My quick summary is this:

I have the familial propensity toward alcohol misuse. I have been aware of that for a long time. Given an unhappy marriage, that propensity has become a player from time to time. I don't think the propensity is the problem, just a large contributing factor. What I fear is that I do not know if the marriage can change because I don't know if he can ever know me in a way that will result in happiness for me (or for him, for that matter).

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