how freakin stupid

[poohbear]

I guess Im just reaching out for help even tho I feel like I shouldn't cuz I haven't been on here in like forever. I do feel like I have tried everything and just keep going back. I went through rehab in April and stayed sober for almost 2 months. Here it is my anniversary and I had to go and drink. I just don't understand why or what drives me to do it. I just know that today of all days I should NOT be drinking - so why did I do it??? Will I eventually go to my grave with this question going around and around in my mind. When is it going to stop? How is it going to stop?

I guess if we had the answers to these questions we would be famous and rich huh?

anyway thanks for listening

hugs,

poohbear

[Preciouspinot]

Big hug to you Poohbear. Lets look at the positives shall we? You drank and then, you came back here and posted! You have not given up and are still searching and growing. You are still in the fight...so to speak.. We all have our ups and downs. The key is to keep pushing forward.

We have all been there, done that and bought the t-shirt. It gets better.

[Preciouspinot]

You were testing the waters by the way. Making sure you were not "missing out" or "depriving yourself". Believe me I know the whole....draw a line in the sand and then cross it.

[Accountable for Me]

I did the same thing last weekend, poohbear. I have NO idea as to why I did drink. I guess I needed the reminder I wasn't missing out on anything.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. Tomorrow is a new day. As PP has said, look at the positives.

[poohbear]

thank you precious for your reply. It took me some courage to come here and post even tho I don't know why, if I could go anywhere it would be here. I just wish someone could convince my husband just how very much I do fight this damn thing - but then again I suppose that is my job. Thank you again for your prompt reply it does mean alot to me

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Poohbear,

Just go back to living life clean and sober, don't worry too much about why you dabbled in the old days, we all do it from time to time. It serves no purpose, other than messing with our heads!

Luvya,


Myheart

[aplgrl]

Poohbear,
I did something equally as dumb this weekend. After being sober for 8 days I didn't take my meds on the morning my family was due home from a week long trip. When the bewitching hour was upon me I happily surrendered. While I didn't get 'drunk' I could see the disappointment is my husbands expression that nothing had changed. I know things have changed and I have had two more sober days since then.

It may seem unfair, but I think after all the times we have hurt the ones we love most, it will take them the longest to truly forgive us. In the meantime, forgive yourself. Make tomorrow an AF day. - aplgrl

[Evie.Lou]

Poohbear.....Call it an alcoholic brain fart....Eyes straight ahead,no far looking back

[bestlifeldms]

Ahhh yes! Our dear sweet Evie does have a way with words! God bless her for puttin it out there, plain and simiple! We love ya, Evie!