Day 19

Gotta get this in quick....

That's for thinking I don't love ya anymore, Judie!
Ahhhhhhhh. Hubby finally went to work this morning. He's been working from home most mornings, and the kids have been up early. Then with swim practice and that garage sale, ...BUSY. Did I tell you I raised $332 for my fundraiser? Only a shade under $3300 to go....:eek
Tammie, you are probably good at fundraisers with the kids and all. Give me some ideas!!! I'm starting this week with letters to my friends and family. That should bring in a few hundred bucks. Then, the bar that sponsors hubby's rugby team said they would do a parking lot party to benefit the team and leukemia/lymphoma society. So that hopefully should raise a few grand. This is more work than I thought it would be. Thing is, I thought I would really need the training and motivation (which I do, and it does really help), but my running is going pretty well with the plans I made through THIS BOARD!! Who knew! Plus I've pulled up a couple trng schedules from the internet.... oh well, great cause, and every extra motivation helps! Yoga/stretching class by our running coach Wed. That should be cool. I've never done yoga before.

Where is Lois (Oshadawg)? Did you eat more rubber band hot dogs and bounce away?:\ Wanna hear how you are doing. Oh, maybe you are gone this wknd and I've been so busy, I missed it! Hope all is well!:d

Tawny, so glad to see you are doing great also. Just that steady, moderating pace, huh? That's "brilliant"!!:D

Kathy, how is your mom? You two having a nice time?
Mary, how did you do over the weekend?
Shas, you too??? I hope things have settled down for you.:d
Man, that hug guy is cute! I agree with happycamper!

Who am I missing? Wanted to say "HI" to everyone this morning because I feel very neglectful!

HOPE! you! Things better? :d :d 2 hugs for you. How is that tummy. I think mine is resolved for the current time... I'm taking a multivitamin instead of the All One, now the rest of the supps don't seem to bother me, so may have found the culprit. Unless it was 0] because did do that cleanse....or some weird virus....ANYHOW>>> I hope yours is totally cleared up too AND I REALLY hope that you had a good weekend with your daughter.

OK, to anyone I missed, I'll catch ya later! Happy belated Father's Day to all the dads out there!

Today is our 7 yr anniversary and Hub has something planned for tonight and he won't tell me. Just said "dress up".

Drinking last wk: only 1 AF day which is bad. Want 2-3. But no real overboard days. A few days with a few drinks, a few days with the old "drink per hour" over the course of the night when we were out with friends. Drink count for the week higher than I like (LOVE that diary--incriminating evidence), so I'm of course, back at it! For every wk I have that I don't like, I get a week or two that I'm really happy with. And noticing the week I don't like is still nothing like the weeks of old. OMG, can't imagine what those counts would have looked like!
Honestly, I think my drink count for Fri, Sat together in the "old days" would equal what I would consider a "bad week" total.
Well, enough. If you missed me, You don't anymoreappy

Happy Monday!
Becca

p.s.
Wanted to add that "drink per hour" thing: Clarification:
There are rules to that that I'm strictly following and it's working great to keep me from THE DARK SIDE (black outs, evil twin, 0] ,:x ,:( ,:evil )
-Wait until 4pm to take Topa, then wait a bit for it to kick in. Absolutely no drinking ever ever ever before 4pm. This has really saved my a** a lot, I feel, as sometimes, that topa kicks in, then I forget for a while, and all the sudden it's 5, 5:30 or so! Then I just have "normal" wine with hubby, not have already gone thru a bottle before he even gets home:eek
-sip, no chugging!
-real, drinks. Not ginormous glass of wine or 3oz of liquor per drink! I'm being pretty fair.
-water and food too.
OK, I'm really done now.
I think:p

Unfortunately, I was not anything even approaching moderate yesterday....:o I drank over a bottle of wine. Part of it was fun with a friend over yakking and talking with my mom in the afternoon. (Hot as hell, though, would have been better with iced tea! :rolleyes ) Continued on into the evening though, when I should have stopped after receiving another nasty gram from my ex (not usually his style, which is passive-agressive, and therefore indicative of his current state of desperation). Sigh. It is very disturbing to me to know that he and his father are fighting again, even though some of it is slopping over onto me. Am I co-dependent or what?:rolleyes

At any rate, this has mobilized me to get together some stuff to take to my lawyer and get the ball rolling, and I just fired off an e-mail to him setting some limits on the amount of paranoid crap I'm willing to take from him (answer: none). Despite feeling internally crappy, I was mature and balanced in my e-mail.... I just wonder why it is so easy for me to get drawn into this drama and not just tell him to screw off? This guy has screwed me financially and emotionally and part of me still feels bad for him. I amaze myself sometimes with my capacity to be self-defeating. (not that I am not furious, because I am.) It is clear to me that I must really work on separating myself from all the crap going on in NJ and focus hard on my life to rise above all of this BS.

Thankfully, I'm not hungover, because drinking took place over a long period of time, but the thought of wine is pretty yucky!

Love to all!
Kathy

Morning Everybody! I'm still tired from last night...|I :p Maybe I'm getting too old to work that hard!! Couldnt be all that kayaking in the wind....going back upstream to my truck yesterday!! I ran into some friends on the river.. actually, I was just unloading my boat from the truck (with my back to the river), & I hear, "BUNGEE!" I turn around & there's 2 tandem kayaks pddling down towards the truck. I couldn't tell who it was, because they where still too far away. But they recognized my dog ! ol It was a gal I used to work with @ the lodge & her Hubby & friends.
So I jumped in & paddled w/them for while, went further downstream than planned, Hubby was home so I thought I'd just call & have him shuttle me back up to truck...but he didn't answer phone...So I decided, rather than risk it (that his phone was probably out in the van... (& it was...found out later), I'd better get my butt back up to my truck, & quick! Or I'd be late to work! So I did the marathon ...against the wind & current ... back upstream... Made it!!What a workout though! My arms are sore, and I paddle all the time! Me? ... CRAZY?appy KINDA!!I guess it helps!ol :rolleyes

Becca, Soo nice to see ya back!I was ready to go eat worms!:c ol Oh, And Happy Anniversary! :d How fun a suprise, date!:d
Hope you're not bringin MIL!!ol
Sounds like you've been very busy busy, enjoy yor evening with your man!:d

Kathy, I sure don't envy having an ex to deal with. I have Ex Bo's... but no "real" attachment anymore, just old memories... better forgotten. :c Amazing how sometimes we still feel vulnerable to a certain degree with some people...

Glad your still enjoying time with Mom. How's your daughter doing?

Tawny, have missed ya in chat the past couple of nights... but I've been pretty beat, myself. Maybe catch up w/ya later...
I've been homesick for Telluride with the Blugrass Fest going on this past weekend, lots of incredible music! Sure miss al of that!:c And those Mts! :P

"Imagination is wonderful if we don't use it against ourselves. Like fire it is a reality of great power capable of either warming and giving life or of burning and destoying everything it touches. Consider how often we create problems that never come to be! Family gatherings we know will drive us crazy turn out to be uneventful or even pleasant. Phone calls we put off for months or years because of the excruciating pain they will cause are not the big deal we thought they would be. Once made, decisions we dreaded and avoided improve our lives so much we wonder what we were waiting for!'

Still looking pretty quiet around here....:rolleyes :(

Sure hope everybody is doing ok....Hope, Mary, Shas, Tammie,Wombat,Ivy,Lois,Red Cardinal,Helen, Eliziby, ...0] 0] 0] ???Abduction?

Boy Judie and Becca,

It really has been quiet around here these days!!! What gives??? I'm still around though and hope it helps!!! It sure was good to go to work today and get out of my own head for a while!!!

Lotsa love!
Kathy

Hi ladies,

Sorry to be away but had one of those weekends where, I grocery shopped, cooked and cleaned and had the Father's Day thing.

Judie, Sounds like you are still working toooooo hard! Your husband sounds adorable!!

Kathy, I think it is great that when we overdo now days we just really don't overdo like before. We are quite aware of it and make strides to overcome those days.

Becca, tough to raise all that money huh? One thing I have done for fund raisers before is set up silent auctions and or drawings for prizes. You can usually get hotels, restaurants even a limo services to buy into something charitable if you can give them some promotional marketing for your event. Good Luck!! Happy Anniversary! Have a wonderfully romantic dinner and . . . . :d

Hope, :P that is for you and your daughter - praying that you two are having a close time and are coming to be on the same page!

Tammie, You sound like you are doing great!

I had two events on Friday evening and drank a glass of wine at each. so over 6 hours that wasn't bad. Drank one shot of tequila on Sat. and then yesterday I had one rum and coke before dinner but after everyone left - I had 3 more. :o NOT LIKING that when I feel stressed to that point, I just can't wait to overdo it! I also though went to sleep the past four nights with the clearing tape on - so - tonight, I am doing that directly after work and hope that will help me feel relaxed and calm.

Some fun jokes came in my emails today - I will try to get them up.

Hugs to all,
Mary

PS: Where's Wandering Wombat?

Hi Everybody,
Just checking in for my daily fix on Judes quotes!
Happy Anniversary Becca BE GOOD appy
Have done 32 days of abs with 2 slips so maybe starting to figure I will try mods. Haven't completely made up my mind yet. Can anybody tell me if I have to do 30 abs with no slips before I try mods?
Maybe the cyber ghost got all your threads lately!
Everybody sounds pretty good in the way that even though they might be struggling or feel that haven't done as well they want, they are thinking things through and learning. I think that is REAL progress!
Lots of :d &
Shas