Need help

[savon19]

I wonder if you should try another anti-depressant. There are many out there! If Effexor somehow doesn't help with your being AF, you should ask your Dr.

Just a thought, but hang in there!

[Gyco]

only time i thnk i agree with athelete,its cost free,lots of advice,or somthin he forgot,in my delema,i was admitted ti a sanitarium,and in there it really started to make sense,the words and lines jumped out at me,and i wasnt on depressents either,that my freind is where your gonna end up,not scare u ,and you dont want that,always go to chat ,i no i did a few times and just had some fun and answered my self, mt sound odd but it was entetaining hahahhah good luck gyco

[Gyco]

forgot the big book

[Amethyst26]

To Nurse in Distress I am a nurse too. Somehow just for today I found the resolve to abstain,,..might be the shit night I had last night, though that usually hasn't stopped me before. I also mentioned something too my mom about needing to go to some type of group cuz i was feeling depressed anxious and alone in the house during the nights lately and she surprisingly said she had been meaning to talk to me about it. She apprently noticed I was out of it last Saturday night when she came by unexpectedly and i had been drinking and had had an argument with my daughter. She knows of my probs and struggles with depression and being a single mom for 10 years and alone. But it embaressed me that she may have noticed I was drunk. I can't come clean to her about just how much i have been drinking cuz she will use it agianst me later. She has enough experience with addiction since my brother has an ongoing 10 year battle with drugs. But still...I guess it's a pride thing. An "i can take care of myself thing" I so want to be a good mom and my mom was not the greatest mom to me and not someone i want my kid to be around too much. SO this should be my motivation to stop, but it's the ole....I can handle it voice which always screws me.
Anyway, I am going to talk with my dr about antabuse. I brought out my supply of campral i bought online months ago and think it and my resolve did something for me today, (*if it is placebo effect i don't care) Also i started up on the l-glut i got off that river pharmacy again. So i feel more in control. I just hope this lasts...i want to go af. no time limit. as long as i can. maybe a month or 2. i don't want to be in this hell anymore. i am thinking of perhaps going to AA even if its just to get myself jump started. Thanks for all your support

Please pray for me. I am going to dig into a good book tonight and know tomorrow will be a better, more productive day

[CS04]

Amethyst,
I understain the pain you feel. We all do. There aer a number of us who are going to do AF for August. I mentioned trying another 30 days on the 1-30 htread, and Lukalee started a thread as well. Why don't you join us, and we will all be there together? Before I have been scared, but for some reason I don't feel (as) scared this time.

Also, take the meds if they help you- but check with dr before mixing. Esp with AD.s you could some serious complications.

I know you want to make better choices - we all do. Good for you for Day 1!

xoxo
CS

[magic]

Hi Amethyst26,

If you're nursing AND a single mom I'd say you have every reason to be tired, stressed out and anxious. They are both tough jobs on their own let alone combined.

I think though that you realize that unless you get your drinking under control that you're going to have neither. Please ask for some help.

Ah, 'tis hard being the nurse, isn't it? Asking for help. I know. Always caring for others, and doing a damn fine job of it too but, then, we forget about ourselves. Until we're in a muddle.

I spent 30 days in a rehab clinic, 500 miles away from my children, and let others take care of me for a bit. Leaving my children was SO very hard but I really, at that point, had no other choice.

I learned to take care of ME FIRST as well and I've been sober ever since.

I think it's the 12 step programs that say.. "at all costs" and I think that it's true.
Because eventually you'll get to the point that without your sobriety -you'll have nothing.

I agree with the others, start with your Family Doctor.

But for tonight..let me tuck you in, open your window and get the light.

magic xxxx

CS~ I'm glad you're less afraid

[A Work in Progress]

she may have noticed I was drunk

That says so much to me (and I am sure to many others here)... about our capacity to fool ourselves into thinking that we are fooling anybody else when we are getting drunk and supposedly "functioning," or even (as we sometimes say) "high functioning" ...

Best wishes, sounds as if you are really starting to make a plan with good elements... whatever it takes... AA can be a big help, both when you are in a jam, and also for long-term face-to-face support. Not everyone in AA groups is a "Big Book Thumper" (no offense intended to any Thumpers out there... just that it tends to grate on my nerves... )

wip

[want_to_be_sober]

Originally Posted by Amethyst26

I will make this brief since it is 8:26am and I have had no sleep thanks to drinking last night and then sleeping for 2 hours and waking up. I am thinking of Rehab and or counseling for alcohol dependence. This is really getting out of control and affecting my job. The prob is I have a 12 year old daughter and a job...(which I will lose if this continues) ...i can't just go off to detox,... I haven't taken Topa cuz I tried it years ago for other reasons and think it made me nuts. I haven't stopped drinking for more that one or 2 days in a row in the past year...so campral won't work I dont know what to do.I have tried hypno, accupuncture, yoga , meditation (not lately)...my self esteem is crap. I look like shit. Where the hell is my willpower and resolve? I feel like i am possessed and ME is gone. Replaced by this robot. I don't know what to do. I am drinking 4 to 5 glasses of wine per night,. Every night I trick myself into having one and then of course the cycle begins. I am afraid I can't stop. I think my antidepressant effexor is actually making me crave alcohol ( i have read that they do this) but if i stop taking that i can't function. I know i need to make some serious lifestyle changes. I am very unhappy and confused as to what the hell i am doing. I am afraid if this continues I am going to damage my mental health even moreso than it already is. I am really hating life right now,

A

Hello amethyst. Just stopped by to say that I feel exactly what you described above. Thinking of you. best of wishes. xxx

[Nurseindistress]

Hi Amethyst--

Just wondered how you are doing. I had some wine last night, and some tonight, so my goal is to join the group that is going to stop for August. Are you planning on trying that? Since I started coming here the longest I have ever gone is 5 days--and that was a one time thing, and now I can't seem to even get close to that. But, I am determined to join this August group, and hope you will too. My supplements have been shipped, so I'm hoping that will help. How have things been going with you and are you going to try for a AF August?

[skempy]

Hi Amethyst,
I haven't been on here in so long! I went AF from 9/19/06 until Thanksgiving that year. Then I was fairly moderate for a good while. But then, THEN...well, you know, old habits and so forth. So I started Topa again on my own last year and was at first moderate and began abstaining from time to time and it was so much easier. But I was on a lower dose of the Topa than before and even at that it was making me crazy, so I stopped again. Well, guess what? I'm an addict so I'm back in an old pattern of anywhere from 3 to 6 glasses of wine (and I'm not talking 4 oz.!) each and every night. I feel your pain. Maybe together, and with the help of MWO we'll work it out. I'm on Effexor, too. Didn't mean to hijack your thread, I just hope we can all help one another.