cry for help

[dessislava]

Hi all,

I am not regular on the boards. I just need some advice. How come, after 7 month of complete abstinence I am drinking again! Not like before....just tell mi why is that possible after such a long time?

[one2many]

Hi there dess,

To be honest, i think that AL creeps back up on us very slowly.We tend to think ahhh just one will be fine...but it is never just one or just one night....slinks back in and makes us forget why we gave up in the first place.
It is possible for somebody who has abstained for 20 years to start drinking again!
But you can pick yourself up from this blip and start again, if you managed 7 months AF, you can do it again!
Also, there are a great many people here who are in the same boat as you, come here and talk, get support and you will be surprised at how much it helps.
Stay strong for tomorrow is another day!
Take care,
L xxx

[dessislava]

Thank you for the kind words. I am so strong, but ... there is always a “but” I have got a new, fantastic new job and...

[Beck]

Hi Dess,

I don't know why it happens either, but it does happen. The good news is that you are not drinking as you once did and you have abstained for 7 months. You know what to do to get yourself out before you spiral. I would add that you should join the daily abs thread and/or boozebusters (both under goals/monthly absitainence) for 30 days. Checking in often with a group helps a lot of people stay on track.

Be well,

[one2many]

Focus on the good things you have, like your new job...if you went back to drinking to excess, how would this affect it? You surely don't want to risk this great new opportunity?

Take it ODAT hon, little baby steps..and make sure you come on her like Beck says...honestly, when you have friends behind you on a daily basis, it makes all the difference.

We are here for you!

[dessislava]

I have always been very aware of myself. I am very much like my avatar. Finding it difficult to share with other people. I do appear to be confident, beautiful and happy... inside, o God!

[Beck]

Dess,

I have shared things here I could never have done otherwise - we all get to be anonymous. It helps. I know how tough it is to go around with your insides and outsides not matching. I was happy, successful, mom, wife and yet I drank myself to oblivion often. most people didn't know what I was doing b/c it just didn't register that I could be in trouble. Just my 2 cents...

[one2many]

I am the same as Beck...laughing on the outside, everyone thinking I am really funny, outgoing etc, but when I am on my own with a drink..thats when the real me comes out...depressed, insecure, no confidence etc.
I have also shared things here too, things I would never tell another soul, least of all my family, it really does help to offload and to be honest you will meet at lot of people who feel exactly the same as you do.

[DeeBee]

I was just thinking how beautiful your avatar is .... pick yourself up Dessislava, you've done it before you can do it again!

[dessislava]

Beck and One2, I would like to be able to share, there is this stigma that will always be whit me. I am from Eastern Europe, and although I have an incredibly successful carrier in UK for the last 20 years, I still regard myself as a second class citizen (how silly, I know)!