day 8

I've gotta admit, I've been in a bit of a wierd "head space" all day... I got an EZ, I didn't quite understand...:\

I responded, but haven't gotten a reply... I guess we can't be everything to everyone ... all the time...

as much as we'd like to try. :rolleyes :\

So be it... I could elaborate, but...NA !



On a lighter note, I hope I haven't stepped on any toes with my sense of humor..., or straight forward communicating skills/lack of...:o If I have.. I sincerely apologize.:o


Mistakes are human, and everyone makes them. There's nothing shameful about it. Perhaps we learned that mistakes would cost us acceptance & approval. Looking good became everything because looking bad had such a terrible price tag. But looking good isn't the same as being good or even the same as feeling good.
We know our poor judgment in the past has taught us to set healthier bounderies. Probably no life experience is more profitable than learning from our mistakes. In accepting our mistakes, we accept ourselves. I will look at my mistakes with both compassion and honesty.

Good Morning all,

What am I doing up so early you say? Well looked at the clock w/o my glasses could of swore the darn thing said 8:15 really thought it was also cause I could hear my son playing playstation out in the loft. I get up, say good morning, let dog out, make my coffee.....turn on computer and find out it is ONLY 6:15 AM! Well once I am up forget about falling back to sleep for me! Oh well :eek !

Hey Judie, my toes look and feel just fine! Well I could use a pedicure but that has nothing to do with youol ! I think you are doing an awsome job! I love your thought for the day; very thought provoking....

Tawny...you poor thing! Are you sure your okay?ol ! Did you just forget once 4:00 rolled around or were you busy somewhere? Sorry it's just that I don't know that you have had an AF day for quite some time. Good for you! My AF days are planned but then again so are my drinking days:eek !

Day 6 of my plan which will AF....not much going on around here today! I will see what the kids want to do here at a more decent hour:rollin !

Have a great day everyone!
~Tammie

Hey Judie,

I think that you are doing a great job. Your daily meditations and your sense of humor make a darn good combination in my eyes. As James would say, I think you do "verrrrrry nicely"!

Sorry you're up so early, Tammie!:x :x :x Yuck! Hope you wake up and enjoy your day! You'll certainly have more of it to enjoyol !!!

I'm just having coffee now. Been abstinent for a couple of days, and now that the frenzy of activity is over, getting back in touch with some of the feelings that have been making me want to drink...the biggest anxiety over my daughter's growing up--her attitude that she knows it all and that I am dumber than a rock. I did realize the other day (which I wouldn't have if I were drinking) that I have fears that she is like her dad. All pie in the sky, big dreams, but not at all practical, like doing something like finding a real job. I can cope with the anxiety and feelings of helplessness better without the booze, but still doesn't make me feel better--at least not yet.

I think that for me part of my true growth will be having the faith that if I leave the door open, by not filling it up with booze, I will find solutions and new ways of being that will allow me to deal with my feelings, even though I will initially have to deal with discomfort. Of course, my therapy brain knows this, but on a feeling level--it's a matter of faith.

Not a very upbeat post, but that's my post!! The upbeat part is that I didn't drink, but I felt like it!!!

Love to all!
Kathy

Oh dear.

OK I will stick to my plan as much as poss. and do the positives coz there have been quite a few, but I have to have a whinge too if that is OK.

On the positive front. I got the cutest set of emails from my husband today. One about the new car he has bought for us (well, he says "us" but really it is such a boy's toy!!!). One about the new friends he has made and the last that is totally censored. Then, against all my inclinations I made a wholesome meal for son and I tonight. I also, finally, managed to post off the documents to our solicitors in Australia about the sale of some property and instead of taking a taxi, walked 20 minutes to the post office.

But ... I haven't done the cd's today. It is because I have been coughing just about all day. Not gut coughing, but asthma type coughing. The wind has changed direction and the pollution is coming in from mainland China, I think. I just can't lie down and the asthma meds hype me up too much to relax. Such a bummer. So I opened that bottle of wine staring at me in the fridge ... a depressant, right?

Maybe I can get some relief from this constant coughing.

Deleted by admin

And I just wanted to add ... I have upped my topa to 75 mg today, day 12 into it as I haven't been having any side effects.

Hey there everyone!

I'm up today!! Yeah! I had a bad couple of days. Stomach bad that is. AF which is good. I did my hypno last night and visulized myself up and healthy and structured/organized this summer with my kids on some sort of schudule rather than running around wreckless and useless. I let the maid service go sor the summer cause if I can't get them to help me clean the house I must really be pathetic....Right???

I told them last night to help clean or no dinner. My teenagers got busy and helped til it was all done. My 8 and 7 yr olds decided they didn't need dinner so just sat. When my bf got there I said to my older two..."Ok...get your shoes...we're going to Chili's for dinner." WOW :eek Did my little ones get UPSET!!!! "We would have cleaned up if we'd have known...blah, blah, blah....." I had to remind them that the older two didn't know and they STILL helped. It was a test....The little ones had to stay home with BF. Do you think that was mean?? I get so tired of doing everything and having them EXPECT so much. I just want to say..."Just go play in the dirt like I did when I was little!!" jeez.....

Kathy...I understand completely what you're talking about. It seems I go round and round with feelings coming out when I'm sober that I would rather numb with a few drinks and just need to deal with. anyway...

I plan to stay AF for the rest of the week and maybe longer. The CD's really work wonder's for me. I love them. My BF bought the smoking set and has cut from 1 pack a day to 2 cigarettes a day in just two days. And he's smoked for 20 years...since age 13.

Well...since I have know idea who Paisley is...I won't even touch that...:eek

Hope

Geez Paisley anything you'd like to contribute here?
I think it's obvious from your post you're a "Touch" obsessed, with someone elses' life... Do you have one of your own?

This is a place for support and strength, if there's something we can help you with we will try... But by attacking someone on a thread and being blatently rude...(like I just was ...apologize...but , I'm human too), is not a good way to go about it .

If we can help, we will try. But no one is going to do this for you . And this is not a playground for the inept!

Tammie...was it really your son you heard playing playstation at 6:15??? My kids always do that...they get up WAY too early when they don't have to and don't want to get up when it's a school day!! I hate that!

Judie...You've never stepped on my toes!! I love reading your meditations! Thanks and keep them coming!

Hope

Hope,

That is too funny! My son is 11 and yes on school days I start waking him up at 6:30 just to have to pull him out at 7:00. But on weekends(vacation) he would be awake by 5:30 or 6:00am. Now my 13 year old daughter just might come rolling out of bed around 10:00am if we are luckyol ! Welcome to Summer Vacation!!!:rollin

~Tammie