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    1. #461
      Senior Member
      is commited that my target is to
      be able to make my own choice
      between a glass of wine and a
      glass of water
       
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      Baclofenman's Avatar

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      Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

      Quote Originally Posted by abcowboy View Post


      It's times like these that I’m ashamed at myself for not being able to control my drinking even on those visits home. Ashamed at myself for letting booze rob my parents and brothers of the person that I should have been for them. And ashamed at myself for not getting the help that I needed back then. But it’s water under the bridge, I can’t change the past, but I can continue being the son/brother that I was before I let alcohol take over my life. I can continue to show them that I have become the person that they wanted me to be. And I can continue to be an example for the people who are still struggling and suffering from this deadly addiction, that it can be beaten! And so my little brother, look down on me with favour, share with me the happiness that I now feel, and walk beside me each day until we meet again…..
      @abcowboy,

      Nice post.

      I think all of us who have reached a sober period in our lives reflect on the times when alcohol has affected our judgement and behaviour. Jeez, when I look back on some of the things I have done, the stupid and reckless things have all been alcohol related. Many, I have forgotten but some still play on my mind from time to time.

      I went out the other weekend to a pub party with the Pianna. When we arrived we were offered a drink by the host. The conversation went something like this;

      Hi, what can I get you?
      Thanks, the Pianna will have a (large) white wine, and a fizzy water for me
      Water? - Come on, have a pint
      No, a water will be great thanks
      So you dont drink then?
      No, I am an alcoholic, so booze is out of bounds

      There then followed a 20 minute discussion blar blar. During this time, he must have said to me 20? times how much respect he had for the path I had chosen. He then proceeded to tell everyone (who was listening) all about it.

      I suppose what I am trying to say is that (as you know), the past is the past, what we have done has been done. Certainly for me this is my life Pt2 and whilst I will not forget the sadness and upset my drinking has caused, i will not allow myself to dwell on it as what Ph2 has offered me, is the opportunity to rebuild, with the benefit of hindsight.

      Regards


      Bacman
      Last edited by Baclofenman; 03-19-2017 at 04:10 PM.
      AF since 2nd January 2016

      Whatever words I say I will always love you - I will always love you - So fly me to the moon - R Smith


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    3. #462
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      Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

      Good posts, friends. We all regret the time wasted and relationships that were marred by drinking, but it's important to forgive yourself and move on with the new life. I feel we are here doing that.
      My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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    5. #463
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      Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

      Love this thread,
      Bacman that situation happens me a lot due to my work, usually follows this pattern...

      host/ you like a drink
      me/ yes please, still water be fine.
      host/will you not try something erm more refreshing.
      me/ no thanks water is fine, make it sparkling then.
      host/ok are you sure, can I not tempt you,
      me/ no thanks I am an alcoholic & drink just does not agree with me.
      host/O ok, slides of looking back at me as I an alien.

      Later someone will always come up to me to comment & when I explain the reason ,they usually say, yea thinking of stopping myself and waddle of to someone on there level....


      Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009

      Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
      I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

      This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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    7. #464
      Senior Member
      is commited that my target is to
      be able to make my own choice
      between a glass of wine and a
      glass of water
       
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      Baclofenman's Avatar

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      Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

      Quote Originally Posted by mario View Post
      and waddle of to someone on there level....
      Ha ha Mario

      Funny and true

      Regards


      Bacman
      AF since 2nd January 2016

      Whatever words I say I will always love you - I will always love you - So fly me to the moon - R Smith


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    9. #465
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      is appreciating all the benefits
      of sobriety!
       
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      abcowboy's Avatar

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      Itís so true @mario and @Baclofenman how so many people find it hard to understand that there are people who just donít drink lol. Because of the small rural area Iím from, most people know now that I donít drink. Bubba and I usually go to one of two favourite restaurants when we dine out and unless the waitress is new, all they ever ask me is if I want my usual lol. But if we happen to dine out in Edmonton or elsewhere, I get a strange look when I just order ice tea. From my years of working/volunteering with the Agricultural Society, I know that the best profit is in the alcohol sales!

      When we moved to this area @dill, we got involved in a few volunteer organizations, mostly to meet new people and make friends. And if you havenít figured it out by now, Iím kind of an outgoing guy lol, I used to love being the life of the party. As time went on though, I found myself volunteering with the groups where drinking was the norm, not the exception. And if it was a social function where booze was involved, my name could be found at the top of the volunteer sheet! Like you, towards the end, my volunteer time got less and my drinking alone time got bigger. I think that was mostly because I didnít want people to know how much and how often I drank! We donít volunteer as much anymore, but Iíve always been taught to lend a hand where a hand is needed. And when we do attend/volunteer at a function, weíre one of the first to leave now instead of being the person who had to lock up after everyone else was gone. Now I try and live by the rule of going to bed the same day I woke up in!
      Quitting and staying quit isnít easy, itís learning a whole new way of thinking. Itís accepting a new way of life, and not just accepting it, embracing it...

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    11. #466
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      Re: Do You REALLY Want To Be Sober?

      @abcowboy, I had picked up on the fact that you are a very outgoing individual! LOL! I admire that. I am not necessarily shy but I am quiet and retiring. I am a better listener than I am a talker. As far as drinking in social settings, I imagine it became a problem for me before I ever realized it was a problem. I used to host some get-togethers for the people I worked with. It was a mixed crowd in terms of drinking. Some big drinkers, some normal drinkers and some total abstainers. I began to realized that I was perhaps bigger than your average big drinker. LOL! I started pouring my wine into soft drink cans at these parties so no one would know the extent...I think toward the end some people began to notice I was over the line. The drinkers of course didn't care. But my dear friends who were abstainers began to grow concerned. I'm embarrassed to say that they never uttered a word to me until a long time later, and then only with concern, not judgement. Apparently I was not hiding my drinking as well as I thought! However, some time after that point I began to realize I should not drink with work colleagues anymore. I stopped drinking anywhere but at home. I too am ashamed to say that I drove home at times when I was in no condition to drive. That was another reason for my going to isolation mode. I am forever grateful that I never harmed anyone and always made it safely home.

      I also live by the rule of going to bed in the same day I wake up in. And by "Early to bed, early to rise...."
      Last edited by dill; Today at 05:25 PM.
      Dill

      If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

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