Newbies in need - Day 20

[retteacher]

Dear Friends:

As the alcoholic veil lifts, I learn more & more about myself. It's amazing how long it takes. One or two days isn't enough to feel the emotional & spiritual recovery of sobriety. One or two days is simple recovery from the physical effects. Now that I've managed 10 days, my life's lessons are becoming clearer.

Drinking stifles my ability to take responsibility for managing my relationships. For example, I was out w/my husband this week. He was tired & at one point, he spoke brusquely (bordering on rudely) to me. I just calmly said to him: "Don't talk to me like that." There were a few seconds of silence, & his attitude then took a 180. He didn't apologize (do men ever?), but I knew he recognized what had happened.

If I'd been in the middle of a drinking bout, I would have kept silent & fumed inside. When I got home, I probably would have gotten drunk. I can see that w/sobriety, I will have the responsibilities of managing life (which is what I tried to avoid through drinking).

Janice: I hope you are coming today. My thoughts are w/you & when I prayed before sleep last night, I included you. Again, we older folks sometimes don't realize that we are so very important to our very busy grown-up children.

Love you all, Mary

[sheshe]

Newbies in need - Day 20

If I'd been in the middle of a drinking bout, I would have kept silent & fumed inside. When I got home, I probably would have gotten drunk. I can see that w/sobriety, I will have the responsibilities of managing life (which is what I tried to avoid through drinking).

I am EXACTLY the same. Actually had the thought "Wow - what an ass he is, but I can show him! I'll be a BIG DRUNKEN b!tch, let's see how he likes that!" How dumb is that? Thing is, when I'm not drinking I can simply be a b!tch right back at 'im - MUCH more satisfying!

[Almostfamous]

Newbies in need - Day 20

Reteacher- I love reading your posts. As I have said previously, they are so inspiring. No, men do NOT appoligize. I have a wonderful hubby but his is short on words when it comes to appologizing. It is refreshing for me to wake up and not have to think..hmmm what did I say or do last night. It causes me less worrying and stress. Keep up your great work!

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in need - Day 20

Good Day Newbies in Need!!! Mary, thank you for another awesome, thought provoking post to get us all started today!! I'm starting to look forward to this thread each morning because you give us all a really good new topic to think about. I am SO happy for you - watching your self discovery and growth. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us.

Hi to sheshe and AF-My-Butt-Billboard-Business-Buddy!

I too have seen a change in how I relate to Mr. Doggy in moments (bit or small LOL!) of stress or tension. Oh...and I have a "mainstream Mr." too - not much for apologizing. He has to be WAY WAY WAY out there to even consider it. Just gotta accept that part of most Mr.'s I guess.

Anyway, Mr. Dawg doesn't drink hardly at all. 95% or maybe even more of the time he didn't say anything about mine. BUT...we are both very strong willed people, so in times of disagreement he did not hesitate to wield my drinking over my head like a fricking AK47. (OK - I will give you a moment to recover from the shock of finding out that I am not a meek and mild wallflower like you thought I was!)

He would belittle my point of view with a "oh you've been drinking...." type remark, even if I was in reasonably decent command of my brain and possibly even my smart mouth. And I'm sure to some degree he was right some of the time - I'm sure I often thought I was in better charge of myself than I actually was. But trust me...often he used my vice against me whether it was fair to or not in the given situation.

Anyway, now I am GUILT FREE when I say what I gotta say. I feel like I am on equal footing. He no longer has the advantage in a "discussion" due to my weakness. This is actually good for our relationship. We are both very strong, and are BETTER as partners when neither one of us is "taking advantage" of a weakness. That might sound strange....and might end up misunderstood. But anyway...Great topic once again Mary!!!!

I am just so thrilled to be in double digit AF days today!!! There is nothing more to say... (well, OK I lied there)

DG
Day 10 AF WHOO HOO! * * * * * * * * * *(my gold stars)
My 10 day victory socks http://www.toesocksupplier.com/fashi...a-darkblue.jpg

[Almostfamous]

Newbies in need - Day 20

Hi DG! Good morning. I am off to comb the aisles of Barnes and Noble bookstore w/ my daughter. Nice to do it without a foggy haze. I am steadily trying to saty alc. free instead of moderate. So far so good! I'll check back later.

[louise]

Newbies in need - Day 20

Morning all. The sun is shining, woke up to doves cooing, church bells ringing and the smell of mint coming in the window because of the rain (finally!) last night. Mary, watching you persevere over the last 2 months has been an inspiration. Thank you. Good to hear you're on 10 DG and glad sheshe and Almost are feeling well. Sorry if I missed anyone. Thoughts go out to Janice, Bluesky, GardenGirl and Roxane. Hi to all to come. I'm off camping until Sun.

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in need - Day 20

AF, have fun at Barnes and Noble!! I love books and used to always be reading multiple books at once. Over the last several years as my drinking steadily got heavier and earlier in the day, I hardly ever read. I miss it, and am looking forward to reading more again!! In fact I was at Sam's Club last night and saw 3 hard cover books by 3 different authors I've read before (I love a good thriller / "who done it" type book for recreational reading). They were all on sale for $4.17 - could NOT resist that! Anyway, I personally love the simplicity of the AF choice. Maybe if I had addressed my problem years ago before it got as bad as it did, I could focus on mods and be successful like so many here have been able to do. But on my list of reasons I WOULD want to drink, it sort of boils down to only one reason - my brain wants to get drunk. That's not a good enough reason for me to want to drink.

Louise, I am mighty jealous of your camping trip!!!! Have fun - can't wait to hear the details when you get back. I love your avatar by the way. UP UP AND AWAY!!! That's something I've never done that is on my list of things to do while I'm still kickin' it here.

DG
Day 10 AF * * * * * * * * * *

[louise]

Newbies in need - Day 20

DG - I've tried to go ballooning several times and weather never cooped. Will keep trying. Did parachute once and parasail once. Avatar chosen for world famous balloon festival held here every fall. Hundreds of balloons in mass accension. Quite a sight.

[louise]

Newbies in need - Day 20

DG - avatar was chosen because of huge balloon festival held here each fall. Hundreds of them in mass ascension. Beautiful. I have tried to go several times but weather did not coop. Will keep trying. Did parachute once - wow! And parasailed in Hawaii once. Do like those heights!

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in need - Day 20

Louise I've seen photos of the big balloon festival. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to watch that one day. NO FAIR that the weather didn't cooperate for the times you planned to ride.

I too walked out of an airplane that was NOT on the ground before. I didn't solo - did a tandem jump. But still - THAT was one of the more exhilerating experiences in my life! Another SUPER fun thrill was going a couple time to Fighter Pilots USA when I lived in Florida. If they still exist, they are near the Orlando area. You go up in little training planes and get to take the controls once in the air (there are two sets of controls in the trainers). Once you learn how to do some basic maneurvering you have an immitation dog fight with another crazy person- preferably someone you know which makes it highly fun. It's all captured on video which is reviewed later to determine who wins the dog fight. WHEE now THAT was a HOOT!!

You better TELL TELL TELL when you finally do get that balloon ride!! Hope you will also alert and link an event site that has pics when the big fest comes around this fall!

Where are you going to camp? I bet there are many beautiful places in your neck of the woods (well, dessert and mountains and stuff???)

DG

[rottrod]

Newbies in need - Day 20

Hi everyone,
I've been in and out for a couple of weeks, just too much going on. I've been lurking some though, mostly late at night. No drinking issues though I'm happy to report. Just work and family stuff. I went to my nieces wedding over the weekend. I didn't like to do family function with DH's side of the family because they are non-drinkers. This time the thought didn't even cross my mind and we had a lovely day.

If it has not been said before, Doggygirl I have to say you have been such a welcome addition to this thread. You are so down to earth with such a raw honesty that is so refreshing. You have not met Bluesky yet. She is sway on a "medical leave" and we hope she is recovering and will be returning to us soon but you remind me a lot of her. I always looked for ward to her posts every morning. It sounds like you are doing very well.

Mary, I'm so encouraged by your progress and insight. I do have to say that I am one of the fortunate ones that has a husband who does apologize, is not selfish and never throws things I did while drunk back in my face. I thank God every day for him and would never take him for granted and it strengthens my resolve to stay sober and not put him through any more hell. I did used to use stress from the job or family as an excuse to fume and drink more though.

Sheshe it sounds like someone made you do some housework this morning......LOL have a great day

Almost Famous..we have not met yet..hope to see you around a lot.

Louise, darling you know I love you, but you are taking entirely too many vacations, I miss you. :upset: OK OK Have a great time.

Have a great day everyone.

[Almostfamous]

Newbies in need - Day 20

Hi Rotrod- Nice to meet you. I too have a great hubby, thankfully. He (and my daughter) are the main reasons (besides doing it for my mental and bodily health) I am changing my ways.

DG- I ended up empty handed at the bookstore but my daughter lucked out. I took good care of her with my gift card. I will go back for me one of these days. I am leaning more toward not drinking at as I fear moderation could turn into more than moderation. I made a commitment to have an af weekend as I already have a head start. It may be easier to be af in the long run. I went for a looong run this morning. Does my butt look smaller yet???? huh? huh? : )

[Almostfamous]

Newbies in need - Day 20

Louise- your part of the country is BEAUTIFUL! I am envious. Also love your avatar! : )

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in need - Day 20

Good to see you Rottrod and thanks for the positive words! (***psst yer check is in the mail**) Glad to hear your program is rocking right along and you're just busy. LOL - my in laws don't drink either. I'm STILL not looking forward to our next get together, but I'm sure you have figured out where this sentence is headed - my dread has nothing to do with booze. I can't wait to meet Bluesky.

Which reminds me - I forgot to (((((((((((((((Janice))))))))))))))))))) today. Janice I hope you are hangin' in there. And of course hugs to all who are struggling.

AF - now here is something important that we have to get straight. There is 3D life - you know - in your house, where the mirrors are, where the clothes get tight for real, etc. Then there is 2D life - like here. Where are are no literal 3D mirrors or any 3D tight pants. In 2D here on the internet, we not only have perfect butts, but we have perfect boobies too. You know - they are the perfect size - whatever size that is - and they stand up all by themselves with no surgery - even if you are 49 like me.

That being said, you are a wonderful person for running when nobody was chasing you. (I assume nobody was chasing you??) And I am quite sure your 3D billboard will command less money on e-bay today with that smaller ad space.

Keep smilin'!!

DG
Day 10AF * * * * * * * * * * (gold stars)

[Almostfamous]

Newbies in need - Day 20

DG- Can you believe that nobody (not even a wild dog) was chasing me? You are one funny chick! I used to run a lot but then I got depressed before and after moving and stopped. Then my drinking increased (a regular picture of health eh?) but now I am on a better path. I'll be 2D for real in no time. BTW I need a new avatar. I need to do some searching.