So over being hungover!!

[Mia]

I'm back. Not that i ever left. Just been reading all the posts. My god how I relate to every one of them. It is 12.00 here in the middle of the day. The sun is shining, birds singing and so on. The only thing that is not singing is me. I'm still in my pj and just had a drink to cure my hangover. My head is in a mess. I gave up for 9 days a month ago. Why is it so hard to give up. No one would even know the hell i live in. Sorry just feeling lost.

[MyOwnWoman]

Dear Mia, WE here at MWO do know the hell you live in. We've been there, done that. Many here have climbed out of the hell and are able to feel and live in that sunshine you have there in Oz. Some are still crouching in corners wondering why we fear the light yet yearn for it all the same. And many, many of us are somewhere in between. I myself, have felt the light, have invited it in and relished in the joy, as perhaps you did for your 9 days, and am bewildered by the choices made to not remain there each and every day. That's what is called the journey.

This addiction, this affliction, is not a switch we turn on and off however and whenever we like. So it seems. Is it or is it not within our power of choice?

We beat the shit out of ourselves because it really comes down to personal choice. I do choose to not drink today. I did choose to drink today. We give one choice great merit and congratulate ourselves that we did not drink the life-venom. We give the other choice .... well, we give that choice, and therefore our inner self, much grief. "I had a choice, to drink or to not drink, and I chose the one that does not sustain my life, the one that postpones joy."

Here we can come and reveal and NOT feel so lost, because we can relate with living in hell.

Our journeys with the choices are all our own. Here, though, we get to share our travel logs with those who have been there. We get to see that we are not the only ones and hopefully that will lend some merit to the struggling soul within. We see admissions of perceived failure, and cries for help, and also rejoice in victories. A single day AF or a month... all are victories, and all are steps to get you further along.

what I've discovered here is the power of being able to examine my journey. Rather than taking the traditional route of sober vs. drunk, I'm examining all the steps in betweeen. I'm delving into the whys and hows of my drinking. I may be taking a hell of a lot longer to get sober than others, like those in AA, but I'm learning and healing a hell of a lot along the way and will surely be a more whole person in the end.

Point is --- give yourself some credit for being here.
One step at a time, and only you can determine what those steps are and ought to be.
And fight fight fight for your Self.

[Mia]

Thankyou M Own W. I am in hell at the moment. And i know everyone here has been where I am. It stinks this addiction. I was sober for 8 years. that was 8 years ago that is why it is sooooo hard and I feel sooo disappointed in myself. I even looked up AA meetings today on this computer and I live in a small town. I do not look the part.. small, good skin, although I have noticed a few brocken capillaries, fit and so on. But my head is in a mess. But thankyou. Today sucks!!!

[biscuit]

Mia, Welcome to the boards. Many people here know exactly how you feel. Read as much
as you can you will find out you are not alone. Help is here.

Biscuit

[jessie]

Hallo Mia, I can't add anything to what MyOwnWoman said. She said everything better then I could have. It is a journey for many alcies. I also tried the 30 days AF and slipped after 11. I have not lost hope. I did 15 days AF in May and today I am on 15 days AF for June - and I know I will not drink today. And even if I add just one more AF day to every month I know I will get there, I will get to 30, and from there on I'll keep adding. I envy everyone who managed going AF with few or no slips, but I'm just to addicted psychologically to manage that yet. Just keep going.
Love
Jessie.

[JMT]

Mia, as I know we proabaly all can I could have just written EXACTLY what you just did 6 days ago. Being AF 6 days today, I'm cautious but hopeful and at least that is one thing I still have and I know you do to...HOPE, as long as we have that and realize we HAVE a problem it's a good thing. It's when we give up HOPE and don't CARE anymore that we have to worry. Hang in there, we are all in this together!
MyOwnWOMan, WOW, you took my breath away and brought tears to my eyes. Your post was just....AMAZING so much truth and compassion in our statement, you are a TRUE inspiration and when I feel weak, I will come back and read your post time and time again. Thank you so much!

[cpn1004]

Great words MyOwnWoman, thanks for sharing.
Love and Peace,
Phil

[Cadence]

Ditto

[4theboyz]

Ouch Mia!!!

After I got a couple of months AF under my belt I felt "adventurous" and had a couple of my old "Man Sized" glasses of vodka and woke up the next day more hung over than I had ever been in the last 20 years of drinking. Seems my body can no longer process copious amounts of alcohol I used to justify as only "2 drinks" and only underscored the stupidity of my lapse of sanity. I would like to think I learned my lesson and never *ever* will do that again. Yuck!! After the way I felt that morning never ever again will be a moment too soon in my book.

Al just sucks plain and simple.

[Mia]

Thankyou everyone for all your support. Today I am going AF Day one again. I cannot feel like this every day. it really is horrible.