Nothing can be worth feeling this awful

[Hammer_OTG]

I am coming down from a long hard binge. I've really spun out of control and feel absolutely terrible on so many levels. The sad fact is the only thing that takes the edge off is another drink. I just need to get through today without one, not easy. I am really disgusted with myself, so sick of me destroying myself which is exactly what I've been doing. I've had a chronic pain in my side that won't go away and I need a new life.

[MDC]

Dear Hammer,
We all have our ups and downs....I have been struggling as well...yesterday after work threw out all of the vodka bottles at current residence and the new home....I am so discusted...but now have a good start...and am trying to keep up a positive attitude. why dont you join me in this journey. we can do it!

[Laurav]

Hi Hammer,
Sorry to hear you are feeling so down. I have been there too. As you know more AL is not the answer but you are the one in control. You have taken the first step in coming here.
Hi MDC,
Good job in cleaning house! I did that when i got started and it does make a big difference if AL is not hanging around.
Hang on, the ride will bet better.

[MDC]

Thanks Laura

[nancy]

I know the feeling of a wanting a drink to take the edge off but that's the worst thing you could do. The best thing for you to do is to take each day, one day at a time, starting with that bad hangover day. Imagine how much better you would feel if you had a week with no booze?

Try it!

[LVT25]

Hammer--

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. You can have a new life. Sometimes we just can't do it on our own. Do you have an MD you can talk to? I'm no expert, but I've read that it can be dangerous for some to just quit drinking cold turkey. I do think it takes more than just willpower. Start today by drinking lots of water.
Keep checking here, someone else will be able to give you more advice.

[ohmaggiemae]

Had a slight binge myself last night. On alcohol and food. I've been struggling with bulimia for about 30 years now and have also recently admitted to myself that I'm an alcoholic, too. Learned recently that one usually goes with the other. I'm in pain today. Hungover and stomach really hurts. Mentally and physically I'm exhausted. So sick of this behavior. Don't know how or where to get help. So ashamed and embarrassed. Husband doesn't really know how bad it is. Would love to do one of those "glamorous" rehab retreats in California or Belize. Insurance doesn't cover enough, though, and how could my husband take care of our two preschoolers by himself? How will I ever get better? I feel so discouraged.

[MDC]

Im relatively new to this program. purchased all of the vitamins and my Docotor was cool about the topomax. I struggled with the first week and a half thinking i could just cut back...but found myself just waiting longer in the evening to indulge in a vodka frenzy before retiring. that made me discusted enough to rid the houses of all booze and im gonna try just quitting. I have now been AF for 36 hours and am at the office equiped with my pills and the topomax. so far feel good. anyone want to let me know what I am infor..please do so...I understand the topomax can prevent sezures

[MDC]

MaggieMae, I just wanted to lend some support to you because I have felt just like you describe. We must find hope in ourselves and keep chattin on this sight. It is a great source of support. A big hug from me to you...

[ohmaggiemae]

I was on it for about 4 months for my eating disorder. At first it was great! With the exception of feeling a bit spacey, I loved having no desire to drink or binge and purge. I thought it was the miracle drug I'd been dreaming of! AND I lost about 12 pounds, which I loved! Eventually I couldn't stand the mood swings. It started to make me very angry and aggressive. I HAD to go off it. I even threatened to divorce my wonderful husband at one point, and I yelled at my kids a lot. Crazy!

Sucks, because it really helped at first. I googled topamax and found a bunch of posts by people who had similar side effects from it. I hope you don't experience these. I would suggest you stay on it and see what happens.

Good luck.