Back again, wine drinking escaper

[hazeleyes]

Hey Frances, thanks for your replies. So kind of you.
We must be similar, as I grew up singing in church and used to love it because the words had such meaning to me. I have stopped practicing my music for now as I have lost heart, but maybe my mood will change and I be back into it in another format. The other guy I play with is a choir leader and music teacher, with lots of contacts. He is singing in Africa at present but back in a few weeks. So I will wait until then to talk it over with him.

I made it through the weekend and my husband and I even went to a pub to watch a well known sports team. We drank soft drink (full of sugar yuk), but we still had a good time together. I felt almost like a superior being watching all these drugged up and drunk men stumbling around. No problems driving home, no hang over. What a legend!

How's your quit going?

[frances]

Hi there! Everything is going well for me - thanks. Had those rough days early in the week but since then I've had no problems. i know what you mean about watching drunk people - it is a good feeling to see how silly and foolish that can look and to know you've gotten away from all of that!

[SKendall]

Hi Hazel and everyone. I've always been a high strung person and when I stopped drinking that aspect didn't go away.

I discovered meditation to be life-saving. I got a couple of CD's (Rodney Yee) 30 mins and incorporated into my daily life. You can search youtube for him and others. There are many.

Good luck

[briseus]

How is everyone doing? Hope you all are hanging in there. I'm glad to hear that you persevered, Hazel. I'm sorry that there are some tough situations you are going through but you can get through this, we all can without alcohol. xx

[hazeleyes]

I had an issue to deal with yesterday in regards a wine club I joined that makes 2 monthly deliveries. I tried to cancel my membership and they told me I had to either keep receiving the wine for a full year, or pay back the discounts I received at over $150.
They has no empathy for the fact I had quit alcohol, basically told me to change my mind.

What an unbelievable response. As I don't want to pay for nothing, I now have to put up with wine being delivered to the house until next year.

Needless to say I am very upset at this outcome. Just one more hurdle to climb.

On the upside I am now on Day 25 AL free and no desire to turn back.

Life is better this way!

[briseus]

Hey Hazel,
I am sorry to hear that.
Maybe you can try getting in touch with head office or something? I feel like continuing on having the wine delivered to your house is a dangerous idea...one day when you're having a particularly shiteous day...a fight with someone...things not going your way, crap day at work (etc, whatever)...and ding dong...guess what's going to show up at your door and really going to try and get you to throw all resolve out the window.
Yep. Our old friend vino.

I once quit...had 37 days sober...I went to a stag & doe...I entered the contests...the door prize or whatever you want to call it was $500 worth of booze...
I WON that $500 worth of booze out of ALLLLL the people that were in that room...probably close to 200 or so...and the alcoholic wins it? What a crock!! Needless to say, I took it like a savage but said "nope, not going to drink it"...and it went on that way for a bit...didn't touch it...couldn't touch it...until one day I had a shit day...and guess what was sitting in the cold cellar of my house? $500 worth of booze.
Needless to say it didn't last long.

I hear ya about not wanting to spend the $150...if you can...try to sell your membership to someone else, or contact head office? You might get a sympathetic ear?
Or ask them to change the address! Now there is a great idea! So then when it shows up, it won't be you at the door to receive it.

Stay strong Hazel! 25 days is awesome!!

[hazeleyes]

Oh Bri, you are so gorgeous. Thanks for sharing your story, what a blast! Of all the people to win the prize...funny the timing of things aye!

Anyway, I decided I wasn't going to take this lying down, so I sent an email to the boss and told him I was not happy and how point less it was to send the wine as it was only going down the drain. I also said if he knew anything about addiction he would not take the stand he was taking. I signed it off "very unhappy customer".

Not sure which comment did the trick, but next thing I got an email apologizing, and stating they had cancelled my membership for free. How about that. See how good things do happen when you don't drink. I would never have complained before with a cool head.

I'm so proud of myself. Thanks again for sharing Bri. You are great!

[briseus]

That's AMAZING Hazel!! I am so happy for you! PHEW!!! One less thing to worry about, eh??
When we first get sober, I feel like the first month we get bombarded from every which way....whether it be what you went through, or what I did...or friends pressuring you to just have 'one' or 'you're not that bad'...or you start to notice all the booze commercials, lol, or you sit and wonder how much your boss drinks, coworkers drink, friends....
Ahh...hate this thing called addiction.

I am so happy for you Hazel! You have no idea. Good on ya for writing the boss...and I am proud of YOU too!!

:hug: x 1000 !

[hazeleyes]

Tomorrow will be the end of my first month and I can't believe I got this far. The mental challenge has been the hardest, fighting against those thoughts, or acknowledging them and peacefully letting them pass. I have learnt some key things this month about how the desire to drink is strongest when I am tired. Mentally or physically. I need to have good tools to relax, like resting, sitting quietly, taking time to wind down naturally. I have also focused on not beating myself up mentally, just accepting where I'm at, I don't need to feel bad. The encouragement I have felt on here, even if just someone thanking me for my post, has also kept me going.

By now I would has drunk around 20 bottles of wine, heaps of chips and nuts, and hours of guilt and regret... So by my sums I am definitely ahead. My husband also quit for the ful month, so he is also my hero. It's been so wonderful to do this together, even going to the pub and not drinking, together. What a beautiful gift he gave me.

I wish you all luck in your journey and hope you find happiness and peace as well.

[All done drinking]

hazeleyes,

Are you going to keep staying AF? I recently made my 30 and I have to say I feel so much better. Sleep great, anxiety is completely gone, and I am just so much happier to be fully present for my family and completely in control any time day or night. Any emergency I could handle, talk, drive, etc. That was always a little scary to think if something happened (even as basic as picking up a son who needed a ride) I would be at risk driving if I'd had a drink or two.

Addy

[hazeleyes]

Hey addy! Thanks for your post.

Yep, I am definitely going to stay AL free indefinitely. I have no plans to take it up again, and I try always to remember what a nightmare life I had before. Wine is just a waste of my time. Who knows how many days I have left, may as well make them count.

Kind wishes to you

[hazeleyes]

I watched an amazing video from Ted Talks which ended with the statement "the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, the opposite of addiction is connections"

This was like a lightbulb moment to me as I think this is totally true. When you have people around you that truly get you, and you want to interact with, the desire to be out of it on AL or drugs is much much less. Sober people who get you, I mean. People who make your life fuller and interesting, inspire you to be a better person and leave the AL behind. They make you want to interact with them, and you have to be present to do this. These are the people we all need in our lives to stay sober.

I have decided to make getting more connections with others, my new life main goal in my quest to stay sober for life. I am sure if I need connections to stay sober then there will be lots of other people who need me as well.

Will you share your time with someone, loving them, so they can stay sober?

[briseus]

Hey, I really like that Hazel - thank you for sharing.
I definitely am going to have to agree with you - support is definitely a big part of sobriety...it can even be the support of your partner...but the support that we get through here, all these people, is unimaginable. It's pretty quite amazing for us to be able to relate to one another on such a level. I am sure that oftentimes we could finish one another's sentences when we try to explain how we felt in our addictions and how we feel now in our sobriety.
I definitely think that helping others as well is a big part of sobriety...
So yes, I would share my time with someone, so they can stay sober.
We're doing that right now with each other.