always imagine my coworkers can smell it oozing out of my pores - even after a vigorous shower, mouthwash, perfume (woman here) and I do believe that is true. I sure wish someone could confirm that for me. It seems to me that once we become drinkers we don't even know (or notice on other drinkers) the stank from the booze.

I also relate to the "I can stop for one night" - every day - and like you, by 2-3 PM I'm thinking about stopping off and buying my wine. I also go with the "I had such a tough day at work ... or my daughter slighted me" or whatever. Anything can set me off.

For myself, I believe alcoholism or a tendency is genetic - I had an alcoholic brother and father, and two alcoholic grandfathers. And my mother drinks copiously but doesn't seem to have a problem - or at least not one she will admit.

Anyway, best wishes for you. I downloaded the book last night and hope to read it tonight, ordered the CDs (3-5 business days to arrive, so they tell me via email) and I don't want the topa or compral either, but I will try the supplements if they fit with the other medications I already have to take. Hang in there. I think you asked yourself the right question - why did you come to this website if you didn't have some questions and doubts?

Best
Rock