Newbies in Need - Day 14

[Kitty]

Hi all,

Where is everyone?? Mind you it is the weekend. Hope you are all having fun.

I'm having a very lazy Saturday so far, I think it may be the Topa but I slept like a log last night, I'm embarassed to say what time I got up this morning, lol. Mind you I'm not a great sleeper so if that is a side effect then it is a welcome one. I'm playing around with dose times at the moment so I think I'll try a little earlier today. I'm ravenous right now because we are gong to a new restaurant this afternoon and I am trying to save my stomache.

Have a super weekend,

Kitty

DG how was training??

[Cinders]

Newbies in Need - Day 14

Good morning Kitty and All!!

My Goodness, so many new "faces" on the posts these days!! This place is really growing!!

Welcome to all and hope this place can help.

I am back home this weekend and happy to be here. I managed to stay pretty moderate all week in St. Louis but really want to get down to AF. Absolutely no willpower going here. :boohoo:

However, hope springs eternal and I am going to try for AF this weekend. Just to see if I can do it. 2 days, for Pete's sake!!

I missed a lot the last few days so don't know what to say to everybody.

Just take care and remember the posts are light during the weekend but everybody still cares!!

Cindi

[Guest]

Newbies in Need - Day 14

Hi Kitty and Cindi and all to come.

Sorry, I also have a bit of catching up to do with you all.
Major slip during week for me, but am back on track.......illness here at mo., which has made me realize how much I am relied upon, so think this has finally taught me just how pointless and damaging excessive drinking is.........

Hope you all have a good day.

Starlight Impress

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in Need - Day 14

Hi Kitty and Cindi and Starlight and all to come (cool phrase just stolen from Starlight cuz I like it!)

Kitty, needless to say I am very interested in following along with your Topa experiences. MAN just hearing about how well you slept last night almost makes me want to start!! I slept a LITTLE better last night, but do not feel caught up at all from the very restless first 2 AF nights. I hope you have fun at the new restaurant - I'm sure hearing about it later will make our mouths all start watering! Training hasn't started yet here. Mr. Doggy is at the place where they do tracking. The "gang" will all show up here around 10AM CST. Nobody better piss me off today!!

Cindi, congratulations on staying mods while on the road. I used to travel a lot for work and drinking was such a big part of that - didn't matter what day of the week it was. 1) work 2) go to hotel bar. 3) repeat. (well, it was pretty much like that at home too, so what the sam hill am I talking about...) Anyway, St. Louis is a city I like. Do you go there often? Best wishes for your AF goals!!

Starlight, sorry to hear about your learning experience. (I don't like the term slips!!) But to know how much you are needed is sometimes nice. I hope the weekend and coming week are less stressful for you!!

Well, here I am on Day 4 AF. I feel pretty good except for being so darn tired. I messed up my eating plan goals last night. Mr. Doggy had to work through the evening at a client, so I didn't make a proper dinner. That led straight to the bag of gummy fish. (note to self - no more gummy fish in the house!!) At least I didn't go straight for the bottle which I'll take as a victory!! Of course I want to loose my extra weight. But for right now - I'm not as concerned about the weight as I am keeping my blood sugar levels nice and steady to keep sugar cravings down. But that's a battle all by itself!

Anyway, I forgot to update the drink tracker yesterday!!! I'm gonna go do that. Call me childish but I like putting a "gold star" on the calendar every day. I liked it in kindergarten and I still like it!! I'm in touch with my inner child.

I WILL not drink today just becuase other people will be here drinking later. I'm curious though to see how it feels for me - the first time in I truly can't remember how many years that I will be around people drinking while not drinking myself. At least I will learn something new so I can make ever better strategies going forward. Wish me luck.

To all my new friends here, have an awesome day whatever your goals!!

DG
Day 4 AF!!!!!

[nancy]

Newbies in Need - Day 14

back on track

As I reported yesterday, I went for almost a near month with near perfect moderating. Two days before the month point something upset me and I went back to the soothing ritual. It was awful. I had broken these rules: don't drink at home alone, don't drink to soothe emotional upset, don't have more than three, don't get drunk.

Anyway, I have HAD it with ANY drunk nights. I don't want a single one. It's so unhealthy and makes me upset.

I am trying AF for a while, with hypno. I want to do hypno every day for a full 30 days but I am not sure if I can do that, sometimes it is not practical.

Another member (was it you Doggy Girl) recommended the book Feeling Good, which I bought. It's based on cognitive therapy. It shows you how to recognize negative thinking patterns that make you feel badly emotionally (like all or nothing thinking, overgeneralization). A lot of it is relevant to me but I am not sure how much a book can help with this. Probably better to work with a cognitive therapist. I think I create a difficult mental situation and want an escape.

I still feel frustrated about the setback. I am desperate to learn how to moderate and really hoping it is possible some day.

PS Doggy Girl: your enthusiasm is contagious-- love your stars on the calendar idea

[Kitty]

Newbies in Need - Day 14

DG good luck,

Keep us posted. I know exactly what you mean re. the sugar. I have never really had much of a sweet tooth but when I don't drink I go crazy for the stuff. When I started af I couldn't stop eating cream cakes and ice cream, it's settled down a bit now though. I think it's really important to watch your levels because once they soar you just want more and more.

Have a good day today,

Kitty

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in Need - Day 14

Hi Nancy. ((((Nancy)))) I can feel your frustration. I can also relate to your statement that you've had it with drunk nights. Me too! I just don't have any use for that any more. It doesn't fit in my life. Anyway, I'm really enjoying the hypnosis. So far I have found it challenging to do the program EXACTLY as recommend each day. But even the instructions say that if you can't do it exactly, do what you can. I hope it helps you!!

Now. Am I going to have to come over there and spank you so you will stop spanking yourself? Don't make me....... (see, I knew I could make you smile )

Kitty, we know our sugar issues don't we!!

DG

[retteacher]

Newbies in Need - Day 14

Hi Everyone: Had a fantastic AF time at the beach yesterday. When cocktail hour rolled around, the hosts put premium vodka, gin, mixers, & nice wines on the table & told us to help ourselves. I felt sorely tempted, but while everyone was mixing away, I held back. My brain was working hard. I knew 1 or 2 (the other guests drink that way) would not be enough. I knew that I would then be obssessing about how to get more wo/anyone noticing, etc. etc. I just gritted my teeth, poured myself a soda, & sat down w/my back to the bar table. The craving passed, & by the time wine was being poured for dinner, I was fine saying "no." Staying AF enabled me to join in the conversation wo/being paranoid about what I was saying, go swimming in the ocean, & stay awake on the long ride home. I couldn't wait to get to the computer to tell you all & thank you for being so wonderful. I've now done 2 AF parties in as many months. I know I can do it, & it's great fun. Love you all, Mary

[Kitty]

Newbies in Need - Day 14

Hi Nancy,

Good luck with the af, and please try and let your frustrations go about your setback, you still made great progress so focus on that.

Take care,

Kitty

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in Need - Day 14

Congratulations Mary!!! And thank you so much for sharing your experience, and how you handled it. That is such good information for those of us who are just taking our very first baby steps. It's inspiring to know it's possible to give up the booze, and be able to still enjoy social functions (even though it will be difficult at first).

You GO girl!! Have a great day!!

DG
Day 4 AF

[nancy]

Newbies in Need - Day 14

Thanks for the support. If I look at it in positive light, I only had one drunk night in a month. but it was SO depressing nevertheless!!!

Mary, Wow, that party sounds sooo tempting, very hard to resist. That's really good news that you resisted!

[Kitty]

Newbies in Need - Day 14

Wow Mary, well done, that was huge temptation. Glad you had a great time.


Kitty

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in Need - Day 14

Hello all!

I am happy to report that the day with the group here for dog training went very well. Of course I "thought" of drinking many times throughout, but the cravings were not severe and very VERY manageable. I really stopped having fun at dog training right after I quit smoking, when my desire to drink escalated (hard to imagine that's possible, but it did). It wasn't fun because not only would I be jonsing for cigarettes, but also "sneaking" (ya right) voddy drinks earlier and earlier. I wanted the drinks (so I thought) but was also stressed out with guilt, and fear of people figuring it out (which I'm sure they did).

Today I felt like my old self - maybe even a much improved version. I did have one issue that's sort of been going on for the last few days (forgetfullness, mixing words up). Sounds like Topa Dopa is described, but I'm Topa Nopa. I just want to make sure this is something minor that will probably pass, as opposed to HOLY SHIT GET YOUR BUTT TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM IMMEDIATELY!! I described this in more detail in the general section and am looking for feedback.

Anyway, back to the good stuff!!! I came up to my office a few times betwee 10AM and 4PM just to read a couple of posts - sort of like reaching out and just touching my support system to keep my energy flowing (or put some rocket fuel in my kudzu!!). Other than that - no hiding, I was out on the field coordinating the action and laughing and having fun. I even sat through the "afterglow" while the guys all had a few beers. NO PROBLEMS!!! YEA!!!! Note: I think people are born with a lifetime ration of beer. I used up my lifetime ration by the time I was about 24 (I'm 49 now) when beer left me. I probably haven't drank 12 beers since then. Of course I easily switched to wine and vodka.
So beer is not a temptation specifically, but drinking sure is. AND...there is an unopened bottle of Vodka in the house. (we were on the deck - just a few steps away) I really had no serious desire. Just kept after my water. I was ready for everyone to hit the road a bit before they finally did, but that wasn't TOO bad either. Just a little anxious feeling.

So all in all, I am very happy with how things went, how the MWO program is working for me, and how I handled myself. (not just hiding away all day - getting out there and engaging!!)

I'm hoping for some reassurance on the Top Dopa While Topa Nopa effect. But technically, I reached the "4 day" (96 hour) mark at 4PM today - right when things were wrapping up and I didn't drink or seriously even want to. So...I'm going to toddle off right now and claim my gold star for the day in the drink tracker thingy!!!!! WHEE!!!!

Then I'm going to eat, do hynosis, and hopeful to get some much needed SLEEP - not that restless kind like last night - the REAL kind - like at least 6 hours in a row would THRILL this 8 hour a night gal!!

You guys are the best. You were a little bunch of energizers for me today and you didn't even know it!!!!!!

DG
I guess now I am officially on day 5 AF. I won't confuse that issue down to the minute every day, but for TODAY I'm takin' it!!!!

[Kitty]

Newbies in Need - Day 14

Glad training was a success DG, I was thinking of you when I was tucking into my Chicken and Ribs combo!!!

Well done.

See you tomorrow,

Kitty