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    #31
    Bri- Absolutely there are additive personalities. I think it’s why most of us are here. There are character traits that make us do what others don’t. You are not alone in this..since we have all been there many times, many folks here understand your struggles more than some doctors or non-drinkers who want you to just “will it away” and then you are cured. That never happens for the long term with just will power alone. I believe we are all in for a life struggle, as much as that sucks to say and hear. Giving up, of course, only makes that worse. It is work, but look at the fan base and support system you have here… people believe you can do it because it can be done…Hang in there and best wishes.


    Why Some People Just Can't Say No



    Do You Have an Addictive Personality?



    We believe that there are three crucial traits that comprise much of the risk of developing a dependency on drugs: sensation-seeking, impulsivity and compulsivity.
    Sensation-seeking is the tendency to seek out new experiences, be they traveling to exotic countries, trying new foods or having an adrenaline junkie’s interest in extreme sports. These people are more likely to first try psychoactive drugs, experimenting with different sensations and experiences.
    Conversely, impulsivity is acting without considering the consequences of your actions. This is often equated with having poor self-control – eating that slice of chocolate cake in the fridge even though you’re on a diet, or staying out late drinking when you have to be at work the next day.
    The final component in the risk for addiction is compulsivity. This is the tendency to continue performing a behavior even in the face of negative consequences. The most classic example of this is someone with OCD, or obsessive-compulsive disorder, who feels compelled to check that the door is locked over and over again every time they leave the house, even though it makes them late for work. These compulsions can loosely be thought of as bad habits, and some people form these habits more easily than others. In drug users, this compulsive nature is expressed in their continued use of the substance, even though it may have cost them their job, family, friends and health.
    “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness”- Desmond Tutu


    STL

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      #32
      Bri - I think that there are aspects of addictive personalities that are not all negative. Many addictive people are obsessive and determined - but that can be channeled into being a positive thing - with other interests or causes. Even being compulsive can be turned on its head as a positive thing IMO - i.e. into creativity, fun, showing emotions etc. Its how we deal with these traits - the traits are not in themselves 'bad' or in need of being repressed. How boring would the world be if we all did that! I am just trying to put a different light on some of the conventional thinking. But take the booze/substances and the self harm (and in some cases - not you - harm to others) out of the equation

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        #33
        Bri- Hugs. I hope you are doing better. :hug: Patty
        "God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
        so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down."
        :hug:

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          #34
          Bri, I'm glad some of what I said made sense. And yes, I can definitely relate to going a long time with no drinks, then say have one beer and done, or two, and then it does kind of spiral. Wine can be tough, I know. For one, one is good, especially if you have the taste for good wine like I do. However, as we all know, and I'm not advocating binging by any means, but having too much wine, is probably the worst than other alcohols. I know for me, there is WAY TOO much sugar in it -that can also give you the anxiety, and the buzz "creeps" up on you.

          See the light made some great points on addictive personalities. I'm pretty sure that is why I like to run, that I have run six marathons, that I still like to play ice hockey (with younger guys) and still ski like a beast!

          From what little I have seen from your posts, I think you'll be okay. :-)

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            #35
            Thanks everyone. I don't have much to say except to thank you all for taking the time to write and check in on me. I am still struggling...I am struggling with a lot of anxiety and I am also OCD...the drinking quiets the OCD down...but I know...I know...only temporarily. Just like the anxiety. I just need to get past day 1 and I'll be golden. That is my biggest obstacle! But why is it so hard to get past it??

            A huge part of me wants to sit there and say that I am a massive "failure"...but I know that many of us have gone through this. I just need to put my big girl panties on....
            Still here though...

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              #36
              Bri, I haven't followed your threads particularly closely, but have you seen an addiction psychiatrist? Two of the key reasons I became an alcoholic was because of debilitating anxiety and panic attacks, and insomnia. I also have ADD as well. Once I saw an addiction shrink who put me on a pretty aggressive cocktail of medications that got those symptoms under control, it became much easier to fight the psychological battle, which I continue to fight through individual therapy and group support.
              In the middle of my life's journey, I found myself in a dark wood, as I had lost the straight path. It is a difficult thing to speak about, how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood is. Just thinking about it recreates the fear. It is scarcely less bitter than death, but in order to tell of the good that I found there, I must tell of the other things I saw there. --Dante, paraphrased

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                #37
                Hey Alky, I am actually seeing an addictions counsellor - have an appointment today funnily enough.
                Unfortunately, she's quite young...not that it makes a difference per se...but I feel like I don't get much out of our sessions. She also doesn't know much about anxiety and such...maybe a psychiatrist would be different? I did get a referral from my doctor to see a psych/psychologist to properly diagnose my OCD.
                ESPECIALLY, for me anyways, having obsessive compulsive disorder (obsessional thinking/ruminating being the main culprit here, although paired with compulsions) interferes with my drinking and stopping drinking. Like you said...the psychological battle...is so draining.
                Hopefully I can figure all this out. One counsellor thinks that when I get my OCD and anxiety under control I would be better able to deal with my compulsion to drink.

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                  #38
                  This is something I can totally relate too and after my last bout I contacted my counselor and will be working with her... But she doesn't prescribe meds which I think I may need.

                  I have been experiencing a large amount of anxiety which has pushed me back to trazadone at night.

                  Alky- I saw you posted about your meds somewhere.. What med do think is most beneficial? I know we have talked before about Vistral(hydroxozine) I think is the generic for it... I tried that a few weeks ago and it knocked me on my butt and ended needing to sleep most of the next day.

                  Bri- I will get back to your PM soon.

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                    #39
                    The only thing I am prescribed for my anxiety is Ativan - which I only will take when I have a *horrible* panic attack - I am afraid of the way that it makes me feel. I don't want to replace alcohol with pills...

                    I went and saw my addictions counsellor yesterday....she said that it would be best to plan a stop date...which will be on Monday - she said to avoid Monday...but I think it has to be Monday for me....if it's any other day I will feel overwhelmed and I know I will keep drinking. I feel like I need to prove something to myself?
                    Thinking about stopping again is scary. :/
                    I won't go "balls to the wall" though with my drinking...I am slowly cutting it back....
                    But I really really do want to quit. I will look for an AA meeting Monday night too and my counsellor will also be checking in on me. I also have the support of my boyfriend.
                    Wish me luck.

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                      #40
                      Lots of luck Bri and you are a strong lady so you can do this. It's great you have support. Hugs. Xxx

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                        #41
                        Thanks so much Treetops.

                        Well...I got laid off work yesterday....because the place I work at (small business) isn't making money....and yet I sit there and see them spending money left and right...and they just hired a new person on...so how does that make sense that I am let go?
                        Usually I would have taken the opportunity to drink my face off...but I didn't....I guess this is a good thing?
                        I need to look at this as a blessing in disguise...get my ass in gear....and really work the sober time.

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                          #42
                          Bri...this is not your first rodeo. Is AL positively or negatively affecting you life? That is all you really have to ask yourself.
                          Who cares if you are an alike.....if alcohol is a negative.....then you know what do. I am so over giving advice. Do want you want....and who cares. Its not my life you are wasting away....just yours. Harsh maybe....and it really is not for me to say. I hit really hard times.....I want to drown it out with 10 drinks.....But that is no longer my life. I am saddened to see that you seemed to just circle.....man I know that circle. You do with your life what you want.....but, stop putting it in other people. You ask people for advice and don't take it. So just stop it.

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                            #43
                            Wow. Harsh. You do know what addiction is...right?

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                              #44
                              I guess I was under the impression that we can come here for support and to vent.
                              Not sure if you read the last couple posts of mine Sunflower. Because I am struggling this time around I need to "just stop" asking for advice? I'm not putting it on anyone. People can take or leave my posts.
                              You said yourself you know that circle.

                              Not a nice way of going about it. But thanks for the words anyway.

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                                #45
                                Hey sunflower- I see you just joined and I think your a troll...
                                Don't worry I won't address you again so post away with you trivial childish behavior..
                                Just wanted you to to know.... That you don't matter....

                                If you are so wise and ready to quit giving advice get the outta here....

                                Are you sober cause you sure don't act like it...

                                Originally posted by TheSunFlower97 View Post
                                Bri...this is not your first rodeo. Is AL positively or negatively affecting you life? That is all you really have to ask yourself.
                                Who cares if you are an alike.....if alcohol is a negative.....then you know what do. I am so over giving advice. Do want you want....and who cares. Its not my life you are wasting away....just yours. Harsh maybe....and it really is not for me to say. I hit really hard times.....I want to drown it out with 10 drinks.....But that is no longer my life. I am saddened to see that you seemed to just circle.....man I know that circle. You do with your life what you want.....but, stop putting it in other people. You ask people for advice and don't take it. So just stop it.
                                Last edited by bkyogagurl; November 10, 2014, 12:33 AM.

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