Finally ready to post

[Nurby]

I've been lurking and reading here for quite some time. Probably a year or so. Thought it time to make my first post, although I've been tempted to respond to others many times.

I'm 33 years of age and have been drinking all of my adult life. It started out at 15 or so and basically amounted to getting drunk on whatever I could get my hands on at parties on Saturday nights. By 16 or so I was pretty much hammered at least once a week with school friends. Once at uni at legal age (18 in Australia) it became a bit more regular. Thursday nights was always a big student night out. We'd drink quanities that amaze me to think about today.

When I was 21 or 22 and had finished studying I went to work and live overseas for about 3 years. Drinking became an almost everyday thing and in huge volumes. I was having the time of my life and I was always the "party guy". Day time, night time, didn't matter. I was here for a good time, not a long time. This was and is until very recently the only time in my life I felt the negative effects of alcohol abuse (beyond a hangover). I started getting the shakes. I knew it wasn't good and remember thinking on my 23rd birthday that I was was probably an alcoholic.

When I returned home I worked crappy jobs for a year or two before starting a real job. This period was pretty out of control too. Once I had a good job earning good money, affording to drink was never a problem. In fact I'd always made pretty decent money and always afforded it without too much drama. The huge nights out continued and the nights in between were very rarely alcohol free.

I met a woman who is probably my soul mate and who enjoyed to drink as much as me. We moved in together and the drinking continued. We'd often polish off 3 bottles of wine between us on a random week night. Much more on Friday and Saturday night. I still functioned fine and held down my job, albeit with a hangover all too often. Somewhere about 28-30 I started to recent myself for the stupid shit I'd say or do when I was drunk. I was embarressed by the fact that I had alcohol on my breath in the mornings....well up until lunchtime on weekends I'm sure. I started to loath who I'd become. Very slowly the fun started to leave what I was doing and the self pity set in.

Fast forward to the beginning of last year. I cheated on my love with a woman from work I'd known for years. This happened of course in a bar while quite drunk. I became confused as to what I wanted and left my partner of 5 years for this new fling I had found. I now lived alone again and began drinking heavier again. Each night was a couple of beers and a bottle of wine and a lot more on weekends. For the second time in my life I started to feel the physical effects. I've always exercised and stayed in ok shape, but I had become more bloated and overweight. I basically felt really terrible, so went to the doctor. I ordered a full set of blood tests. The results were not great and I had a fatty liver. My Gamma GT was 267, my ALT 200 & AST 78. i can't say I was overly surprised, but I was concerned.

I tried to slow down the drinking, did more exercise and eat better food. I can honestly say I've had a lot less alcohol in the last 12 months, but I'm miles from happy with myself. I still drink almost every day, but it seems to swell during the week. I can go Sunday or sometimes Monday with none, then a beer or 2 on Tuesday and so it grows to a few more and often a full bottle of wine will sneak in by Wednesday or Thursday night. The weekends are still often a free for all unless I have something to do early in the morning and I make a special effort to go to bed early. About a month ago I started to get a dull pain just under my right ribs. I'm pretty certain it's my liver, but did not realise it could start to cause pain like this. It's not bad pain, just a great worry to me. I am posting today because I am going back for more blood tests tomorrow morning.

So in short, drinking hasn't really destroyed my life like some of the tragic stories I've read in here, but I am very concerned about my health. To be honest, if it wasn't for my health I wouldn't be all that worried at the moment. Although a struggle I certainly am managing to moderate better than I ever have before. Sorry for the long intro, but I figure I might need some help once I get these results. Anyone who has experienced this liver pain, I'd appreciate your comments on the subject.

Thanks for listening.

[vlad]

Hi Nurby - parts of your story sound similar to mine. I picked up my bad drinking habits from my student years too, met someone who liked to drink as much as me (now my husband), once I got married we bearly drank, but as wages increased we began drinking more - I became concerned when I started getting the shakes and decided I needed to abstain for a while (50 days). Prior to starting my 50 abstaination, I began to experience other symptoms, rapid heart beat, sleeplessness, weakness and weight loss (I lost a stone in a week!). I was convinced it was to do with alcohol but on seeing my doctor was diagnosed with thyrotoxicosis. Early treatment of this meant I couldn't drink for 6 weeks anyway, but what happened after the 6 weeks? I just began drinking more than before!!! In view of my husband I drank 2-3 beers and half a litre of vodka (straight!!!) nearly every night, but also would sneak extra shots behind his back! I accepted I was alcoholic when I started craving a drink in a morning, and would take risks just so I could have a drink. I once drank all afternoon, forgetting I needed to be somewhere important in the evening and ended up driving there drunk - was told to go home once I got there because I looked in such a state! After cutting my drinking down a little I decided to abstain for another 40 days, but it was hard that time and felt myself sinking into depression after 1 week of no drink. Being quite involved with church I sought some prayer support which gave me the strength to get through. For the last 2 years I have been trying to moderate my drinking but its not been without its slip ups. I am now looking to do another 30 days AF - my plan for September. Anyway, welcome to the site, I look forward to getting to know you - have you read RJ's book yet?

[jessie]

Hi Nurby,
I started drinking at 18 and now I am 52 and I have missed out on so much life. I drink milkthistle everyday and that helped my liver a lot but my poor brain must be really suffering.
Your pain is probably your liver complaining - not too late to reverse.
What caught my eye about your post is the episode leading to you losing your love. A good friend of mine got drunk at a party and had sex with a woman he met there. His wife found out and divorced him, taking their 5 year old son with her to another province. I have never seen anyone more destroyed then he was. He was shattered and it took almost 3 years before he got over it. One dreadful, drunken mistake because of ALCOHOL. We must learn to hate the stuff.

[keke]

Oh nurby, Glad you posted. So sad that it's just the pain in your liver that brought you here. How about the pain in your soul? This program helps, especially the topa (and you can start it at any stage of alcoholism). See a doc, if you can. You are so young and have so many happy years ahead of you. Will continue to note your progress. Keke

[iAmBecoming]

Hello, and welcome. Thank you for sharing your story. Let us know how your test results are. I'm sure it's still reversible at your age.

[Seacailin]

Thank you for sharing your story. Alcohol was beginning to affect me physically too. I always had the shakes, anxiety, gastointestinal probs. Just feeling generally like crap every damn day. I also had elevated liver functions back in 2000, but they went back to normal after a period of sobriety. I'm sure that yours will be fine, as long as you don't continue damaging it. I am glad that u posted. I would never have 25 days AF if it were not for the people here. This is a Great place to be. I look forward to reading your future posts. Welcome to Life

[Nurby]

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome.

Originally Posted by keke

Oh nurby, Glad you posted. So sad that it's just the pain in your liver that brought you here. How about the pain in your soul?

I started circulating in here long before the liver pain. The soul pain is a weird one. I tend to feel terrible about myself after a big night out, go AF for a day or 2 then slowly start comsuming more until I do it again a week or 2 later. Don't get me wrong, I beat myself up good when I do, but I guess I seek self satisfaction in other parts of my life to compensate.

[Prodigal Son]

Understand that whatever happens you are still a good person Nurby.

I've had high cholesterol & fatty liver for a number of years, last year they performed a biopsy on me. I get regular liver function blood tests. I'm OK at the moment. The cholesterol lowering drug they gave me was messing up my liver more, so now I'm on a new type. Have an honest chat with your doctor would be my advice, it's best to keep an eye on it. Trust me, you will know if your liver is playing up. Thankfully they are pretty resiliant & are largely self healing.

[tlrgs]

hi there and welcome .. thank you for sharing

[Nurby]

Originally Posted by Prodigal Son

Trust me, you will know if your liver is playing up.

What do you mean by that?

Thanks again.