Poured alcohol down the toilet

[time4change]

I had to do it finally. I have no idea if I will actually stop drinking. It has gotten to the point where I am terrified of this addiction and terrified of myself. I do not feel I have any control anymore. I am really scared but I really want to stop. I had 3 bottles of beer left of a 6-pack and they are now gone. I thought in my head it would symbolize my desire to stop and somehow help me quit to just pour them down the toilet.

My life has just become one big "When can I have my next drink?" I have 2 amazing children that I don't feel I deserve, I don't know how they are so amazing with an alcoholic for a mother. I feel myself losing my temper with them and they do not deserve a drunk for a mom so I have to stop this.

Like many stories on here, none of my friends, even my husband, knows how much I drink. Even I probably don't know, I mean, if I really kept track of it all, it would probably sicken me. I just have to stop this and I'm so scared I can't.

Thanks for listening.

[jessie]

Welcome T4C, like you I have beautiful kids and although they know that I am an alcoholic they do not know exactly how much I drink. Which is way too much. But now I'm focusing on increasing my days AF. And slowly I'm getting there.
Draw up a plan and work towards it.
Jessie.

[DeeBee]

Welcome Time4Change,

I was horrified when I eventually added up (honestly) the number of drinks I had each evening, it was a great shock to the system.

Well done on pouring the beer down the drain, I look forward to reading more posts from you.

Dee

[Chelle12]

Well done on pouring out the beer!
In one attempt to stop, I threw out a lovely wine rack that was a Christmas pressie from my mum and my last bottle of wine... only to find myself raking around in the wheelie bin 20 minutes later to retrieve it.. covered in rubbish and stinking.
still drank it... but left the wine rack behind. Felt awful

[Seto]

Hi Time4Change
I can totally relate to you. I too have two beautiful daughters and my husband definately does not know how much I drink. I am ashamed to admit that I hide usually a bottle of wine from him so he thinks I am only consuming what we have in the fridge, normally half a bottle. This addiction is so so hard but I am still here battling on, that's got to be a positive hasn't it. I am going to order the supplements today as I have had a couple of bad days and gave in to my cravings. I am trying to stay AF tonight and see how that goes. How are you feeling now? SetoXX

[Fresh Hope]

ODAT and for this day you did the right thing, which is am improvemnt !! on days gone by...remember that a journey starts with one step. GOOD WORK!! Keep writing and reading
FH

[caysea]

Hi Time
Great that you got rid of the al.
If I told you that you are in a fight for your life what would you do?Learn about the enemy and formulate a plan.You are in a fight for your life just like me and the rest of us here.The people here are great for helping us see and learn about the enemy.It is the individual who has to figure out how he is going to fight his fight.I looked back at the things I used to enjoy in life before al and used them as weapons .I have embraced a new lifestyle and that is working for me
Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting

[bestlifeldms]

Good for you! Yep, did it a zillion times before I finally quite. I always was a slow learner! LOL! Keep it up! You have everthing to gain if you do, and everything to loose if you don't! Sending hugs and support!

Best

[Carmac]

T4C - Great job on throwing the beer away. Takes alot to do that. What a great way to start though with a positive act on your part!!!

[Seacailin]

Good 4 U-Have to start somewhere.