Paranoia

Hi everyone--haven't been here in a week--was out of town for my employer (with boss and co-workers) and had it all planned; took laptop with me and was going to chat each night; but Monday they were talking about another former employee who had to turn their laptop back in when they left the firm and IT found links to all kinds of gambling websites; "must have had a problem" etc. so I panicked and didn't check into MWO at all. Luckily I could check my personal e-mail (I have exchanged e-mail addresses with several MWOers) and could still stay in touch.

I am just having so many issues with admitting any of my drinking issues to anyone around me. The work issue I think is wise considering boss' personality, but friends and family? Anyone else struggling with this? I guess I keep thinking that I can't get totally honest with myself until I get honest with them?
Ter

I have only told my husband, not sure if you read my post but he outed me to his best friend and god knows who will find out. This won't be a fun weekend. You tell whomever you feel comfortable telling, some people may be now some people may be never. It's your business and that's why we are on this site and not in a huge forum. Good luck, Patty

I live on a very small little town(actualy I live 10 mi. outside of town), but, you know how that is... "If you don't know what you're doing around here... everyone else always does!":rolleyes ...(whether it's true or not!!):\ :o
Oh and Hi Ter!! have missed ya!:D

Hi, Too Much. Boy, do I feel for you. I too am a professional (programmer) and use a laptop and am always well aware that my large company is always monitoring EVERYTHING. I watch where I visit from work or signed in from home, and emails -- everything.

I certainly cannot and will not let my work folk know about my prob - they probly suspect but heck, I just got a rave review so I cannot be doing to bad .. I look at it this way, if I'm getting the same raise as everyone else, and a good review and no warnings, I must be doing something okay and functional and valuable to the greater work community.

Friends I'm not ready to share with yet. Family ... perhaps a little bit, and soon. I unfortunately just had an ugly incident that I precipitated with my mom and ... she feels bad and is worried about me ... that is what made me start to look for help here.

Want to talk some more? We should meet up in the chat room, perhaps, depending where in the world we live.

Best of luck
Rock

Hi Patty, Jude, and Rock, thanks . . . this has been on my mind a lot since I first came to MWO. Patty, I did read your post about your husband, and I guess that's just what I'm afraid of. Jude, I can relate--my area is a sprawling suburban area but everyone knows everyone, and everyone knows my brother (a local business person) and so everyone knows who I am. Local restauranteurs, grocery store personnel, etc. etc. Even the head of the post office went to high school with me.

So I'm just not comfortable with "outing" myself. Rock, I live in Maryland, Eastern Standard Time. I'll e-mail my address to your EZInbox.

Actually, I'm thinking of confiding with an ex-co-worker who is a good friend but definitely does not live in the area. I know she'll "keep a secret." I keep wishing for the kind of friend RJ found in Brenda, someone to join in the "program" with.

Thanks guys,
Hugs
Ter

I had (emphasis on HAD) a very close friend who also has a drinking problem. She still works in my same city and we are totally estranged now - she told some stories about me that I would never, even in retaliation, do to her. I just sort of avoid her and grin and bear it. Yes, I made an ass of myself with her, but she did the same ... I just say this to you to PLEASE PLEASE protect yourself because friends can turn, especially if they don't approve and even more so, if they have the same problem and haven't admitted it yet, and so feel superior by outing you.

Your friend may be totally different but I really loved my ex-girlfriend (like a sister, I'm hetero) but please be very sure. Maybe there is someone more appropriate to talk to.
Cathy

Hey Ter,

Fortunately, I'm self-employed, and my computer is just that, mine! (I think you can learn how to erase your internet activity from someone who really knows the ropes, incidently!)I've "come out" with my family (as if they were deaf, dumb and blind and hadn't noticed anyway ol ) and they have provided plenty of support to me. I've also been pretty honest with my friends. Funnily enough, it would be hardest to admit a failure here, with my new MWO friends!!!!:o But I'm very honest. It might take a few days, but I'd 'fess up if I screwed up! I understand though, Ter. In corporate America, damn! I admire you for working there!

Hugs,
Kathy

I have also avoided telling anyone. After 20 years of hiding my drinking I suspect it is second nature at this point. I did bring a bit of it up with my husband, but he made it clear he doesn't see the problem with drinking and has no intention of changing what he does. He doesn't encourage me to drink, but that is the extent of his involvement. (Would have been nice to be able to get alcohol out of the house.) I guess that is why I love this site, people who understand and don't judge.

I have found that no one has in any way been negative about my not drinking when we go out. It just hasn't been an issue. Since I am doing this pretty much alone, I do wipe out the internet history when I use the family desktop computer. If I were still working I would not sign on with the work computer - any personal business at work is risky.

I am pretty new to this site (about 3 weeks) and have chosen not to tell anyone although my husband knows I am not drinking at all during the month of may. My feeling is that this is still all so new to me I have to sort it out in my own mind before I start announcing it to the world. Maybe in the future I will talk about this experience to everyone but for now I am working this out alone but with the help of everyone on this site.Whatever we do it has to feel right to us.

Rock/Cathy--now that is EXACTLY what I am afraid of--I have several close friends at an old firm I used to work at, one of them the friend I mentioned; I don't burn bridges at any ex-employer's because you never know when you will have to go and ask for a job or a reference. That is one of the reasons I have been hestitating to confide in this friend; thank you for the caution; I think it was just what I needed to hear.

Vino--welcome, great community here for you.

Ter