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Old 03-22-2012, 06:46 PM
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Default 30 days

Today marks 30 days of sober living. It has been and continues to be a daily struggle, but the first week was the worst. I went through all the withdrawal symptoms, and my family felt that pain. I had the shakes, went without sleep, was extremely irritable, nauseous, puking etc.... This decision to quit started as a sacrifice for lent, but really was a long time coming. My wife was on the border of leaving me and I certainly would have lost my three children. If you'll listen, let me tell you my story. I started drinking at 15 years old, that was when I started sneaking out of the house at night, and me and a few friends robbed a beer distributer. Soon after we would drink at parties. At about 16 yrs old I got a fake ID and bought my own alcohol from the corner store; once I could buy for myself I started drinking every day. School nights were no exception, and 40oz malt liquors were my passion. Now I didnít come from a bad family, my parents are still together (40 something years), but as a child I think I was never allowed to explore, I could never be myself, I had no freedom, never had friends over or went to friends houses, no sports, nothing. I attribute their strict behavior to the fact that they both come from extremely dysfunctional families. My grandmother on one side has had 7 marriages, currently and alcoholic and drug user. Drug abuse, alcohol, domestic violence is common and heavy on both sides. Also at 16 me and my friends started a local gang, from then on I was always in trouble, stopped caring, was arrested several times, I robbed, people, houses, cars, ditched school and drank. Soon after I met my wife, who I am still currently married to, and pretty much moved into her house, alcohol and drugs were present there as well. I got married a week after I graduated high school, was denied by all military services except the marines because of my criminal record. So off I went to boot camp to straighten my life, and also had my first child on the way. After boot camp and all other training and being assigned to my first duty station. I regularly (every weekend) left my wife and son at home to go party and of course drink. I was deployed to Iraq in 2005 as a security force. I was shot at, bombed, lost people I knew, saw people die, blown up, arms and legs blown in different directions, shot people, and while I was gone I missed the birth of my first daughter. I returned home, and drank my problems away. My relationship with my wife was bad, I was arrested for domestic abuse and she left me. She returned a month later, but I still had not changed. I continued to put them through torture, and was a wreck. They have definitely seen me at my worst. I got out of the marines and moved back to my home town. Things got better between me and my wife and my family and we had our third child, then I graduated to a fully functioning alcoholic. I rose with whiskey in my coffee, drank from my flask or airplane bottles during the day, and concluded with large glasses of whiskey at night. I took my travelers coffee mug with whiskey to all my kids events (boy scouts, sports, school etc...) always careful to hide my breath. I have a great job, a house, cars, I am not lacking on anything. You would never know that I was drunk when you talked to me, or even thought I had a problem. But it began to toll on all those around me because I had to have my liquor, and was an asshole without it. My wife was tired of putting up with it all and was on the verge of leaving, so I have quit. I partially drank to forget, and forget I have as I have lost a significant amount of memories. The past few years being nothing but a blur. I am nothing, all I know, all I remember is drinking. I have forgotten complete events, people who know me I donít recognize, I am only 27 years old.

That is a little about me, what I can remember off the top of my head. More may come later, or not at all because I dont remember most of it.
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Old 03-22-2012, 11:49 PM
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Incredible story Mikio. Congratulations on your 30 days, it is a huge accomplishment and you are doing very well. Keep going, it will be better. It doesn't really help us escape the pain, does it. it puts us in further bondage and paralyzes any chance Of peace.

Sober is "sobering" but the only way out of the hell you were in. You can do this Mik.
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Old 03-23-2012, 12:23 AM
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Congratulations on your 30 days AF, Miklo. Thank you for sharing your story. It was very moving, and I could feel your pain coming through your words.

You have taken the awesome first step, and I am one day behind you. I am 48 to your 27, and I thank god for you that you have figured out a way to stop now.

Let's stay on this journey together. Whatever it takes.
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Old 03-23-2012, 02:27 AM
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Great story, and similar to mine. The first 30 are the hardest, and the next 60-90 will play some tricks on you, so stay strong and stay focused. You willl eventually find out that life is much better sober, and you will enjoy your new life more than you could have imagined.

As far as the memory, although my short term memory has gotten much better, there are many past events and people that are complete blanks to me still, and I don't think they are recoverable. But I get stronger and better everyday!
Keep it up, you can do it!!
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Old 03-23-2012, 05:47 PM
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Well said Miklo and congrats on getting through the WD's. I hear what you are saying abt the mem loss. I'm finding I remember all sorts of things, both good and bad at really odd times.
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Old 03-23-2012, 11:14 PM
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Congratulations, Miklo!!! Great story, and thank you for sharing it. You are on a good path, for sure!!
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Old 03-24-2012, 08:47 AM
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Miklo,

Congratulations on 30 days! Sounds like your wife and kids are very important to you and definitely a good reason to take your life back. Drinking every day and "functioning" is definitely a whole lot different than not drinking and "living".

Also - thank you for your service and for protecting all of us and our families who live in this great country! Glad you are back home and safe and hope you know how much we appreciate our soldiers!
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Old 03-24-2012, 08:56 AM
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Most excellent! There must be somethin in the water around here....there is a whole rash of 30 day grads!

You have battled through what I would consider the hardest part on the journey, keep it up


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