Day 25

Hi Mary Anne,

Sorry you're so down. But please don't worry about being depressing here. We have all been there! That sucks that you have to wait so long for your topa. Tell me, have you ordered or bought any supps, or the All One? They help a lot with detoxing. I don't remember which parts of the program you're using as of yet. But regardless, you can and are welcome to join us here and start abs.

Let's see, well I guess the first step really is the scariest, kind of like wondering if you should jump in the pool. Once you're in and get used to it, it's fine! The journey has to begin somewhere and it sounds like you're ready to begin. So check in with us and let us know what you're doing, and how you're feeling so we can give you feedback & help you get started.

:d Deirdre

Hi. I just woke up. You all are something else... TY for being here! And TY for understanding...

Yeah, I feel like sh*t right now. I'm thinking OH YEAH... I reaaaally miss this morning after the night before sick stomach pounding fuzzy head bad tempered mad at the whole d*mned world feeling....NOT!!!

Hubbie was really very sweet about it this morning. Morning??? Gaaaaaaah... It's almost 6 d*mned oclock here! Anyway... He held me. I cried. And he just reminded me of the progress made so far and encouraged me not to give up... Just like y'all did.

OK... Today is gonna be a WTF day. Where do I get my bumper sticker? AAers might be welcome but they'd better stay the hell away from ME today 'cuz this is NOT day one for me and I AINT picking up no d*mned white chip!!!

Love y'all... ty

Uhmmmm... Just to clarify... NO ... I am NOT drinking today. Today, I don't ever want to drink again.... EVER...

Jane,
Laughing......You know WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE.
Okay...no white chips......promise. gabby

Jane, I am so gald your hubby was there for you! You needed that kind of support today!

Gabby Girl, where do you come up this stuff? "National WTF Day, AA'ers Welome" TOO DAMN FUNNY!!

I think I get the idea, but um, what's a white chip?

Well Jane, I'm glad you got some rest and I'm glad you have the support in your hubby. And I agree that you should just pickup where you left off & keep counting. So today is what, day 18? 19? 20? Congrats on picking yourself up & gettin back on the wagon!!

Deirdre

I thought a white chip must be something you got at an AA meeting Deirdre. So what's a white chip Jane? Gabby?

Deirdre and Donna,

The infamous white chip... The d*mned AA chip of shame and humiliation! If you "slip" in AA, you're supposed to go to a meeting. At the end of the meeting, you walk up to the podium (in front of God and everyone) and pick up a white poker chip. The white chip signifies the first day of sobriety. The FIRST d*mned day... AGAIN! And it doesn't matter how many sober days you have behind you either. If you mess up... You have to start ALL OVER. BS! BS! BS! Now just how is THAT suppose to encourage a drunk??? I'm already hungover. That's punishment enough thanks...

So today is my 19th outta 20 days. NOT day one! I refuse to accept that defeatest attitude and make ZERO appologies to AA... This is MY WAY OUT!

:D s to all ya'll.

ps... I gotta feeling Bill W would roll over in his grave if he knew what "they" have done to his basic AA program...

hi jane: sending you a big hug and another big hug. i honestly don't know what took me over either. cept i honestly forgot to take my afternoon pills friday and as the day slipped past and i had dinner with friends i found myself drinking wine and wondering what the heck happened. there i was having the same old self back. it was quite odd. so i spent saturday and today really in some kind of a depression/panic attack. just getting myself back together. wasn't that i did anything bizzarre just that it scared me how easy it was to slip. it simply just was so easy to go unconscious for me to my commitments. so although i'm feeling a bit odd sure it will all come back together sometime soon. here's to day 2 and a renewed sense of awareness of how fragile my sobriety is and how precious my new sense of self is. see you all tomorrow.
Kimber

oh that's actually cool i didn't see the counting thing. it does feel rather defeating to go back to zero when i had it at day 13. but, you know i'm thinking about it and the numbers don't really mean much to me as much as means something to me to be able to share what is happening for me and not be judged.

wow, i can't believe this overwhelming depression/anxiety that is coming over me. must be the glimpse of the ghosts of the past. yes, i don't want to go back to that old life.
thanks for listening
kimber