not sure my last post posted

[Amethyst26]

How does one get rid of that empty feeling when wine has been your friend everynight for years? I myself am divorced for 10 years...suffer from anxeity and depression and take meds for it. As night falls I feel very lonely....after a long string of failed relationships and only a 12 year old daughter who is basically in her own world and a couple of dogs to come home to. I find wine has been a comfort to me. one I try to moderate but have difficulty letting go of. I am not trying to go on Violin mode here or feel sorry for myself, it is but honeslty it is difficult. I try to find comfort in the gym and other activities but I think the wine has become more of a pyshological addiction that anything else. I don't feel ready to let it go. I guess I just need to realize what it does to my vitality and work performance the next day and let it go...,or at lesat have 2 glasses. But 2 turns to 3 and then I go thru the same ritual...body aches, fuzzy thinking and depression the next day. How do u guys cope? any advice would be helpful

Thanks\\

Am

[Cinders]

Amethyst,



Yes, the psychological part is really much more difficult than the physical. They physical addiction goes away within a week or two.

Then we are left with the, now whats..

There are lots of coping skills. I agree with your thought. Stay busy, find something completely different to do. Make a big change in the nightly routine.

Have you read the MWO book?

I would do that as Step 1, if you can. It can be downloaded for very little money, about the cost of a good bottle of wine.

Glad you are here and I hope you can find your way out.

Cindi

[livingfree]

Amethyst - I don't want to discourage you from changing this habit - but honestly ... until you desire with all your heart to stop - only then will you! I think I didn't stop before Jan 08 because deep down inside of me ... I didn't want to! It's hard enough when you want to ... so maybe you just aren't ready. It's ok to admit that.

As far as the lonely nights - try reconnecting with your darling daughter. 12 is very young to be home without much contact with mom. She may not act like it - but I'll bet if you engaged her - she would love spending time with you. Might take a bit if you haven't been - but with a little effort - you'll be surprised at what she has to offer your evenings.

Your in good hands here no matter what you decide ... post and read away. It really does help.

[Amethyst26]

Thanks...you're right. I do need to reconnect with her. Get her away from the phone and the computer and get out of my own damn head and the vicious cycle. As for not being ready...I wanted to try AF b/c I have become a slave to the nightly wine drinking ...but I guess I have to want it BAD enough.

[Gia]

Amethyst - I know exactly what you mean. I have never had any physical side effects from abstaining, but it's always on my mind. I love my red wine, and had it everynight for years. Yesterday was an AF day for me and I still thought about it, I had to keep myself busy. I bathed my daughter and watched her play in the tub, and then turned in early. I'm very happy I didn't have any AL in the house, as it was really nice to wake up this morning knowing I conquered one day.. Livingfree has great advice, reconnecting with your 12 year old will help. She probably has lots to talk about. I'm going through a divorce now and it's not easy in anyway, and wine does seem the immediate response. But like you 1 or 2 glasses leads me to the end of the bottle and then I'm even more depressed. Have faith in yourself and work at it everyday, you're very much worth the battle.

[OneTooMany]

Amethyst ... I can totally relate. Before I met my fiancee, it was just me and my 9 yo daughter. I felt the same way you do. I'm wondering if your daughter has her own coping mechanisms and left you alone while you were drinking? Perhaps now would be a good time, especially during the witching hour, to take her out somewhere and reconnect. Go walk around the mall, take her to a movie, rent movies and sit and watch them with her -- anything that will help the two of you to reconnect again. 12 is such a fun age, but it can be a bit rough too. Maybe now is the time to just sit and have conversations with her. Find out what is going on in her life. Just some suggestions here. I know my daughter had her coping mechanisms while I was drinking and she was lonely too. Also, I'm on meds for depression and anxiety. I do know that I feel much better now that I'm not drinking. The meds are actually beginning to help me. I hope some of this helps. If you would like, PM me. I'd be more than happy to talk.