A deathwish??

[gelgit]

All the kudzu, subliminal CDs, vitamins and high hopes won't help me if I don't find some joy in living. My slipped disc is back in place and getting better every day. The pain seems to be mostly in my heart... A friend slipped me a medicinal brownie and that put me away for 2 days. Then, we overdosed on poppytea and THAT nearly killed me . My stomach/gallbladder is still givng me painful cramps. So, I turned to vodka to finish up what was left of my sanity. Now, I have nothing but deep dark depression and no more stamina to drink it to sleep.
So, here I am again, whining away. What's wrong with me?? Why do I drink?? Where's God?? What's my purpose on this planet?? g.

[Captnjack]

Dear G

1) Nothing wrong with you just a human
2) you drink because you feel pain and emptiness maybe???
3)God maybe in your heart close your eyes and take a look
4)Purpose on this planet is to be you nothin else.
5)I can so relate to your post thanks a death wish though aint the answer stay safe and look after youreself you are so worth it
hugs and love
Captn

[greeneyes]

Whoa, OK... How about a therapist? Perhaps find a church you like? Read Noelle's Thought Of The Day on general board. I think most of us drink because of a brain chemistry issue. Many success stories are here. I don't know how to help you in a crisis time other than that. I hope to be a success story some day. Right now I just offer my hand and the little advice that I have. And by the way, I wonder what my purpose in life is as well. But drinking is certainly not going to help me find it. Put it down and put on your big girl pants and jump back on the horsey and ride.

[southernbelle47]

Gelgit
I hear your pain. Please come down to "What we believe" and talk to me.
LOve,
Nancy

[Suzanna]

Gelgit, I feel for you, love. You have depression, and that is treatable and you will find joy in living again. Have you been treated for that before? There was a post under holistic healing about depression and some things that you could try from the health food store, Sami-e and fish oil, st. John's wart, or you may want to go talk to your doctor and get some relief. Do your homework on the different types of medicine available. Your body has been through some trauma and that can lead to feeling depressed for a short while, but I do not know you or your history that well. I am glad your disc is back in place, now take some step to help yourself in this endeavor toward feeling better, one is no more vodka, it is a false friend! I am fighting the blues in my life right now too. I extend love and support, please pm me anytime.

[gelgit]

I love you Captjack! I took a couple of L-gabas, some vitamin C and calcium and reread the entire crisis forum. I am feeling calmer and appreciate the caring advice and smiley toes too. My head hurts too much to do any riding today, but there's always tomorrow. Dear southernbelle, where is "what we believe"

Thank you're the best!!

[gelgit]

Thanks, Suzanna. I know, I am depressed. I have tried everything and spent a fortune on therapists. I even have a wonderful guru, but not very much faith in human nature. When I get over this bout, 2-3 days, I'll be better. I sure don't like myself very much right now. Goit to stopp thinking about everything awful going on in this world and listen to the Capt. xxxxxxxxx

[Captnjack]

I love you too as does every one here youre post was so honest and beautiful look after yourself
cap

[Thankful]

Gelgit, glad to hear that you are feeling a little better.

Remember that

All the kudzu, subliminal CDs, vitamins and high hopes

are just tools that we use to help us get healthier. None of them have any magic to make life's hassales and problems disappear. These tools work when we abstain from the AL and other stimulants. I know about back problems, believe me. I have such chonic pain in my lower back sometimes that it's hard for me to even take a deep breath without it causing too much pressure. The problem won't heal with drinking and medicinal brownies. It just makes it worse. But you already know this. So don't let yourself even consider those options in the future. You deserve to be healthy and happy.

Please stick to the program, especially the high hopes. We are here for you, hun.

Love, Me

[gelgit]

I've been looking for "magic". I want one little pill that will make it all go away. Listen to me, I sound like I'm 4 years old!! Thanks, again and again. I won't stray away from here cause I really do think that there is a bit of "magic" flying through the ethers from you to me and I am looking foward to sending some of my own back to you....just not today