day 23

Although I do spend a lot of time alone... I am guilty of always having some sort of distraction, usually, a stereo playing... even if I'm in the middle of the river... Oh and I guess, I'm not really alone, because I almost always have my doggie on the bow of the boat...ol :rolleyes

"Being alone is a markedly different experience than being lonely."

Being left alone is just about the most crushing, terrifying eventuality that many of us can think of. Past experience has taught us to equate aloneess with abandonment, if not punishment. So we do whatever we have to do to avoid separation from the group. If no one is handy, we'll settle for a face on TV or a voice on a radio- anything but our own company.
Yet we run from opportunity when we run from solitude. Understandable as our fear of aloneness may be, it is only in quiet solitude that we can see with the spirit. ONLY IN STILLNESS CAN WE COME FACE TO FACE WITH OUR OWN BEAUTY AND TRUTH.:P

BEUTIFUL JUDIE!

Donna

Good meditation, Judie. Nice to wake up to you again!:d It helps me to remember the good things that came out of my marital troubles and divorce (drinking was the other legacy:( ). I gained a lot of strength of character during the late 90's and early 2000's. I learned that I COULD endure being alone, I COULD raise my daughter by myself, I COULD complete an advanced training program, and I could CARE ABOUT myself. Also, I would not have to settle for a relationship that didn't meet my needs because I could now BEAR to be alone with myself. Of course, drinking did ease the pain. and when I joined MWO, I knew that drinking was one of the final frontiers for me. I will have to learn to deal with all of those feelings/issues again, of course, without the pleasant little distance that alcohol gives to some of the painful feelings of life.

At any rate, I'm doing okay. Last night only drank 1 1/2 glasses of wine and then was done. It wasn't tasting very good. I'm having friends over tonight though, so I imagine that I won't be nearly so "good" then, although I plan on loading up on some kudzu and l-glut as well, and doing my best to mind my p' and q's! I'm going to use Marcie's recipe for ribs, so I'm excited! I just hope it doesn't dump down rain while I'm trying to grill, because they are threatening severe thunderstorms this afternoon! We had a beautiful thunderstorm last night, which also gave us some much-needed rain.

Love, Kathy

Morning Everybody(for real, this time )
Hey, Donna! Thanks for Poppin in! I do a sneak peak over yonder every once in a while too... good stuff!

Kathy, BBQ'in sounds like a lot more fun than throwin food @ people... probably doesn't pay as well though...:rolleyes
I used to love watching thunder & lightning storms when I lived in my tree-house. Although, sometimes it could get a little close for comfort!
I was actually a bit nervous about going back to work @ the cafe... a few months back(because of previous history there...) and having self-doubt, on staying sober... and expectations, living under a microscope... etc...
Seems like it was one of the best moves I've made in a long time! I've gotten wonderful support & encouragement,(there's no doubt... I'm doing MUCH better than I was 8 yrears ago!!). And also, I don't have time to drink or even think about it once I'm @ work. So 4 or 5 nights a week, I'm safe from all of my demons till 10:00 or 11:P M... And by the time I get home, I barely have energy or time to drink more than 2 glasses of wine(if that), per night! Last night I got home & had 1 light beer, & 1/2 a glass of wine, next thing ya know it's 2: AM!

Good thing I'm easily amused... I catch myself laughing out loud sometimes, when there's no one around,(cept for my dog... who's pretty funny too!) Just "crack" myself up... every chance I get!ol :P appy

Why we Split up...

(I'll apologize in advance, for this one... tried to think of a way to turn it around...gender-wise... but it just didn't quite work that way...:rolleyes )

She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit. Then I caught her spending $65 on make-up. I asked her how come I had to give up stuff and not her. She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me. I told her that was what the beer was for... I don't think she's coming back.ol

I swear my Hubby must've written this!

Hi there,

I am new to the posting-thing, but thought I'd join in today since it is my bday and being new I still don't know exactly what to do! I will watch and write on the board often, until I get the kudzu and topa..................and save up for the cds...should have my book soon(I hope, ordered it Wed)

Mary Anne

Happy Day 23!

Hi Ladies,

I have had my share of technical difficulties the last couple days. Imagine having your whole life's work wrapped up in emails and websites as that is my lifeline. Cable went down on Monday, drove me pretty crazy then went down Wednesday and Thursday. Since the landlord in the buidling lied to me how and why, I wasted even more time not knowing exactly what was wrong and looking outside the building instead of from their office to my hub. Gotta say I spend a nice chunk of change on this office suite and expect a bit better outta them. Long and short of it, I just repaired everything yesterday about 4:30 and downloading 2 days of emails, thinking I will be here until at least 10 pm catching up. Phone rings, it is my youngest son who has dislocated his patella. I finally get home from emergency room etc at 10:30 last night. Did have 2 rum shots - no coca cola as I was totally needing to go to bed. Got up extremely early and started this all over again. did pressure my orthopaedic doctor to see him today as the kid has planned and paid for his own trip to Europe in 10 days. They have to do an MRI but he just called from my phsical therapist table and said doc says probably not an ACL tear. Has to now go for a brace. I guess the good thing is I know everyone and they have bent over backwards for the kid because they have been seeing me for a year. My husband has totally been the taxi driver for the day which I really appreciate.

so I was catching up on the last couple days mods and sounds like people are all holding their own. Awesome. I have done AFs and 1-2 drinks or shots.

Judie, once again great quote. Still sound like you are working your butt off!

Kathy, gosh it is so tough with ex's sometimes. :rolleyes Thinking to myself last night - his dad never does this hang out in the hospital stuff nor pays for crisis either. How fair is that? >:

Welcome Mary Ann, I know you will love to come to this site - the people are terrific.

Becca - sorry about the husband - You can't shoot and yet good communication skills would dictate that at some points in time, that would be the appropriate route. :rollin Choose your battles carefully though. Most times the guys are so worth having around. Mine is the opposite of yours and just messy, messy messy. I make him crazy cleaning so I try not to do so much! Just remember opposites attract!

Hope, I am praying that everything is going well for you.

Tammie, bet you are doing great!

Well ladies, looks like I may be in here tomorrow but not on Monday as my mom's operation is that day. She did pass her EKG, which means she can have her operation.

Hoping I am not looking at ACL surgery for the kid, he worked so hard to buy the ticket to Europe and is so excited to backpack and go.

Have an excellent weekend all!

:d Mary

Hello all!
Sorry about the late check in!
Off to son's baseball game soon too, so this will be quick too. you figure summer will be laid back, but NO WAY!
Things better here. Thanks again for all the love when I was feeling crappy with hubby stuff. Funny you say about opposites attracting, Mary...as I look at his unpacked suitcase from almost 2 wks ago...I digress (he ain't as perfect as he would like to project on me!!!!)
Judie, the lonliness is a scary thought. Yes, I love my "alone" time, but I completely occupy it with being with you all, or the TV, or the phone, or the spa... maybe sometimes an alone dip in the hot tub! Definitely something to think about.

hey, I want to let you guys in on my plan for july.

Tomorrow.

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!appy

I'm so funny!! Hint: it has to do with the running...I think I've joked about it before, but I'm serious now! Labor day is fast approaching!
BTW: I'm regularly going 5 miles now. Have another grp run on Sunday and plan on 7 miles which will be my new record. Have to get to 10 or 11 miles before the race which is 13.1 miles. Guess they figure that if you can do 10 or 11, the adrenaline will carry you the last couple of miles on race day!
I'm still kind of freaked out, but 5 is a lot easier than it was a month ago, so I'm optimistic. Just wanted to give an update. Even though it seems kinda unrelated, the running is a HUGE part of my drinking plan -------er, my not-drinking-so-damn-much-plan!!:p

OK, gotta go.
Probably won't be able to check back in tonight. Hubby wants to share some wine on the new deck! hot tub... too bad I'm pms'ing. That will be his punishment for bein' mean. (holy, grudge!) ok, it's let go now.

Bye!
Bec

Oooh, let me know how the ribs turn out! Ok, so I decided to moderate a bit this week after a couple hard days last week.

I drank one glass of wine today after working in the yard on the shed we are building.

I will go to the doc next week to find out about treatment for Hepatitis. I know I can't drink while on that, so I figured I would get it in while I can. Which is what caused the problems last week. So I'm just taking it easy and having a beer or glass of wine at night for the next couple nights while I can.

I hope it's ok if I join the group for the next few days!

Marcie

Feeling a tad apprehensive today.

In a short while I'm off to a 50th Anniversary bbq - some very nice friends. It's my first big social occasion since moderating. I soooooo don't want to blow it. Have eaten a truck load of kudzu and spent most of the morning re-reading old posts. I find they give me strength.

I shall take one bottle of red.

Tawny