Now What?!

[Arial]

Hi Red,

Time and time again we've all proved that drink doesn't help - only makes situations worse, so tempting as it seems to get blotto/hide/escape - all that we've used alcohol for in the past - please try not to! Sounds like there's a lot of talking to be done between you and your husband before you can make any decisions, and it will be so much better if you have a clear head. We're always here, so come back when you need!

Good luck
Arial

[jane jane]

Red! What a nightmare! But...there's a reason she's his "ex," right? And a reason he chose you? Don't give up yet, keep communication calm and open, and for goodness' sake, DON'T show him your weakness by getting sozzled! You need a clear head for this crisis, girl! This is war! Best of luck, and I pray ol' Romeo sees that his ex isn't all that great after all! (What kind of tramp would slip around and meet him, knowing he was married to another?)

[Starlight Impress Forever]

No way, Red........he isn`t in love with her as in the here and now.........he`s in love with her as she was when they first got together, when it was all special and romantic and new..........silly fool that he is!!!
And........sorry, but, I do think he is one heartless b****** for saying such a thing to HIS NOW WIFE.......a couple of lessons in tact and diplomacy would serve him well.

Don`t drink over this.......no man or woman is worth doing so over!!!

Chin up and.........love yourself loads!!!!

Darling x

[Doggygirl]

Hi Red. You've already gotten great advice about NOT drinking, and also about figuring out what YOU want to do in addition to understanding what your husband has in mind. I just wanted to post to say I think I understand how very much this hurts, and it's also potentially a HUGE upset to the rhythm of your life - who wants to go there??? Completely sucks. Been there - and at a drinking time in my life when I DID turn to AL in a big way. Let me tell you, AL will NOT help you at all with a solution to this problem. Not one time or 100 times with AL.

Nothing in life is so bad that drinking won't make it worse.

I hope you can find a way to sort this out while sober. I really do believe that will produce the best outcome possible.


DG

[Lila]

Red
OOOOhhh awful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Too awful!
I would go to a doctor, I would. Was that Cindi's advice? I totally agree. Sometimes it is hard to stay strong, I know I know.
You take care of yourself! The best care you can.

Lila

[Rosey]

Hang in there. After I found out my ex husband had a pregnant girlfried I too turned back to alcohol and didnt stop for seven years. By that time I was advancing in my alcoholism and weighed 100# more. Although it numbed my pain at the time.... it didnt solve anything. You are going to have to feel it eventually. I do understand, this really sucks. Stay sober if you can. I feel for you....hang in there.

[Accountable for Me]

Ouch! Why isn't he with her then? Is she married again as well? What is holding them apart although there seems to be feelings there?

You deserve better than letting his horse shit take you down by sending you to the bottle. So many of us have gone through similar situations and now look at us. It isn't worth it, hun.

I would take the high road, be calm and demand some answers. I am not going to suggest you chop his nuts off because that would be irrational and something I would do.

Be strong. Love yourself enough to demand respect and honesty, and then go from there.

[louise]

Good grief! What a jerk. He tells you this right before you go on vacation! Why did he get divorced? As everyone else has said, drinking won't help. A counselor might.

[Carmac]

Hi,

Sorry to hear this is happening to you and agree with all the other posters EXCEPT N. They have offered great advice which I will not repeat. You need to worry about you right now and you can't take care of you or make decisions for yourself with alcohol making them for you.

Stay strong and yes, talk to him at length about what he is thinking, feeling, wants to proceed, where you play in his life now, etc. This is a time for some deep, deep honesty between you....without interference from others including AL.

Best of luck, Erin

[marbella]

Hi

I really feel for you right now, and hope you have managed to stay away from effin Al- when you have one person in your life treating you badly why invite another one in?

This also sounds like it could be a stupid comment made in a mad moment tho'- not making excuses for him, but stay calm and try to get to the bottom of it? Al won't allow you to do that.