The long and winding road

[Gumby]

Well it has been a while for me, and although I have made some great improvements in my life....I still need help. I guess Im looking for that positive support that so many of you have!! I have been drinking regularly, every night. I don't get all stupid like I use to but I can't seem to go a night without it. It is really starting to piss me off. 4 to 5 beers nightly. Why...I don't know. That is what is so annoying. That little voice in my head that by 8 PM is not so little..... it is screaming. So any words will help. I am trying to focus on ODAT...so for today...ODAT. Peace

[petpeeve]

Hi Gumby, I can certainly hear what you are saying....i did a couple days af to start with last week but then started with a few, albeit just a few at night. HAve you ordered the supps? I find that the L-Glut and Kudzu really help with the cravings, although i have to admit that i intentionally did not take them this weekend and i am mad at myself now. It is a new week, this holiday is over so lets try to start fresh and see how we do, i would like to shoot to be good this week, have a graduation party on Saturday and plan to not be stupid at it!!!

[Gumby]

ya know...I was taking the supplements, but I am not so convinced that is what helps. I guess I feel that each time I have attempted to be AF it was sheer determination. It is just my opinion, not to mention they upset my stomach. I still have some and I have thought I will give them another chance, but I truly believe it comes from really wanting something..... I am reaching that point again.
I used to drink wine and I never thought I could quit. Well I did. But now it is beer. So you see I haven't really quit...I just did an exchange. I will say I was a lot more"drunk" on wine then the beer. I get a little buzz so that is why I can't figure out why I seem to not be able to convince myself to quit. Fear of the sobriety I guess. I don't know is it physical? is it mental? am I mental? Yeah!!! OK I will stop at the risk of exposing my inner mind war.
Thanks for your kind words...this is the one thing that I know helped me in the past, having a family of sorts to turn to when your own family can't really fathom what you are going thru. :-)

[cuckoosnest83]

Hi Gumby, wish I had some words of wisdom to share but I'm in the same boat as you. I go a few days AF and then drink every night. Then I'll swear I won't drink that night but like you the voice in my head starts screaming. The only thing I can say is to keep on trying. I have achieved more AF days being on this site for 8 months than I have in 16 years so to me that in itself is an accomplishment but I really would like to go AF for good. I wish you and Pet all the best as we each struggle with this demon in our own personal battle.

[petpeeve]

Yes, it seems like the 3 of us, and i am sure many others are in the same boat .......for me it is wine as well, but white wine....i am not a real strong person so it takes me alot to really accomplish something, I, like cuckoo have done soooo much better since being on this site, the supps don't upset my stomach and i don't honestly think it is a mind game they are playing with me, for me they just seem to work.....the past week, or couple weeks for me have been pretty crappy, i guess part has to do with kids growing up and really not feeling like they need you for everything they used to, i have to get my mind set back into ME and take care of me first since they are pretty self-sufficient at this point......lets just take it ODAT and see how we do this week.......

[cuckoosnest83]

I'm with you Pet. ODAT and back on the topa. I think I'll pick up some L-glut too. Here's to us achieving our goal, one day at a time.

[glass Kat]

Wow, you guys are just where I am also. I've managed to cut back a lot, but only 1 or 2 days AF here and there. I am afraid, but not sure what of? maybe those nightmare demons that the AL quiets down. Here I am day 1 and determined. I wish us all luck, peacefuness, and strenght. Kat

[Gumby]

well I haven't tried the Topa.....I am afraid of the side effects. I am good at excuses though....argh!!I will resume the Kudzu that did seem to help..I think, such a skeptic...... but like I said another try can't hurt,need to get some more L-Glut also. I have been doing the all -n- one for a while and take large doses of Vit B. That does seem to help, but I am looking for the "easy way out".....doesn't work that way I know better. It seems I get use to letting myself down so much....... then it piles high and grow tired of my excuses, failures and lack of strength..... and I find myself back to the place that has helped in the past. Thanks....

[cuckoosnest83]

Originally Posted by Gumby

It seems I get use to letting myself down so much....... then it piles high and grow tired of my excuses, failures and lack of strength......

Gumby you expressed my feelings perfectly. Each time I swear it will be different and it never is. What is so frustrating is that now I don't even enjoy it and I still can't seem to beat it. I will continue to try until I succeed.

Cuckoo

[cuckoosnest83]

Kat, I'm with you, day 1 and determined.