Facing things square on.............

[Suni]

Hi, I'm new here and a bit nervous.
To be honest I am just considering for the first time in my life that my drinking has become a problem. Though I don't drink at all during the day I am finding it harder and harder to have any drink free evenings in my week. Both my husband and I love wine, especialy reds and find ourselves opening at least one bottle every evening with dinner. The difference is that he is better at stopping than I am. I always seem to want another glass until the bottle is empty and then another is opened and hey presto - before I know it -two bottles are dead and gone. (It's about one each-but sometimes a little more for me)
I'm sure the wine is depressing me too but it's like a vicious circle.
I don't seem to suffer from withdrawals and it doesn't 'seem' to interfere with my life at large - I exercise and eat well - and if we go out for a meal for example I can stay off because I'm drining and so on - but I must have cravings no matter how subtle or I wouldn't find myself looking forward to the wine with dinner would I? Also I'm not that dumb. A bottle a day may not seem that excessive to some but it must be taking a toll on my mind or body. I sleep well until about 5 then have a couple of hours of wakefulness. I know that is due to the alcohol. Lots of our friends enjoy drinking too which doesn't help.
All advice welcome. What I want to get back in control -where I control what I drink and not the other way round. Is that possible do you think or I am fooling myself?

[JackieClaire]

and

Suni

Good safe place you've found here.

I don't know what your goals are whether it's to be totally AF (alcohol free) or try to moderate you drinking. Either way you'll find great support which ever path you choose.

On the first page there's a section called ' Monthly Moderation'. You might like to take a look in there.

Wishing you all the luck in the world.

Love Jackie xxx

AF since 7/7/2009

[Suni]

Hey Jackie,
Thanks for the tip. Maybe I am looking in he wrong place though cause when I looked at Monthly Moderation I could only see a bunch of posts by people who have resolved not to drink today. (Not that they weren't awesome posts!)
Should I have found some general stuff about how to moderate my drinking or what?

BTW I see you have been alcohol free fro over a year> great work!
I'm such a vain person that I'd like you to tell me how much better you look now and what other physical differences you've noticed in your body and mind.

[JackieClaire]

Hey Suni,

Thank you for the well done but it's actually 7th July this year. So that makes 97 days, but who's counting. (me)

Perhaps I should have pointed you in the direction of the 'Newbies Nest' it's here in the just starting out bit. I think that's where I started.

As for the physical and mental stuff have a look under the thread 'who am i' by Mackeral.

I honestly can't begin to tell you a difference dropping alcohol out of my life has made and all better.

Can I make a list and get back to you?

I'll not be long.

Love J x

[JackieClaire]

Hey Suni,

Doh brain here again.

Brain not in gear before typing.

I should have pointed you to the 'Long Term Moderators'

Jackie xxx

[Gyco]

hi suni,you are not a fool,youve recognised a problem b4 it gets way out of hand,there is a lot of reading material out there , or on the net,that would be my suggestion to you,one has to to determine for themselves if there alchoholic or not,1st 164 pages of the big book are on the net i could suggest to read that,,if you do read that,,read the next story,dr bobs nt mare,you can find this ,under AA book,plus some other material ive read,adult children of alchoholics,you never mentioned if you have the history in your family, last but not least you brot up anxiety,levels depression,theres another book i read,aniety and panic attacks,some never find the light b4 its to late,i wish you well gyco

[dancelot]

Hi, Suni, welcome!

There's lots of us here that have similar stories to yours. Keep reading, keep posting, there's tons of information here.
I intended to moderate when I came here (hated the idea of giving up wine forever), did the 30 days AF first (didn't want to), and ultimately decided AF is the way for me. After 36 years of drinking, it was just catching up to me (or, honestly, it had caught me).

Oh, yeah, I'm more vain than I let on, and I can say in all honesty, my skin looks so much better (and I always had the most fabulous skin, until the last year or so), it's nice and hydrated, the redness and blotchiness is gone, and I can stand to look in the mirror first thing in the morning. I had gotten to the point I never left the house without makeup, and I never was a makeup person. Had to paint on a healthy face, otherwise I looked either blotchy or warmed over dead. I also feel a lot better physically.

Anyway, there's lots of advice here, no one judges you and your ultimate goal is your decision. I find it helps to always be honest with yourself, aware of what motivates or triggers you to drink or drink excessively.

Best of luck with whatever you choose to do - stay close to this forum, it is a wonderful place.
Much love!

[Suni]

There's lots of us here that have similar stories to yours. Keep reading, keep posting, there's tons of information here.

Wow Dancealot, thanks for that jolt. It's good to know that MAYBE I've come in the nip of time........depends which junction I take on the crossroads? I do intend to keep posting and reading thank you and hopefully soon taking action.
The image of painting on a healthy face is a strong one and I can relate.
From what I am reading on here it seems like a very healthy online community.


Thanks Gyco,

Re my family. There has been heavy drinking on both sides though my mother and father were only social drinkers and Ma is almost teetotal, but my brother died prematurely at 56 and I think it's fair to say that heavy drinking/low esteem/poor nourishment/ played a large part in it. I've never heard of the big book but I'll give it a google thanks.

Jackie Claire,
I WANT THAT LIST!!

[RedThread12]

I can remember when I would drink three glasses of red instead of the two I planned on - and feel like poop in the morning. That was some time before drinking two bottles turned into three! UGH!

Great that you're paying attention, Suni. It's a dangerous, slippery slope if you start sliding down . . . like the AA Big Book says, we're dealing with alcohol . . . "cunning, baffling, and powerful."

Lots of good luck and good wishes for you to avoid the nasty depths that so many of us have umm . . explored. There are NO good reports from those places!

[Suni]

Red Thread,

Great that you're paying attention, Suni. It's a dangerous, slippery slope if you start sliding down . . . like the AA Big Book says, we're dealing with alcohol . . . "cunning, baffling, and powerful."

I am paying attention. I hope I'll be as good at taking action.