Day 29

Good Day Surfers!!

WOW!! Day 29!!!

Only 1 day left til ...til... til...
July. Hmmm, I know, kind of anti-climactic.
Well, not for those of you who have completed your 30 days and are embarking on a mods program. Are any of you planning that? If so, you might want to skip my angry post and just have a nice day!! ol


I like your strong opinion Kim! And I'll fan the flames by saying that alcohol in any amount is toxic. It kills cells... and not just in parts that we hear about...brain, liver, heart... but all over the body... so I believe that it's a poison. Maybe I wouldn't care so much if I hadn't already consumed so damn much of it! I guess for a while, sometimes a long while, the benefits we think we're getting from it seem to outweigh the negative aspects. Then by the time we see the scales tipping the other way, the addiction has already taken hold. Luckily we've found help getting on top of it.

This is the hardest thing I've ever done, because drinking became so much a part of me somehow. The fact that I don't drink now is a huge shift in my identity. When I compare it to quitting smoking, which I did 3 years ago, I think, well first of all, smoking has become kind of taboo (here in the US), and drinking still has an image of being a healthy social activity. And more than that, people who don't drink are... I don't know, suspect or something, whereas non smokers are considered normal. Two poisons with two completely different images. We even have MD's telling us, through the utterly irresponsible mainstream media, that wine is healthy b/c of the antioxidants (which are in the grape, not the alcohol, duh!) just like they used to tell us that cigarettes are good because they soothe your throat. Unfortunately, it takes a long time for the mainstream media to catch up with good science.

Anyway, I was trying to point out the irony that drinking & smoking are both toxic killers, and addictive substances, but they're viewed as differently as night & day. And that may be part of the reason why I never thought twice about quitting smoking (after I was through the transitional period of withdrawal. etc), but because drinking is almost expected of us in social situations, it's harder not to think about it, even in just anticipating potential scenarios where alcohol is present. When was the last time someone offered you a cigarette (sorry - US again)? When was the last time you felt you should have a ready excuse as to why you declined to smoke? Again, back to the shame. But it keeps us thinking about alcohol, keeps our minds chained to it even more to have to deal with the social aspects of it, and the hiding our problem, because in some cases, we are and will be punished if we're forthcoming about it.

Sorry but I am getting more & more enraged about all of this... I'm just so glad that i don't have to rely on any news media or doctors to get my information, That is a huge advantage that we have,,, the internet! We can do our own research, find other's opinions that actually make sense, and make our own decisions regarding treatment.

Kris, I hope you're hanging in there. You're in my thoughts!
You too Phil!

Love you all!

Deirdre :P

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail. *
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Good Morning.
Great post Deidre.It may be tough love but I think if any of us are honest with ourselves we must understand that alcohol is toxic;especially for those of us here who have already had problems with it.
The problem is that it is so prevalent in our society. I have a best friend who gave up alcohol ten years ago and said she just doesn't go anywhere where she will be tempted. In my part of the country I'd have to lock myself in a closet.Everything seems to be linked to drinking....cocktail parties, barbecues,restaurants....I feel like I'm walking through a minefield.
To be honest though,I must admit that it is me who has fashioned my life around alcoholic events and people who consume it.So besides giving up alcohol I have to change so much of my social life.I have tried to be "strong" and just not drink at drinking events or with friends who drink but I can't. I guess my friend is right.You have to design your life around a non-drinking environment if you are not going to drink.
Deidre and all, you have been so wonderful this month.wish I had been more abstinent this month but there is always July. I just loaded up on supps(I'm going to make my first all-one shake this morning. I'll let you know how it is) I finally found kudzo and got some gaba as well. Do you all take all the supps???? Was I the only one winging it because I wanted to use up the old vitamins.
Are we going to surf into July or is another event planned.Whatever is planned count me in as I couldn't do this alone.
See ya all later
Janet

Good morning all
Well this has been an enlightening month...hasn't it? Lots of infomation to read and digest.
Lots of falling down and getting up !
The amino acid studies have really gotten my attention. I've known the sugar connection for awhile...and suffered depression and mood swings...just didn't have very much "what to do about it "info. Sugar is in everthing...even my sliced turkey!:( And bread and mayo!)
Since I live on a farm and garden alot, maybe I can work on the "food" plan some. And eat my blackberries raw!!!
I was very disappointed that my old shrink MD wouldn't even look at the MWO info... He's fired!! I will continue to look for a MD that thinks nutrition and not just drugs.
Yes De , I agree, alcohol is poison. I'm very concerned that our wine making is getting out of control and my children and grandchildren will have some of the same problems.
I had a talk with hubby to introduce concerns about sugar and the way it affects our brain. He doesn't think HE has a problem . Maybe if I approach it from the sugar amino point of view, he will be less defensive. He will take supps that I hand him and I mixed amino powder in his oj this morning. He hates to take pills ....calls them "drugs". I've used precription anti-depressents for over ten years and he is not supportive of my "drug" taking. He is very proud that he doesn't take any pills. He however does drink wine or beer everyday, maybe skipping Sunday sometimes. He may not drink huge amounts but will skip lunch and start drinking beer early afternoon. By dinner time his speech is slowed and right after dinner he goes to sleep on sofa until 9-10 and then wakes up to go to bed and then isn't able to get back into deep sleep. Gets up about 4am and goes to work or reads on NY times.
OK....take a deep breath.....
I can only change me. I can't go on drinking and live.
Thanks for the gut-check...vent time....
I come here everyday and find understanding and support. Thanks guys.
July will be another run at abs here.
Nancy:d

Well all, MUCH congrats on your Day 29! Hooray for me, I'm on the Day 11! You are all right about your posts and your rants. If you like, I can probably put some recipes which use stevia and splenda not sugar in the recipe section. I can't use splenda right now because it's made from sugar, but it is the best tasting substitute that you can bake with on a one to one basis.

You are all wonderful and I have to say, some guys don't need their diapers changed, hence the couple that come on here and actually post, bless them. It's probably much different peer pressure in their court socially then ours but heaven knows, ours is tough enough! But, we have the knowledge and the power and the capability and we can keep doing this so you guys all have a great 29 and an even better 30 and go forth into whatever you choose as I keep plugging towards my first 30 goal!

Cynthia:d

Hi there Nancy, Diedre, Cynthia and everyone:D

I agree that alcohol is definitely a poison, and it destroys our heart muscle, gi tract, all the blood vessels in our body!! Not to mention the brain & liver, but is so hard to stay away from.......I am on day 4 and can't wait to start the cds and topa.........have been on supps as you all know, but they are not quieting my addicted brain!!!!:( I admire anymone who has more than 4 days, can't seem to get past this, as Friday comes and my hubby id tying one on, as he has every night this week! GRRRR!>:

I had 9 months before, don't know if I mentioned that....it was w/ AA.....and I was MISERABLE!! I think it was the hypoglycemia Cynthia was talking about in general discussion. ANYWAY, I hope this is more fulfilling......I like emailing vs talking in front of a room with even 4 or 5 prople init, so it is working already!!

Enough babbling for npw!

Happy day 29 to all
Mary Anne :d

so happy to be here and reading your posts. wow is already the 29th? hope we are doing this for july. i'm in let' see jane i'm 27 out of 29 and counting. and alcohol is poison to the system and so is the thinking that goes along with it. hope you all have a beautiful day.
Kimber

This was actually yesterday's post, which I forgot to post...don't want to waste it! (I'll write a bit more later about the alcohol/toxic discussion--and I TOTALLY agree, it's toxic and poisonous at ANY amount.....) I was in a minor accident so I'm recuperating...more about THAT later too!

Okay, so this was yesterday...
Hey All!
I've given up trying to catch up on the posts, but know that I'm here for y'all--what a terrific bunch of folks! My interfaith conference was terrific and has kept me busy and exhausted for the last week--hence my few posts here. Again, I thank everyone for reminding me that we all have bad days and that we CAN pick ourselves up and get on with it! All the support was greatly appreciated....

And I can totally identify with the secret drinking--during my past 10 year "relapse" (after 11 years sober), I drank "normally" in front of people... it was when I was by myself that I just couldn't stop...but my tolerance was so incredibly high that I could drink 2 or 3 (sometimes 4) bottles of wine a day (on some days with a pint of vodka) without anyone really knowing! I drank all the time, maintaining a blood alcohol level that actually only felt normal, not drunk at all. Of course, I DID get suicidally depressed, and was even hospitalized for depression, but I never realized that that was due to all the alcohol. Boy, for a smart person I can be pretty stupid! Actually, I think it was denial that the alcohol was CAUSING the depression/anxiety/panic because I just did not WANT to quite drinking again!

The good news? Now that I have stopped drinking my depression and anxiety have disappeared...and I haven't had a panic attack in weeks! It CAN be done, it CAN be done!
Have a great day, all you lovely peeps!
best susan

Hey y'all,

Just checking in real quick. Day 23 out of 24 here. I really like this "new math"... right Kimber? NO failure... just progress. And this IS progress. I can't remember ever having a "slip" and going right back on the wagon the very next day... EVER!

Thanks for being here. You inspire me... Each and everyone of you!

HAPPY NOT HUNGOVER THURSDAY YA'LL!

Good on y'all that have made it so far.
I will be there someday.
Phil

Phil - and all of us who are struggling - let's join the club and try really hard to make July our month. OK - starting on a holiday weekend may not be easy, but who are we kidding, none of this is easy. I have read all the research, opposing opinions and theories and it just makes me feel worse. Is it a disease (but how did I get it only after a death and related depression?), is it genetic (but drinking really isn't a family problem?) is it a lack of will power (perhaps, but I am generally exceptionally strong willed?) Is it hopeless, a lifetime problem... I can't take it all in or figure it out.

I am thinking that no matter what your theory, it comes down to the will not to drink - each day, each time we want to reach for that reassurance. I do think the supps - CDs or meditation -and the rest are very important supports but it comes down to the will to do it and that is where I have been lacking. So I am planning to muster the will to do this in July - and with your support - and the support of those who have done it, I believe we can do it together.