help

[Amethyst26]

My nightly wine drinking is getting out of control. This Sat I had a family party (cousin's graduation) which I was dreading to go to so drank couple of glasses to get thru it. Once got there kept drinking wine, then beer. Left the party early due to getting into an arguement with my stepdad b/c I as drinking in front of my brother who has a drug prob (even though alot of people in the party were drinking) He told me something mean when I was about to blow out candles for a cake they bought me cuz it was my b-day on June 5th. (The party was not for me, it was just a gesture) Anyway, I Ended up driving my daughter's friend home drunk and embaressing her by my slurring and smoking in the car. my daughter got upset with me and called her dad to pick her up at like 12am(we're divorced for 10 year) Am sure she told him the whole story. Then ,I had a barbeque on Sunday and of course drank again to get the edge off from the prior days happenings. This makes me feel like shit. I have always been a good mom and am hard working single parent. never drive drunk with her. But I guess my family just gets to me, I don't know what to do but I am leaving on mediteranian 12 day cruise on June 25th and I am scared my drinking will get out of control there too. I feel awful because I don't want my daughter to see me as a drunk...or her friend. Alot of that night is a blur which is scary too. I HAVE TO STOP DRINKING! I HATE WHAT It is doing to my life,,.but my life is so empty and lonely,,,it had become a part of who i am. please help me, Am sick of this

[jessie]

Hi A,
Dolphin's right, and sometimes we have to hit a bad patch (embarrassing kids, being caught redhanded drinking wine direct from a hidden bottle in the garage by a shocked kid,(me)not remembering the night before etc) See it as signs that enough is enough.
Good luck and enjoy that cruise because it sound as if you deserve it.
Jessie

[Amethyst26]

Thanks dolphin, I appreciate ur reply. I guess your right, I have to focus on the now and the cruise. But I ALSO have to learn from my mistakes. I want to go AF this week and really stick to it this time. I am going to use the glutamine and campral I have and STICK with it, thanks and I am going to apoligize again to my daughter tomorrow when my head is in a better place.

[Doggygirl]

Amethyst - I'm sorry to hear about your weekend. The only thing to do now is focus on how to move forward and get to a more positive place.

I see your green blob - Would you like to meet in chat? I'm not real experienced at chat but am willing to try if that might help. Maybe Dolphin and jessie can come too...

DG

[greeneyes]

Amethyst, what is done is done. I another apology will make you feel better that is good. Try not to dwell on it and move forward with a plan. I've never been on a cruise so I don't know what to say about that.Perhaps put yourself on a budget? The more you drink, the less you have to spend shopping at ports.

[KBCE]

Greeneyes is right - you can't change what is done. Focus on the future. I was a big wino (will always be I guess) and in order to be held responsible for my actions, I actually declared in front of my husband and kids what I was doing - going AF for one month (or more). It has worked for 6 days. I know it doesn' t sound like much, but every day AF for me is a step in the right direction. You can do this. Also, on your cruise there will be loads of temptations to drink BUT there are a million activities to fill yourself up on and lot sof cool AF drinks! You will have so much fun and although it doesn't sound like it could be true, being AF while doing it makes it even better! You won't have to do all those activities hungover! Good luck and you can do this!!!

[Amethyst26]

Thanks all. Am so glad I found this site! I am here for anyone as well and will offer whatever help/advise, I can.

Hugs and on with AF!

[Doggygirl]

We're glad you found us too Amethyst. WE CAN GET FREE!

DG
*******************

[bestlifeldms]

Amethyst,

This is my birthstone, too! I would use the cruise as the kick off to your new AF lifestyle. A good time to detox and get some exercise, while you have time.

I can only tell you that I struggled for many years with this problem and that life without alcohol is sooooooooooo much better. A joy to live!

Hugs and support,

Best

[FloridaBoy]

had a barbeque on Sunday and of course drank again to get the edge off from the prior days happenings.

That is the evil cycle. Then you feel bad..get more AL..etc. Good luck with the rest of June.