Day 6

Hello Surfers!

Welcome to Tuesday Abs!

Congrats to all of you for doing a superb job! ol

Yesterday a lot of you brought out many questions and fears and uncertainty about just how the heck to do this. I want to remind you all that you ARE doing it, slips and blips and all! Like Donna said, we're all works in progress. So let's take a deep breath and try to be more patient with ourselves.

A lot of us are wondering why their thoughts of drinking are so strong and ceaseless. I don' t know the answer to that. But I do know that accepting the fact that we will have these thoughts can lighten their impact. AND remember they are just that - thoughts. they are not actions, and they can not become actions until you choose to make them so.

Remember, the difference between Absing and Abusng is U!
U meaning your power of choice.

I hope someday to completely trust my ability to make the choice that is right for me, no matter what I FEEL like doing. I think of how I make choices on other areas in my life - doing things I REALLY don't want to do - going to a job I really don't care for (to put it mildly) is the last thing i WANT to do. I do it to avoid the consequences of NOT going.

I try to apply that rational thinking when the thought of drinking enters my mind. It's not easy, because I'm so used to drowning my sorrows at the end of a hard day, but I'm re and re and re thinking those tempting thoughts every time they occur, because I know I don't like the consequences of drinking. Just like I wouldn't like the consequences of not going to work, i.e.not having any income.

I have to train myself to believe that alcohol is not the place to go anymore for relief. Why? Because it is deadly. I sure wish it wasn't! But the truth is that the Johnny Walker label on the bottle in the store tuns into a skull & crossbones when *I* bring it home.

Even those who are moderating have the same lessons to face in not using alcohol in the same way they used to. It's the same struggle as abs, but with a lot more grey area. Our old friend can be cut off, or we can re-negotiate the relationship in order to save it. Right now I choose to cut him off indefinitely. it's easier for me this way.

Sorry if I seem a little edgy today, that bastard PMS has his bastard claws in me. At least keeping track of my cycle helps me identify PMS for what it is, and therefore I understand that it will pass in a few days. Otherwise I might just think I'm having some unusually strong and angry feelings about drinking and this boat we're all in. It's such an uncomfortable feeling when you think your brain is betraying you. So back to making the choice that i know is right, not necessarily the choice that will make me feel "good" at the moment.

Have a great day all!

Deirdre

Hello

Sorry I haven't been checking in every day but I've just looked back over the posts for this abs and I am really encouraged by the brutal honesty of our collective progress. Not one of us finds it easy. I just had dinner out and for the first time in years the waitress took our wine glasses away and I had water. This is day 21 and the longer I go the more insistent is that little voice saying "go on, you've come this far. Treat yourself,you deserve it" A huge thankyou to all of you. Even though I don't know you well nor you , me, I just thought about what it was I was trying to achieve and how disappointed I would be if I gave in.

Having a clear head and feeling good about my decisions is sooo much better than the guilt and shame. And even if life takes a turn you weren't expecting it doesn't mean you can never take control of that wheel again right Marcie?
Alison

Hi all, just checking in. I was away over the week-end and could not get to a computer. It was great to read that someone else is having the same problem with the cd's, I was beginning to think they were a waste of time and did not use them over the week-end. Now I am going to give them another chance. Hope I can stay awake!!

Good Morning All,

Nothing like some powerful words to steady a wavering surfboard. Thanks Deirdre!! You are so correct, we do have choices here, and the power of choice is just that, "very powerful"!

I am off for a walk with my dog and then back here for some power cleaning before my son arrives home early from his last final of the year. The hectic days of summer are upon us. I cannot wait to get my camper out and head for the woods!
My husband on the other hand much prefers hopping on a sailboat and racing. How we ever ended up together is still beyond me! LOL!

Alison,

Good for you on 21 days and for turning those wine glasses in for water goblets! That little voice is a strong bugger isn't it? But you are so right, even if it does win once in a while, there is nothing stopping us from taking control again!

Rustop,

Good for you for giving another go at the cds. I sure hope those suggestions help and that you have more success this time around!

Have a GREAT day all! Check in often for support! That is what we are for!

Donna

wow, so this is what it can feel like. yeah, i know, it is only day 2 for me, but damn it feels good.
hope y'all have a great tuesday.
love and peace,
phil

Good morning al,
It has been a challenging few days for me. I had a slip and drank this past weekend. Hubby and I had an awful fight last night. I checked email this morning and he sent me a very touching message.

I'm determined to be a better person now and commit myself to being abs for the rest of this month.

Marcie

Made it through last nite but it was a white-knuckled time for a bit.

Good Work Everyone!
Yeah, I know what you mean about being disappointed if I don't do this, Alison. Every time the thought of having "just a little" crosses my mind I remember what would follow...one after another after another...and then that awful feeling of worthlessness and a feeling of despair--and often panic--about what my life was turning into. Glad I'm here today!

Thanks, Deirdre for reminding us that we have choices...I'm all about the Choices! And today I choose not to have a drink. Marcie, I applaud your determination...but don't think that because you had a slip that you have to be a "better" person. All of us are good people who just need to make better choices!

Thanks, everyone, for choosing to be here--
hugs, susan

Since I blew it at the end of the month, it is day 2 for me. Yesterday it actually felt good to be able to show some control. I even got out into the garden and wrestled a wayward wisteria into shape.

I saw a post on the general site about Rational.com. It is about abs and he would probably include this site in his distaste for recovery groups, but I found the description of the addictive voice and our ability to just say no very reinforcing. Much of it is what Diedre was posting. Might be worth looking into.

So hope everyone has a good day - and perhaps instead of saying one day at a time - I will begin to say I don't drink anymore.

Just checking in--all is well here.

Lori you are not cheating using Anatbuse--I commend you for making that big leap!

Kim

Theme song for the day:

Turnin' Pages
Peter Wolf