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Men do Hurt and get down

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    #31
    Men do Hurt and get down

    Wise and good words, Rags - so true. Good to see yuo in chat just now, I don't go there much, but my look in a bit more often.

    Depression....only ever have it after serious drinking benders, thank God, but I know all about anxiety. And that is a huge trigger. Breathing exercises help, as does music - but most of all TALKING about it. CRYING IS OK. God, I really have no right to write that, as I find it very very hard too - the stoicism that rags posted about very much what I conditioned myself to over years and years of active addiction.

    Captn - IT DOES GET BETTER, the more time you get up and away from that last drink. DO NOT ISOLATE - keep posting, keep reading. Bless
    *Serenity is the calm WITHIN the storm*

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      #32
      Men do Hurt and get down

      Oh my Cap, I do love you:l:h. It seems like nearly all of us suffer from this. Kudos to you for acknowledging it. My ex dealt with his depression through anger, as many men do, and it was his failure to deal with it that blew up our marriage. Love from the Travolta cat ...:l
      :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

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        #33
        Men do Hurt and get down

        When my husband was drinking heavily I attributed all his behavior to AL. But, as the AL subsided problems came to the surface with his anxiety and depression. From my point of view AL makes someone do things they would never otherwise dream of and in his case behave horribly. Depression, however has more of a silent effect. It turns everything around him dark and impossible to satisfy.
        I think your wife (partner) realizes what is going on and she is indeed sending you a message.
        She managed to live through the AL, but it probably took most of her energy. I agree with others, if she wanted to leave she would have left, so hang in there with her, for her and for both of you.

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          #34
          Men do Hurt and get down

          Captn. You know what mate? You and I are so alike in so many ways it's unbelievable. You may of missed my thread on 'emotions'. But hell yeah we are all human beings after all. YES I totally agree with that WOMEN are from VENUS MEN are from MARS attitude. You'd be silly to think otherwise!! But we all have emotions and we all have the same 'feelings' at times that we deal with differently in out own way. Maybe I'm one that cottoned onto this years ago and put my ego to sleep? Maybe I'm a 'wuss' who can't stand living etc? Maybe (in the eyes of others) I'm GAY because of my sensual living!!. I used that word because I've just been listening to Kate Bush tonight The Sensual World. WE as blokes are supposed to uphold a masculinity. WTF is that?

          I would really like a womans HONEST response now. Sensitive caring guy? OR BAD BOY?. I'll tell yo what? from my experience I'm going with the latter as 'caring' don't work!!lol. Does size matter? AGAIN? Let's be honest here girls?

          I'm YET to meet a 'sensitive' girl tbh? By god I don't even know the description of one tbh!!.

          Captn. Put up that sail mate and let's get out into open sea. Maybe we'll find an island of naked sensitive nymphs!!!lol

          Take care my friend.

          Love Hips
          xxxx
          "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
          Clean and sober 25th January 2009

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            #35
            Men do Hurt and get down

            You are both 'sensitive caring guys' and that is from the heart ..........

            I love both of you, you already know that!!!!

            and for the record i'm a sensitive girl......

            Love & Hugs, BB xx
            sigpicXXX

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              #36
              Men do Hurt and get down

              Well Hippie, my answer is both. Bad boys are a lot of fun, but it does not last. The caring guy is for keeps. and... no it only matters to you.

              Comment

                #37
                Men do Hurt and get down

                betty boop;490252 wrote: You are both 'sensitive caring guys' and that is from the heart ..........

                I love both of you, you already know that!!!!

                and for the record i'm a sensitive girl......

                Love & Hugs, BB xx
                Love you too Boops! In a masculine kind of caring way that involves friendship only for fear of being called a creep and a stalker!!lol SEE what I mean? Gotta be so PC these days aint ya!!lol

                p.s. Boops? I'd still give you a great bug hug if I saw ya!
                "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
                Clean and sober 25th January 2009

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                  #38
                  Men do Hurt and get down

                  Waiting for his way out;490254 wrote: Well Hippie, my answer is both. Bad boys are a lot of fun, but it does not last. The caring guy is for keeps. and... no it only matters to you.
                  Waiting? thankfully I don't suffer with 'penis envy'!! Not because I'm hung like a horse but because It doesn't bother me what I look like naked these days. I'm happy to strip and 'model' as a life artist. I HATE feet more than anything!!lol They're weird things don't you think? penises are just there no matter what. CHRIST we all have one us blokes do we not? I guess the 'animal' instinct' in all of us gets the better of us at times! ARGH! It's getting me now!!lol. It's down to conditioning I think. Hence the massive expenditure on a festival MOST of us don't even believe in.

                  Love hips
                  xxxx
                  "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
                  Clean and sober 25th January 2009

                  Comment

                    #39
                    Men do Hurt and get down

                    Hi Captn,

                    Hope you and your partner get through this period. I have not been AF for that long but I naively thought that my relationship with my husband would be perfect once I gave up drinking. In many ways it has highlighted many other things, things I'm not happy about, he's not happy about. We are very different people and he is very much on a different wavelength from me a lot of the time and no amount of sobriety is going to sort that out!. I love him to bits but I just feel so unwell at present and really need to feel better in myself - he understands this though and as long as I communicate that to him he is ok, when I withdraw into myself and want to be on my own he tends to think that he is the problem and that I don't love him when it's not that at all. By talking to him about it and asking for his help, he feels he is involved in it.

                    Anyway, I've gone off on a bit of a ramble and as for a man being sensitive, crying and touching his female bits, I say bring it on, better out than in and all that. I personally love the quiet, sensitive, windswept and interesting types, bad boys are over rated. And Hippie, surely you jest about never meeting a sensitive girl, there are so many of us out there you must have bumped into one of us along the way. Does size in relation to a man matter? - only with regard to his wallet, of course I joke - small but perfectly formed is what I say

                    xx
                    There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

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