Day 28

Hi Surfers!

Day 28 here and we're riding some beautiful waves! appy
Kowabunga dude! or however you spell it...

I'm filled with thoughts about what type of alkie all the drinkers I know might be after doing the questionnaire cv posted (What type of drinker are you?) I think I'm a THIQ, with some allergy & EFA in there too. It's getting me to think about my family and wondering which type they are/were. My paternal grandfather (who had the nerve to die before I was old enough to be properly introduced) died of alcohol related malnutrition. Yep, my man starved himself with drinking. So I'm thinking he was EFA? I think he was depressed, and I see this in my father too, who drinks moderately now, but seemed to be a heavy beer drinker during my childhood. Other than them, my older bro and possibly my maternal grandmother, who now gets pretty smashed on 2 glasses of wine at age 93, but seemed to drink moderately up until recently. Maybe just age, not alcoholism? And as for me, I'm pretty sure that everyone in my family would be shocked if i came out and announced my drinking problem, that's how well I've closeted it.

It pisses me off that there's so much shame surrounding the issue, so of course information is clouded and people are closeted. Actually, I can't be mad... it is what is is...

:y Keep Hangin Ten Surfbots!! :y

Deirdre

Seven beers followed by two Scotches and a thimble of marijuana and it's funny how sleep comes all on it's own.
-David Sedaris
:rollin

Oh yes I can relate. Closet drinker I am. I have read a lot of what cynthia has posted but I havent taken that survey. One thing I do know tho after being here for 3 weeks. That is 22 days without beer!!!!!!!!!!! wow I honestly dont think I have done that in years. YEARS! Anyway...what I do know after my 3 weeks here, that I am an alkie. I am one of those very controlled, well maintaining, fun alkies....but I'm an alkie. Don't get sloppy, dont passout, dont get DUI'S (lucky), but I'm an alkie. I'm not one of those drinkers that it changes my personality much after drinking, as much as it changes me inside. I know I was using alcohol to self medicate the pain I guess that was happening inside basically from my crappie marriage. I think...who knows. Anyway....doesnt matter the excuse. Few evenings went by with out drinking. It was just part of my evening. But it got where I would plan the kids activities, get them there, arrange a ride back and go home and start in. Planing, planing, planing, not drinking around the activities....but activities around the drinking. Anyway....I have more clarity now after these 3 weeks. That is I need a lot more 3 week'es of no drinking and absoultly need to learn moderation only, or nothing. There is just no need to have my tolerence up so high that I can out drink you in beer. Jane....do you have a crown for that one? whoo hoo or was that you in charge of the crown's?.....bumper stickers?....I get mixed up : )
But ya....I think most anyone would be shocked if I admitted a drinking problem. Shoot, I think I have only admitted it to myself. But pretty much I think everyone just thinks I am Miss Nice. Heck...I AM Miss Nice. (I thought it was mean to ask the people why arent they just takin topa if their slippin, kinda like this...."Just take the damn topa and shutup").
Am I harsh yet???????? KIDDIN...KIDDIN...KIDDIN.
I have to go. I get myself all distracted and off the subject. I forgot what I was talkin about up there and I dont have time to go back. Laundry buzzer. Maybe what I really need is that last thing you mentioned in the thimble. That otta do it huh?
Big Happy Day for me.....Begining of my 3rd week of clarity and AF! smiles gabby

Geeze, anyone that understands my post must be nuts.
I forgot to wish everyone a
HUGE WONDERFUL REGULAR DAY! appy
(WITHOUT ALCOHOL PREFERABLY)

Dierdre,
Congrats on the Day 28 to all! I'm on Day 10 of abs and have been feeling great after working with mods for a few weeks. Day 8 and 9 were rough but I do have topa and I take some, just not all of the time, sorry Gabby:rolleyes . Alot of it is the massive diet change as well because I'm following a strict sugar free diet which I'll post below! That is also causing some cravings but I'm NOT caving!!! So far, I'm 10 days in and down 6 pounds and the sugar/carb cravings are supposed to dissipate within 2 weeks..so I'm four days away from that magic bullet, and it's usually 3 weeks in before I see results from a diet so I'm waiting for that too...okay, sharing the diet list now...and max 50 carbs a day from this list...

Vegetables: asparagus, broccoli, cauliflower, eggplant, parsley, squash, avocado, brussel sprouts, celery, green pepper, peas, tomatoes, green beans, yellow beans, cabbage corn, okra, potatoes, beets, carrots, cucumber, onion, radishes, greens: beet, collard, kale, lettuce, mustard, spinach & turnip

Meats: beef, duck, eggs, quail, chicken, fish, oyster, rabbit, clam, tuna, turkey, crab, shrimp, goose, pheasant, lobster, cornish hen, lamb, pork, veal

Dairy: milk, butter, cream, plain yogurt; cheeses must be well heated and eaten hot (i.e. lasagne) * * * Listen... don't ABUSE dairy just because it's on the list. Don't drink milk by the glassful... this just means you can have cream in your coffee, or you can bake with it, or enjoy a sugarfree custard once in a while.

Beverages: milk, water, herb teas, tomato juice, decaf coffee, V8, diet pop with no fruit juice or caffeine

Nuts, seeds, oils: almonds, pecans, walnuts, butter, brazil nuts, pumpkin seeds, oils (almond, avocado, corn, linseed, olive, sesame, safflower, sunflower, canola, soy), cashews, sesame seeds., filberts, sunflower seeds.

Whole grains; must be eaten hot: brown rice, barley, buckwheat, wheat, rye, oats, millet

Misc: NutriSweet*, Equal*, NutriSweet Jello, rice cakes, sesame rice crackers, triscuits, Shredded Wheat, raw unpasteurized apple cider vinegar (available at health food stores), Stevia **

* Artificial sweeteners are allowed on the program but you may object to using them if you read about the dangers.

If cooked and eaten hot: leftovers, mushrooms, vinegar-containing foods, cheese well melted, bread well toasted

** About Stevia - there is a product called Sweetvia... it is the pure extract so there are no undesirable additives such as maltodextrin that dilute the taste, quality, and health characteristics of the product. You can read about it and order it at /www.sweevia.com/shop/buy.php3. I have not tried this product. I can buy pure concentrated powder and that's what my recipes are based on.


Forbidden Foods

Anything sweet (sugar, honey, molasses, maple syrup, corn syrup, dextrose, sorbitol, Splenda), alcoholic beverages, buttermilk, cheeses, coffee & tea, cold cereal (read label), cottage cheese, crackers, dried & candied fruits, flour enriched with vitamins from yeast, fruit & fruit juices (except lemon or lime juice; only 1 gm per tablespoon), leftovers, malt products, mushrooms, packaged & processed foods, peanuts, pistachios, pretzels, processed & smoked meats, sorbitol, sprouts, sweet potatoes & yams, vinegar-containing foods (catsup, mustard, mayonnaise, salad dressings, pickles), vitamins/minerals from yeast source (read label), yeast, yeast breads & pastries

:rolleyes

Morning All!

I haven't had a chance to do the survey as of yet, but I am sure I will find myself in there somewhere. Cynthia, thanks for all of your research postings! They are so helpful in understanding all of this! I have printed them and added them to my files!

Deirdre, I hear your frustration about the shame surrounding problem drinking and alcoholism! It really is too bad. If not for the shame, so many more people would seek help!

Gabby, I must be nuts...NO big surprise there...because I did understand your post! LOL!

I hope anyone who is having a hard time takes comfort in the support they will surly find here! I know I must sound like a broken record, but really guys, this isn't a race! It is about looking at where you have been, and where you want to go, and setting your goals! Once you have set them, you have to keep reminding yourselves of them, time, and time, again!!! Heck, use those little post-it notes. Plaster them all over the place if you have to! Anything to keep your goals in the front of your minds! I swear, I say mine in my sleep!!! LOL!

I know it's not a "cure all", but really, it helps to be reminded of where you want to end up, at days end, when the going gets tough. And then, you have all these tools and these boards to fall back on once you have reminded yourselves just where it was you were going in the first place!

Keep up the good fight All!!

Donna

I haven't been posting, or even reading posts much, this month - just here drinking and feeling more and more depressed. Of course it has to stop and I am renewing my committment to abs as of 7/1 (but you have heard that before - only the dates change.)

I have been reading the research info on the site and, while it is depressing, I hope to incorporate it into a plan for myself. Like Diedre, I appear to be a THIQ according to the survey - I sure wish there was more info there on what to do about it... I am also a closet drinker, over the years my husband (who drinks much less than I do) has taken the heat from family as he is militant about his right to drink. I don't think he has much idea of how much I drink, no one really does.

I know my initial descent into this hell occurred after my daughter's Jr High friend shot herself in the head and the entire group of her peers (including my family) went through years of misery. Now, while my children have moved on, I seem to be the one still stuck - after over 15 years! How crazy is that???

I also know that I have what appears to be a great life - I am retired (more time to drink), have wonderful young grandchildren, travel and have artistic interests. But privately I continue to be everyone's caretaker, obsess about every problem and beat myself up on a regular basis for about everything. Guess I am stuck in a rut of my own making, but I am trying to get out and I appreciate the support I find at MYO and the fact that my story is like many of yours.

Not sure why I am posting this today, guess something in today's posts resonated with me. I have not posted my story, when I start it, I feel it is too self-indulgent (like drinking isn't). I think I will force myself to get out the the house today and maybe even start a painting project I have been putting off.

'Morning y'all,

Day 22 out of 23 here. And sure, Deirdre, I guess we can say a total of 3 weeks abs. Why the h*ll not? :p

Hey? Count me in to join you grumpy cancers until my mood improves... Uhmmm... Does that mean I'll have a case of "the crabs" until then??? Uhmmmm... Pass the pennicillin please?

Gabby, I'm nuts just like Donna... Ya make sense to me, chickie!

cv, CONGRATS on day 10, girl! How's it feel? I gotta admit, you keep me in awe. Going abs AND that crazy hard diet all at once? I mean, I understand the logic/science behind it but... OUCH! Overall, I eat very healthy but a side effect to abs is a sugar craving, naturally... And we all know sugar feeds booze cravings. I'm TRYING not to give in, but that d*mned chocolate CALLS to me these days... grrr. OK now, which is it Dr. CV?... L-glut or Chromium Picolinate that squelches sugar cravings? Enquiring minds want to know!!!

Donna, I love to read your posts when you talk about this NOT being a race and setting our own personal goals... You really help put things into perspective. You told me that the day I "slipped", "hiccupped", "burped", "farted", "my *ss fell off" or whatever we're calling it today. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you 'cuz you really helped me that day. You ALL did!!!

HAPPY (or itchy crabbies) NOT HUNGOVER WEDNESDAY Y'ALL!

Well, here goes day 3....no AC at work, which is disgusting!!! It is about 80degrees in here, will be 95 or so outside soon........GRR! I have a fn bowing directly on me and my hair (which is pretty short, but I can't stand it on my neck!) all pulled up in a rubber band...........but I intend to stay AF today, will work out and took supps that I have

Any feedback on the hypno would be great, was going to wait to order tapes, but finished 2nd half of book last night and see it is recommended to have everying in order before starting the whole program or it may not work?? Did I understand correctly?? Still don't have topa or all supps....I am kinda "white knuckling it" at this point, but determined not to drink!

thanks for your help!

Mary Anne:P

Hello all......
Sounds like CV may need to move on down here on the farm with me for so many whole foods!! We do eat alot of the things she list.....just wish the blackberry wine was on that list!! I never knew how much sugar that contained until I started helping to make it!:rolleyes
Thanks for all the info, CV.

I love my cds. The clearing number 2 is my favorite now. Something about lying in my big bath tub, listening to James talk about( living) water flowing from my head to toe and washing out all the negative stuff.

Gotta go help hubby cut down blackberry bushes...yeah!!!they're all gone until next year!
Have a good one.

Nancy & Belle

Kris,

I am glad that you told us your story! I am sure it was not an easy thing for you to do, and it is not in the least bit self indulgent! I can't imagine how you feel. The loss of such a young life, in such a tragic manner, is a true sorrow, and one I fear you will never have an answer to. I don't think you can put a time limit on grief, or how one deals with the pain associated with it.

I know we are here to help you in whatever way you need! Please keep coming back, even on the days when you feel the lowest. Perhaps those are days we can be of the most help to you, and you to us! I so wish I could take your pain away!

Hey, getting out of the house and starting a painting job you have been putting off is definitely a step in the right direction! Go for it!

All my best!

Donna