I should be able to do this...

[ploby]

I've never posted anything before but have been have spent a lot of time reading other people's for about 3 months, going back and forth thinking I will be OK to thinking that I really need some help. Like many other people, I started drinking in high school and continued into college and graduate school. But, I didn't drink anymore than anyone else and actually less than most of my friends. However, most of them seemed to have "outgrown" the drinking as they have begun to have careers and families while my drinking has continued and increased greatly. It is ironic because I have a wonderful husband and two girls and while we have the typical stresses over finances, etc, our life is wonderful. I have a loving and very involved extended family as well. Really, I have no reason to drink. But, my drinking has increased greatly over the last 5 years to the point where I drink a 1/2 to 1 bottle of wine a day. I still function and don't usually get to the point where I "feel drunk" and out of control b/c my tolerance is so high but I do know it is affecting me and my family in terms of my energy level and patience. I also know it's not healthy and, while I am not overweight, I weigh 10 lbs more than I would like to because of the wine. I have begun drinking during the day and "hide" my wine in a regular glass so it is not obvious to my children that I am drinking. However, they know enough to ask what I am drinking before asking if they can have a sip of something so I guess I'm not "hiding" it very well. My daughters are 6 and 9 and I really want them to have a healthy attitude about drinking before they enter their teens and young adulthood but I know that I am not being a good role model for them right now. But, I just can't seem to stop. Also, I did not mention that I am a school counselor and while I know in my heart that drinking problems do not discriminate, my head believes that I should "know better" and be able to handle this. I really think I can get to the point of moderation but I can't seem to get any AF days under my belt, even if it's just one glass of wine. I downloaded the MYO book and tried the L-glut and Kudzu sporadically but have not noticed any difference in the cravings. Do they have to build up in your system? I know there is no magic answer but any insight or support that I can get here would be very appreciated. Thank you for listening!

[one2many]

Hi Ploby,

I am on day 4 AF and really it's early days for me yet, I am not using L-Glut or Kutzu, but I have heard great things about them, others that post after me will be able to tell you more about that.

I am the same as you, a nightly drinker, 6 vodkas a night and a few more at weekends...rarly get drunk, can function quite normally even when I am up very early...so whats the problem?

For me the nightly drinking was really getting me down, altho I had not progressed into daytime drinking, I knew in my heart it was just "not right". I tried telling myself, I was not a fall down, vomit, blackout drunk..so I was alright.....but I am not.

Those drinks to me were a ritual, a habit like brushing my teeth, checking the fridge when I was going shopping to see what I needed to get and checking the level of vodka while I was there to make sure I had enough for that night.

When I found this place, I was fed up with my drinking but also somewhat curious aswell, i thought everyone here would be the typical alco, I was very wrong. People from all walks of life, all professioms and all backgrounds. I recognised myself in so many of them it was unbelievable. I started to post and found myself logging on the next day to see how so and so did or how that situation went for this person/that person. By reading the posts I found myself thinking.....Maybe 30 days AF might be achievable.....

I have made a lot of great friends here who I genuinely care for and Last weekend I just made a promise to myself that I would try, give this a go...I am sick of being a "functional drinker".......because in the end, I am not fuctioning at all...I am existing....waking each day with a fussy head and going thru the motions till it's time to sit down at 7.30pm with that beloved drink.....My Husband is suffering as I don't have time for him, I am snappy with the kids, I put things off that I really should do and the added fact I am fecking up my liver.

Alcoholic? Problem drinker? ...who cares about labels...drink was affecting my life in a negative way so now I am doing something about it and it feels great!

Sorry, I went off on a big tangent there lol...my advice to you is.....come here and post, read as much as you can, get to know the wonderful people here, lend and lean on for support because it's amazing what our little family here can achieve.

Maybe read the book again, as I said others can tell you about the supps and in the meantime, why not check out our Newbies Nest over in General Discussion?

I welcome you aboard and am glad that you are here!!

Love,

O2M

[A Work in Progress]

Ploby, it's a damn shame that being a counselor makes it harder to admit the need for help, admit we have a problem, etc. I've been there. But of course there is NO earthly reason that those who help others will not sometimes... inevitably, perhaps for some... get into trouble with alcohol. It has nothing to do with your abilities or commitment to help others. Just getting past that stumbling block is a major step. Good for you, and welcome. Stick around, read the MWO book (or re-read it if you have, already), and make a plan for yourself! You will get a lot of support and encouragement here.

wip

[ploby]

Thanks one2many. Your story sounds very familiar! And while I think I'm functioning, I too, know that I am really not. The obsessions about my wine can become overwhelming and I often make an excuse to go to the store for something else just so I can pick up a bottle of wine. I will continue to read and learn and try so hard to get that first AF day under my belt.

[one2many]

Good for you! Plobs....we are all behind you!

[ploby]

AWP, I know you are right and would readily give that same advice to anyone else in my position but it's harder to believe it for myself. I will re-read the book tonight . It was a huge step in even posting a thread as I have been visiting here for a long while. But, it's a step that I feel good about. Thank you.

[DeeBee]

Welcome Ploby,

It constantly amazes me how alike yet different so many of our stories are. I too used to hide my wine in a coffee mug when I was drinking during the day but you are right, we don't fool the kids! I am so ashamed of the lies I used to tell my daughter so that she wouldn't sip my drinks.

The program DOES work. Stick with the L-Glut and Kudzu, both have been essential tools in my way forward.

[WildAtHeart]

Hi Ploby,

welcome. I've only been on the program for 2 weeks -- but for me, with just using all the supplements and CD -- no Topa, I've experienced a huge difference in both my cravings and the amount of drinks I have. I'm typically a social drinker who gets out of hand. I don't drink at home or alone and daytime drinking has never been a real occurance with me. My triggers for drinking tend to be stress-related, and so I am finding all the supplements to be making a huge impact as they are eliminating my stress as well as reducing my cravings substantially. I'm not sure that using the supplements on and off is going to have a strong enough affect.

I am planning to follow the full supplementation recommendations (including L-Glut and GABA) for at least 6 weeks. At that point I will probably reduce to the All in One, and just continue with the Kudzu, Primrose Oil, L-Glut and GABA.

Oh, the excersize and CDs are also a good addition. I'm presently using the social drinking CD (rather than the 4 pack) and have added walking. Excersize is very good for eliminating stress.

Good luck with the program!

Cheers,
Lissa