my first step...

[cedar]

Hello to everyone here, am I glad to read such supportive and positive messages. my family tree is one that has its roots deep in the bottle. my father and brother both have died as a result of the physical effects of alcohol, aged 57 and 36 respectfully. I miss them both and hear their warnings when I look critically at myself and see so clearly how I am following directly in their footsteps.

I am 42, I drink secretly and openly, I drink at various times of the day, I drink sometimes when I am working, I have been to meetings drunk. Not drunk enough that it's noticeable, just enough for me to be animated and witty. occasionally I miscalculate my trickle of alcohol intake and find myself in a sad pathetic drunk state at home, arguing with my partner and still pretending to be sober... or having only had 'one' glass of wine !

I started drinking as a teenager and although there have been many years when I have curbed the cravings and been super healthy and fit, its always with me. when I was pregnant, I thankfully was strong and did not feel like drinking.

Wine is my downfall, most mornings I wake up thinking TODAY I will not drink... then I pop to the shop for groceries and the wine bottle is in the basket... or something upsets me, stresses me or needs celebrating....anything. Somedays I have 2 glasses, otherdays I can drink a litre, very occasionally I will not drink. I leave myself notes to make sure that I remember what I did, who I spoke to and what I said.

Well that's me, I am sure I will get to know many of you here.
I AM going to become a person that I love and respect... that person does not drink like I do

[Dolly Sunshine]

Welcome and good luck. Sounds like you are heading in the right direction.

[ducky]

Welcome Cedar,

Read the book if you haven't already. And keep posting. This is a great place.

[lorisunshine]

Cedar, to MWO.

Perhaps you can download the book and read as many posts. You have come to the right place. There is much good advise to be had here and a lot of shoulders to lean on.
Have a wonderful day.
Lori

[Cinders]

Cedar,



It sounds to me like you definitely know you have a drinking problem but have not reached a horrible state of drinking yet. Good for you for addressing it now. You can and will save yourself a lot of grief, physically, mentally and spirtually.

I agree, read the book and see how you want to approach.

Love,
Cindi

[kaddy]

welcome and good luck

[cedar]

thank you for all the messages ! i am so happy to be here and part of everyones journey... someone quoted recently saying something like "we need to be gentle on ourselves" and i read that 2 ways... (1)if i am too gentle then i go buy lots of wine, (2)if i am gentle i love myself enough to get over this .... so gentle i now take as "healthy" gentle and so now am saying " we need to be healthy gentle on ourselves" NOT EASY ............

[Tiny]

Cedar -- I have the same wine problem I am just starting too ... let me know if you need a buddy! Tiny

[Hermit]

Hi Cedar - a fellow Safrican! I just joined here today. I really empathise with you and feel the exactly the same way - especially about the wine. I always do the shopping in the late afternoon and by then all resolve has crumbled and that bottle of wine somehow finds it's way into my trolley. I am also wanting to gain some control. I really hope that things are going well for you so far - my thoughts are with you as I try to embark on the same journey as you, in the same part of the world.

too!

[Wooflet]

Hi Cedar

I'm a wino too, and I for years having been thinking "today I won't drink" in the morning, and "I'll start tomorrow" in the evening.

I'm not sure what or why, but something clicked for me about a month ago and I decided to quit, for a while at least. I came on here and read heaps, read the book, ordered the CDs and supplements, and set a date of May 1 to go AF (alcohol free). It is now May 8 and I've had a week without booze for the first time in about ten years.

I think that while the book, CDs, supps etc do help, for me the key has been that I have just decided not to drink for at least 30 days. No matter what. Full stop. So even though I have definitely had an urge to drink, it just hasn't been an option for me this past week.

Good luck and look forward to hearing more from you.

Wooflet