Hey doymojo I'm pretty much feeling the same way

First up - Apologies to Shas because I thought I was in control yesterday, gave her some advice then blew it last night.

doymojo I feel pretty disgusted with myself today as well. Not only did I drink too much last night, I actually PLANNED to drink too much, even though I didnt feel like it. Yesterday afternoon I felt like MT Vesuvius about to BLOW, don't know why, I just felt confused and couldnt get my act together. I told my daughter that I didnt like Fridays any more because I havent had a drink to celebrate the week and she just smiled. I then went down to the bottleshop and purchased:-

2 x bottles of wine
1 x 4 pack bourbon & coke (Bulleit brand 9% which blows your head off)
1 x 4 pack Capri cocktails

The people who work there were SO pleased to see me after a month... I felt like I was doing myself a favour, amazing how we can dupe ourselves.

My neighbour came over with another two bottles of wine. We sat out the back verandah (cause she smokes, it is a bit cool at present), and blah blah blah. I missed tea, I had made a huge pot of minestrone which was delicious, but I was too busy wasnt I?

About 9pm I went to the loo and I looked in the mirror and thought You are Off Your FACE!@$! So, I went upstairs, put my nightie on, cleaned my teeth and promptly put myself to bed.

Woke up at 5am with a headache and feeling rotten, took panadol and went back to bed until 8.30am and here I am renamed "Mrs @#%$" and wondering what the hell got in to me to go through it all again. Thinking back to the fuzzy haze, I didnt really enjoy it at all. So there you go.

Back into the Campral this morning, panadol and probably back for a bit more sleep. The house work can wait. Back to walking away from the burning wreck. Jools

PS I have been mucking around with the Campral for the last three days, missing doses etc.

Hey Jools,
Don't beat yourself up over it:\ Pick yourself up and start again because you are clever, smart and very aware of yourself and the way your own mind works against yourself. I know you can do it and I believe in you:D You don't need to apologise because the advice was good and I listened and followed it. It worked well for me And least I know why I haven't heard from you over the weekend!
Talk to you soon.
Love Shas

Sorry to hear you had a bad weekend. Mine never got any better as I had to drink "hair of the dog" to keep from feeling worse which just became an ugly cycle. I feel very polluted today but am also optimistic that I will not drink all week. I disgusted with myself that much. I did not take the supps all weekend and really think that contributed to me caving in so much. Here is to a new start this week Jools. Let's keep each other posted as to how we are doing, okay???

Molly

Hi Molly
That is the absolute correct word - Polluted - is how I feel when I overdo it. I guess the stress and anxiety just gets to ya and it isnt hard to get carried away. I might just add that I didnt drink all the stuff I bought, however I made a mighty fine dent in the two bottles of wine and had one cosmopolitan and one bourbon. That was enough to make me sick as a dog. Then I read on the posts that taking certain pain killers for a hangover can kill you or damage you at least. Heck, thats enough to stop drinking I think- I am a pill popper from way back!

How are you going anyway - Keep me posted I am having a clean and non polluted week.

Jools xx