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Old 02-08-2010, 02:21 PM
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Last year in March my Mother who was also my best friend was killed by her boyfriend and the day before her funeral I found out my husband was cheating on me. Through all of this I was fighting a foreclosure on my home. I remember the day very clearly a few weeks after the funeral. I was driving by the liquor store and I stopped. I took that bottle home and I felt so good to have the pain dulled. So good that a few nights a weeks turned into every night of the week. I was hurt angry and basically killing myself. Even after I dealt with the pain of losing my Mother and saving my home and being overjoyed that I saved it. By then it was too late. I would try to stop drinking because I didn't have any pain that I knew of anymore but my body had already turned on me, it craved it and when I would stop drinking for more then 8 hours I would get sick (withdrawal)

Last week I took a long look at myself and I was just tired I knew I didn't want to see me turn 30 next month like this. I have a daughter to live for and a marriage that needs lots of work. I went to my Doctor and I told the truth and I cried and told more of the truth that I was hiding from everybody even myself at times. He came to my home the next morning to start the detox in private because he knew I would not agree to going to any inpatient anything because of course I thought "I'm not one of those people" *yeah right lol

The next two days were ok I was on med's to help with it. I had a nurse who watched me until Friday and over the weekend my Husband watched me. Now I've been taking campral for the cravings and reading your stories and I have a week AF today :-) I'm feeling much better.


The last 8- 10 months has truly been a blur I'm praying I never get like that again..


Thank you for letting me share :- )
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Old 02-08-2010, 03:50 PM
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Hi Fallonsmum,

It sounds as though everything you knew and relied upon was shaken to its core, and no wonder you wanted to dull the pain.

Well done on your week AF, and feeling so much better. Do you have emotional support for yourself? You've been through so much.
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“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein. AF 3, 77, 22, 24th December 2009
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Old 02-08-2010, 05:39 PM
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Dear FallonsMom.
First and foremost - congratulations of realizing that you have a problem with alcohol and for getting help. Being AF for even one day is a huge step. Please remind yourself that every single day. I have read many stories and posts here at MWO but I believe yours is the most difficult. I truly wish you the courage and strength to keep on fighting this enemy and also the other difficulties in your life. I pray that you and your husband can mend your marriage if that is what you wish. Things are always different when a child or children are involved. Take care of yourself so that you will be able to care for your loved ones the way you want to.
Be strong....
Stirly
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Old 02-08-2010, 09:45 PM
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thank u both for the well wishes and yes Gold I'm in therapy
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