My daughter has autism

Patty,

I went through the same experience with my daughter at 21 months. We were told she had Pervasive Development Disorder (PDD) which put her on the autistic spectrum. AUtism is a spectrum situation-there are varying degrees of it. Anyway, I thought I would die. I was in such despair and in such a dark place. But like many mothers, another part of me rallied, and we got her into speech therapy, occupational therapy and special ed. She got lots of services for a few years and today she is a perfectly normal, typical, happy, emotionally connected 9 year old who has no idea she had this problem!

The important thing, I think, is to hang on to hope and know that their little brains are malleable and connections within can be established. Lots of treatment is the key, in my opinion, whatever will help her engage with people.

My heart goes out to you, it's a scary scary thing to find out your child has a problem like this. Some days I am amazed I am still here; I'm thankful that I am because she is an amazing little girl. Please feel free to write to me in my EZ box if you want to talk. I know the pain you are in-I called them The Dark Days in a paper I wrote about my daughter. Just remember these kids can make a lot of progress!

Ann

Patty,

I have one son and he developed a mental disease at 14. It runs in my family but I never once thought I'd pass it on because I am fine. I can't tell you the pain, guilt and sheer despair I went through. That's when I started drinking. I coudn't bear it.

Please know that this is Not your fault in any way. And as others have said, there is a very wide spectrum of autism, such as asperger's syndrome which is very mild and they can grow up and be quite normal with the right care. I think my mother may have had a touch of that. She said she didn't say a word till she was 2 1/2, but by the time she went to school she had a normal vocabulary. I will say she found it difficult to express her emotions but there was no doubt she had them. And that was at a time when there was no therapy for anything like this. And no acceptance. Today there is so much to help and she can come through this and be fine.

Patty, I am so sorry you have to face this. You have enough trouble. Perhaps this will bring you and your hub closer, realizing that there are more important things. Together, you will give your daughter the best.

Sending you all good thoughts.

Ned

hi-
I couldn't agree more with the above posts. The term "autism" is frightening but means different things for different individuals, as it can range from mild (most mild can be called "aspergers") to severe. I am a psychologist who works in a prestigious private school considered very academic, and we have a couple of students currently diagnosed with aspergers. Don't despair. Get another opinion. I would recommend having an evaluation by a neuropsychologist with experience working with/diagnosing PDD children (pervasive developmental disorders-autism is one of these). There are lots of supports out there as well, as I am sure the diagnosing dr. will provide you.

good luck

happy

I sent you an email. Hope it is helpful

bak

Dear Patty,

I am so sorry this has happened to you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please get a second opinion.

Hugs,
Mary

Dear Patty - sorry we lost touch in the chat room. You'll be in my thoughts. The other folks who have added to this thread seem to me to have some very wise advice. AND like them, I'd like to say it's not your fault.

Hopefully it is very mild or perhaps something else entirely. And if not, as RJ said, you'll be able to handle it given time.

Best and hugs
Cathy

Hi Patty,

Sorry I wasn't on chat yesterday - went and fell asleep!
Hope things a bit less chaotic today. Columbia sounds good - that's a research hospital. There is LOTS of info at NICHD website - google "autism NICHD." I did today and couldn't finish reading there is so much.

Maybe talk later on chat -
Pansy

Patty,

I have been away a few days. I know I don't reply much. Quite shy actually. Love & prayers to you but I really feel all is going to be well with your little girl & you & your husband. One way I know is that I have read some of your posts & you are a remarkably strong & wise young woman & wonderful mother & within mothers comes a resilence and hidden power to do what is right for their children especially in times of crisis. And so you will. Even though it is scary.

I remember when my daughter was very sick & the counselor looked at me & said "this is not your fault"..and so very wise counsel Mom to Mom from RJ & others.

And just thought of this... God must be watching over you to bring you to the board at this time in your life to receive such marvelous input from other mothers (& Dads) having gone through the same problem and professionals who know about it & give such good direction.

I feel you are in good hands. And I am also very happy you have such a good hubby.

Love & Prayers,
Chrysa

I'm so sorry - you must get a second opinion - thinking of you. XX

thank you to all of you - getting ready for week two of a long week of "being on the horn" getting things done" Hope you all had a nice holiday, Patty