my bio

[budd]

Hello, everyone, I just arrived here, and here is my story:

Smoked pot from age 13-around 30, heavy drinking from age 25 to now (50), as well as a cocaine period from late-20’s to mid 30’s. I quit the pot and blow on my own, and modified my drinking to weekends and changed to beer and wine after I quit the big “C”. I switched to taking (prescription) diet pills when I drank as a substitute.

I met my soon to be second wife soon after, and let her know about my past, and that I am an alcoholic. She has lived with it since then, but last year finally demanded that I quit the pills and do something about the drinking. Since that point, I have told her lies (I never did that before, I just told her that if she didn’t want to live me she didn’t have to…) about pills (although I did finally quit those) and about drinking.

I need to quit, and I have quit things before, just not EVERYTHING, and it really scares me. The current plan is marriage/substance counseling (I know a doctor who can do both at once,) SOS meetings twice a week (I am not religious), and antabuse and vivitrol.

I need to stop for good. If I don’t I will lose my wife. I also need to make up to her for all of the years I was using instead of giving to a relationship.

That’s it. I met a few of you in the “first time” thread, and I like the positive, no-judgmental atmosphere here.

[Seacailin]

Sounds like you have a good plan budd, and you sound like a strong person. I believe I replied to one of your previous posts. Stick around. It's a Great place.

[budd]

Originally Posted by Seacailin

Sounds like you have a good plan budd, and you sound like a strong person. I believe I replied to one of your previous posts. Stick around. It's a Great place.

Yes, you did, thanks for the kind words.

The only way I kept the drinking "controlled" is by knowing that I didn't have to quit. This is going to be really difficult.....

[Seacailin]

Grrrr I just posted a huge reply to you and somehow it just wiped out!!! The first five days were very difficult for me. I had to go to the hospital and get medicine to help me detox. I am on day 19 now, and I have to say that I haven't had a strong craving for about a week. One must always be "on guard" though. Trust me. I was a very sick pup. If I can do it, You Can. I find the combination of the MWO program and AA to be my lifelines. So far, so good. I look forward to reading more of your posts. For added support, you can always jump in to Live Chat. It is pretty lively in there in the evenings. We are all in different Time zones, so it is hit or miss, but don't give up. This is a journey to save your life!!!