Newbies Nest

[LilBit]

Ava, thinking of you. :hug: Godspeed, Robert and may you both be at peace.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Ava, so sorry for the loss of such a good friend. Robert is at peace now, no more suffering for him.
Honor him by taking good care of yourself & your family :hug:

Wishing everyone a peaceful & AF Sunday!

Lav

[paulywogg]

Sorry for your loss Ava,Robert was so lucky to have such a great friend in you,when you feel sad just look at the hot air balloon ride pictures and remember how happy he was

[j-vo]

Ava, so sorry for your loss. What a great friendship you both had, and now his suffering is gone. Thoughts are with you.

[Overit-still]

Ava, so sorry for your loss. Please remember that he loved you beyond measure. 💑

[Byrdlady]

Ava, I am so sorry for the loss of Robert. There's just no bright side to try and pull out, it just sucks on every level. Grief comes in waves, so I will be thinking of you constantly and wishing you strength. I also wish you peace. When my dad passed, I got that gift of peace. It was a feeling that there is a purpose for all of us and my dad filled it and while his time on earth was done, his influence lives on....still. That's all we can ask.....to make a difference.

I was watching the news this morning and there was a story about a guy who makes bracelets with YOUR WORD on them. I was thinking about what MY word would be. AL (like it or not) has had a huge influence in my life. Its almost as if my life has been divided into two periods: pre and post-sober. Having been on both sides of that bottle, I have learned that no drink is better than being sober feels. Has it always been easy? Hell no. Has it always been worth it? Absolutely.
I had a great conversation with a nester on Friday. We agreed that long term sobriety is such a gift. To have a thought that isnt linked some way to AL, is such freedom. NOT wanting a drink is an AWESOME place to be....its a place I thought Id never get to, I can tell you that. Getting to 7 o'clock at night and realizing I hadnt given AL a single thought during the afternoon is something I never thought I would experience. My head is a peaceful place now. There is no struggle or agitation. I have MindPeace. That alone is worth the price of admission. What gave me this superpower? TIME away from AL. Significant time....consecutive days and lots of them. Yes, this takes time, but I am here to tell you IT HAS BEEN WORTH IT. Never in a million years did I think Id be talking about the joys of Not Drinking .....I was the the first one down to the bar after all! Funny how life works.
My word would be MindPeace. That is my wish you you, too. Do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF. There is NO life in that bottle.
Hope everyone has a peaceful Sunday. Byrdie

[JackDanielsGirl]

Peaceful Sunday to you all, my friends,

AVA - So sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Robert's family.

I have had some thoughts of AL over the last few days. I was a closet drinker and hid it as best I could. I have not caved and when those thoughts came I got on here and read and then got busy doing something, anything until they passed. It is amazing to me how much control AL had over me. After all the side effects to my health and all the withdrawls I went through, you would think a sane person would not ever think like this again. That is just how cunning the AL brain is. But by my definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. UGH!!! Byrdie thank you for your post. I can see from your experience that there will come a day when I don't want that drink, and it takes time away from AL to get there. I am working as hard on my quit as I did to get my next drink.

Wishing everyone a fantastic AF Sunday,
JDG

PS ADP good to hear from you, keep hanging in there. We are all in this together.

[Ginger999]

Ava, so sorry for your loss. You were such a good friend to Robert and made his life much better by your dedication to him. Big hug to you my friend. {Hug}

[ItsJustMe]

Dudes -

Happy happy Day 8! It’s 11AM and I have already been more productive this morning than an entire weekend hung-over!

Can’t believe the malls opened at 8AM on a Sunday morning! That is crazy. But I took advantage of it and got the last of my shopping crap done before everyone in the state realized they were open. I actually had to go to two malls. But it is totally done – no more Christmas shopping. Nada. Waiting on one more Amazon shipment to get here tomorrow. I also have about 95% of everything wrapped. (again, it’s amazing what you can get done when you are not 1) fighting a hangover or 2) planning on when you can start drinking and hiding it so no one knows that you started early!)

I still have a truckload of things I want to get done today. I really really hate it with Mrs. IJM has to work the weekend. It happens once a month, and you would think after 28 years I would be used to it. But no! I totally hate it. I mope around the house until she gets home. The good news is that she is off Christmas Day. Last year she had to work which totally blew. You would think women would time their pregnancies better so babies would not be delivered on holidays (kidding…..).

Oh well, gotta get busy. I will check back later and see what everyone is up to!

IJM

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Ava - sending you love and hugs across the big pond. I am so glad that you got to spend so much good time with Robert, and grateful that you found each other. xo

Off to do a ton of errands and then Star Wars...

Pav

[frances]

Ava I too am sorry for your loss- I feel like we got to know Robert a little bit with the stories you have shared. I know how special he was to you and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

[All done drinking]

He was the first friend I told of my giving up drinking and never once did he judge me.

To be so blessed to have a friend like that...I hope you can find comfort with those memories Ava. So hard to lose those we love, especially true friends as it's so rare to find them. My thoughts are with you and yours. Sending healing energy and hugs your way. ((( )))

:hug:
~Addy

[kuya]

Sorry for your loss Ava, it sounds like you have been a tremendous friend to him.

Just before Christmas is hard but in time it will be a time to remember the happiness rather than the loss.

[treetops]

Very sorry Ava about your loss. This is a time of grief for you but also you will forever cherish his love and friendship. Close friends are so very important.
Hugs xxxx

[IQuit]

Day 6 in the books. It WAS NOT easy but its done. I had a very nice hike this morning with hubby. He is keeping me going without being critical. The last few times I tried to quit I didn't tell him as I knew he would be serious about keeping me accountable. Boy, I missed the boat with that one. It is so much easier to keep the quit going with him involved. But I guess that is what I was afraid of . . .


Actiongirl- very thoughtful comment,particularly as it relates to our loved-ones, especially if they care about us (including our sobriety). Seems like a really fine line between "critical" vs. "accountable" vs. simply loving and concerned about us?


I'll have to process that one a little more, especially as it could relate to me. If my wife made a comment to me about my AL-use (or now former use), I guess I could interpret a simple comment from her, such as "another day= another day without alcohol, right?" Depending on how I happen to be feeling at that moment, I'm liable to take her comment, and apply it through my own filters; I could be upset with her, or give her a big hug because she cares and wants to be encouraging.

This is something I need to be aware of. Thanks