Looking For Advice

[Lostinthewilderness]

I could not be more scared/stressed out. I am a 51 year old male. After drinking for 35 years I am now alcohol free for the first time in my life going on 53 days. My drinking contributed to the failure of my 20 year marriage a year and a half ago. I have my own business which has suffered reverses and I now face financial ruin. Since going AF which I have done on my own with no support group, I have developed incredible insomnia. Constantly worrying/ruminating. My PCP has prescribed trazadone which I have been on for a week. At least it gives me 6 hours of unconciousness a night. I'm sluggish in the morning but it is a small price to pay as the sleep deprivation was destroying me. I have no cravings to drink as I now recognize alcohol is poison to me. My energy level remains low. I ask the more experienced, Will this pass? I thought once I stopped drinking my problems would be solved but this is obviously not the case. I desperately want to keep being a father to my 14 year old son. I survived a dissected aorta 5 years ago (at the same time as John Ritter) and feel God has a plan for me but I foolishly went back to my alcohol/party life upon recovering. Now I am broke and depressed looking at an uncetain future. Any advice for me please???

Thank you

[Cinders]

Lost,

and amazing on the 53 days. That is incredible, especially on your own.

I use Trazadone, too, only occasionally, now, though. Sleep does get better.

You are obviously dealing with a lot more than just alcohol withdrawals, worries about finances, sad over the marriage collapse, worries about family.

I do recommend that you read RJ's book. It was written for those who want to moderate but it is a wealth of information for all of us. (I cannot moderate, tried and failed way too many times.)

However, the book talks about supplements, etc, that help. At first I was skeptical but I then started taking them religiously and have found it makes a huge difference in my physical well-being. I am working on the exercise portion, now, too, and do find that those endorphins released from exercise help a lot.

Also, anytime you need support, just jump in and ask. You will find that there are many caring people here to help with any questions you might have.

Take care,
Cindi

[A Work in Progress]

Lost, it is great that you are AF and yet you still are in a lot of pain, and under a lot of pressure. I agree with Cindi that nutritional adjustments can be helpful in a lot of ways. I also think that you might want to give some very serious consideration to getting some counseling, at least short-term... I hope you have insurance that would cover it... since you are getting your Traz. from a doc, I am hoping that is the case.

And do stick around here, it is a GREAT place for support for those who are committed to getting and keeping alcohol out of their lives!

wip

[4theboyz]

Lost,

The constant worrying it seems is chewing you up bit by bit. Focus on your 14 yr old and try and find other activities to do to help take your mind off the business. Review your sleep and health issues with your PCP and see if you can add an excercise/work out to your daily routine.

After 53 AF days you should be feeling pretty chipper so your diet may be a reason you still feel sluggish as healthy food choices can make a world of difference in how you feel.

As for your business, tough call, but maybe finding a partner or selling it could relieve you of that burden and perhaps consulting or working for company in your field could bring stability to your financial situation. Even if you are successful, being your own boss is demanding and a very tough row to hoe.

Stay focused and good luck!

[Lostinthewilderness]

My friends for your input. You are quite erudite. Due to my stress level I have not been eating for the first time in my life. Actually can go all day without eating at all due to a "nervous" stomach. Ditto on failing to exercise. I will make an effort to bring these two variables which are within my control in line. Thank you again

[Jules]

Lost

I am right with you in this area. I too have insomnia since becoming AF and seems to be getting worse with time. My Dr. has been trying different sleep aids on me.

I try to go to sleep on my own but after 3 hours of tossing and turning I give up and take something. I even confessed to my Dr. yesterday that one of the reasons I drank was to sleep but I don't want to go back to that. Rather ride it out.

I hate it but I work 7 days a week on a very physical job ( think I would pass out from it ) and I need to be rested.

As for eating, I have no problems there. I have turned into a night eater. Cant ,sleep eat anything I can grab quick. That is another issue.

Therapy is starting to sound good to me now. I just want to shut my mind off at night!!

I feel for you!!! Hope we can find an answer soon!!

Julie

[Doggygirl]

Hi Lost. Welcome to MWO - this is a great place for support in your sober life. I also recommend giving the MWO book a read - even though you are already AF you might find the information about the damage we've done to our bodies with years of drinking, and the healing process to be interesting and relevant. I am about your age with about your years of experience with heavy daily drinking.

I am sorry for what you have lost in your life due to alcohol. I hope you can get on a good track to regain good health - and then make the most of the time ahead, especially with your son.

I had horrible sleep problems initially with AF. Since that is a known symptom of AL withdrawl, I just chalked it up to AF. But there are LOTS of things that can cause sleep problems. AL covers it up. In my case, after being SO frustrated and tired, I went and had all my hormones tested. (this is NOT just an issue for women - men's hormones shift too at this time of life) I'm being treated now with bio-identical hormones to bring everything back in balance. I'M SLEEPING GREAT and my energy levels during the day are returning to what I would call "normal." No chemical drugs - just natural hormones that my body no longer produces properly.

So....(someday I will learn to make a long story short!!!) I second the suggestion to see a doctor. I would recommend finding one if you don't already have one, who will search for the underlying causes of your sleep troubles rather than just dole out the sleeping pills. I realize that properly prescribed medications CAN help and DO help people. I'm just saying that longer term, I would rather address the cause of the problem if possible, than do another long term "cover up" of the problem with yet another substance that could potentially be abused. Finding the right doctor to work with is the hardest part, in my experience anyway.

CONGRATULATIONS ON 53 SOBER DAYS!!! That is not easy. The GOOD life you deserve is in front of you. Best wishes,

DG
Day 84 Alcohol and Hangover Free