Newbies in need - Day 21

[retteacher]

Dear Friends: I just put my 11th zero in DT for yesterday & am starting today feeling fresh & new. My life is opening up.

I was raised to:
-not make waves.
-work very hard.
-make other people happy.
I carried that ethic into adult life & got carried away w/it. I had a demanding career where I did more than my share. At home as a wife & mother, I did the same thing. It's no surprise that the only way I found to relax & kick back was w/alcohol. Nothing else had the reliable, no-frills remedy that I felt I needed. Now, I have to learn to:
-ask for help.
-say what's on my mind.
If I fall back into my old ways, I know I'll drink.

I hope all of you are well & happy.
Love, Mary

[wakupmom]

Newbies in need - Day 21

Well done on day 11 Mary!
I can relate totaly regards the giving thing,you have nothing left do you.Its so good you can see it and understand that that was the biggest trigger.Make sure you take something back now.
Hi to everone else heres to a good weekend what ever your plans xx

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in need - Day 21

Happy Saturday!

Mary, CONGRATULATIONS on completing day 11 and moving on to day 12. And thank you for another insightful post. You are really working through a lot. These vices don't come alone - they come with a lot of baggage I'm finding out. The kind of soul searching you are doing to address the baggage will help you keep your quit I'm guessing. I take a lesson from you every day Mary!!

Hi wakeupmom! You sound good and hopefully you have some fun plans for the weekend.

Hello all to come, and huge hugs to those who need them today (((Janice))), (((roxanne))), (((any others who need a hug))).

Kick in pants or dusting off of britches to anyone who needs those too. With all the lurve in the world of course!

It's Day 11 for me and I'm feeling a little tired, but that's light years better than feeling somewhere between a little and a lot hung over! I'm really happy to be alcohol free, even in those moments where thoughts of drinking are in my head. I should have done this a long time ago. But we can't change the past, so I'm just thrilled to be here TODAY alcohol free. It's dog training day so there are bound to be some triggers. I know what they are, and I had practice at this last weekend, so I know I will not choose to drink. MAN that feels good!

I think I have a yeast problem - I posted asking for input in the Holistic section. So if you have personally dealt with a yeast (Candida) overgrowth in your digestive system, I would love to hear what course of action you took to get rid of it - especially if you used natural products rather than prescription (i.e. Diflucan sp).

Have a great day everyone!

DG
Day 11 * * * * * * * * * * *(my gold stars!)

[nancy]

Newbies in need - Day 21

So it's weekend time!

I read the posts from yesterday. Welcome back Rottrod! you are right, Doggy girl is a bit reminiscent of one of our favorite newbies in need-- bluesky. Doggy Girl, Bluesky led this thread for a while but had to take a break from MWO for a while. She was very positive and motivating.

I haven't been feeling very happy lately, going through a difficult period, but I am not drinkking to cope with it. Like Mary, I have identified reasons for drinking. I have often turned to drinking due to unhappiness, loneliness or emotional upset.

I need to find other strategies now. I do the hypno, but not consistently. i find it hard to find time. I got some Amber O Douls and they taste great. Granted they have more calories than the original.

I am trying to decide about antidepressants. I read that they make you gain weight so I went off of them, but the depression is coming back. I don't want to take pills. I ordered some inositol, b vitamin shown to improve mood, but they have not come yet.

[stillcrawling]

Newbies in need - Day 21

Back after a break

I had 57 days AF until I had an unexpected family event and I tailspinned. I had been on medical leave from my job and my healing was really progressing ... then I could not handle life -- my sister was placing unexpected demands on me as she was making poor choices related to her marriage of 7 years w/ two young children involved. I have always been thee for my family but at this point I can't give -- and the problem now with my sister (who is 35 I am 38) is that she now expects and demands help -- she can be verbally abusive and has her own issues. I could not deal and that's when I started drinking wine again -- nothing major but enough to mess with my head -- I was recovering from a broken foot and fell walking my dog and broke a rib -- I mean BROKE the rib... the pain was and still is excruciating.
Ret -- I remember you starting and offering encouragement -- now I am the one who needs it --
Nancy I too drink when I feel lonely and now is a time when I am vulnerable...
I need to "reneter" our community.
Doggiegirl you are a nice addition as I do not recall seeing past posts from you.
For Now,
Liz

[nancy]

Newbies in need - Day 21

Welcome back liz

this is a very vulnerable time for me too. But I am looking at myself with curiosity these days. Why would you do something as self-destructive as getting wasted to make yourself feel better? That is what I ask myself. I sometimes think it is an immature response to life's pressures, however bad. I am about your age and have been responding this way for years. What is the point in it? you look around, feel a lack of support and are upset, so what then? you tear yourself down with hangovers associated with bad depressions? it doesn't make any sense to me. it's almost like telling the world to f*** off and going into self destruct mode. But it's actually a childish and very emotionally driven way to deal with things.

I am really sorry to hear about your rib. The only thing to do is progress one step at a time. I think you need to let the issues with your sister go right now as you recover. Recovery takes patience, I am finding (with another issue I am grappling with). And you have to try not to panic about it, just take it one step at a time and let your rib heal. that is a pretty big deal. Were you drunk when it happened?

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in need - Day 21

Hi Liz. Thank you for the welcome. I feel bad for you - it sounds like you are down with injuries right now - and could probably use some family support coming your way. But it sounds like the family is still making demands on you. That can be a tough balancing act. All of us have needs - OUR spirits need to be fed in order that we have something to GIVE to others. Sounds like the street is going mostly one way for you, and it's maybe draining you? Hope you can sort that out. Mean time, I look forward to getting to know you better. Best wishes to you for all of your goals today, and especially whatever goals you have related to the BoozeBeast.

DG
Day 11 AF

[stillcrawling]

Newbies in need - Day 21

healing mode

Nancy & DoggieGirl thanks for the supportive words.
Nancy I was sober when I fell but I was unsteady as I was not eating right and drinking wine the night before... it happened in the early AM. I was making very poor choices & I agree with your post -- I could feel the depression coming on but could not stop. I saw my psychiatrist on Thursday and she nailed me to the wall -- she could tell I had been drinking as I had been crying prior to the appt and was and am thinner ... I had lost weight due to my foot and I think that is one reason the rib cage was vulnerable -- it sticks out... but the pain meds made me sick and I could not eat. My boyfriend brought me some liquid protein supps. He is frustrated because we can't make love but he is being very supportive -- but it has been a struggle for him (UGH!) He does not drink at all which is good and he was soooo supportive during my tailspin and he never enabled -- because I thought I was hiding it so well -- but he knew. I made the mistake of making 2 phone calls to work and it was clear that I was lit -- when my boss e-mailed me to STOP -- I blamed it on being "overly medicated with pain meds" which in many ways was true but I was drinking wine -- it actually was a moderate amount -- compared to earlier days but when mixed with little food and all these meds -- NOT COOL! And, I KNOW BETTER -- I think that is why I am so down now... I now screen my sister's calls -- it hurts because she uses everyone including me... help me to snap out of this! My psychiatrist increased my Neurontin to 600 mg -- it actually has a dual purpose it has helped with my foot injury and also serves as a mood stabilizer -- all I know is that the increase has made me ill... I have read as much as I can about it... I feel so toxic. I go back to work Monday per DR.note only 4 hours per day -- I am an administrator at a major University and now also feel panicked b/c I have been on medical leave for so long -- the rib has set me back and is one of the most complicated injuries to heal... UGH!!!!
Help me to move forward without falling! Liz

[nancy]

Newbies in need - Day 21

Liz

sounds like you have so much on your plate. you need to focus on things one at a time and focus on the things you can control. you can't control your rib injury, just try to be more careful in future. you can't control your boyfriend's frustration. you can't control your sister so i think it is good to screen the calls.

i think problems are easier when we take them in bits and pieces instead of looking at them as a whole big mess. watching your drinking while taking all these meds sounds essential. you need to protect your place at work, work brings a lot of stability.

i think it would be good for you to take a break from drinking if possible while you are taking all these meds to just focus on getting well.

Good luck with all this...

[stillcrawling]

Newbies in need - Day 21

Nancy -- I am glad to be back -- you have offered (again) very sound advice .. I agree to break it down & need to be AF while on meds... I ready the NYT article and I too have a hole in my soul I'll keep posting... hope you are doing well ... saw your question about GABA and am curious about the reply ...
DG -- I have a pug and he is my boy ...
I'll post more -- I've been reading trying to catch up... lots of new faces... but good to get updates on some of the old timers...
For Now, Liz

[retteacher]

Newbies in need - Day 21

Liz: I'm so glad you are back. I don't know what else to say except that. You'll get back on track I'm sure of it. Mary

[christine32]

Newbies in need - Day 21

Hello all

[Janice]

Newbies in need - Day 21

Liz I can relate to your post so much. You have got to put yourself first - you are right to screen your sister's calls, you've got to make yourself the priority and get yourself well.
I have spent years dealing with family problems - caused through my mam's alcoholism. Everything was always negative, draining and everyone called me even though I live 300+ miles away, my sister would call me to sort something out that was only 3 miles away from her!! Luckily I have a very supportive husband and kids and it sounds as if you've got support too. It really does drain you. I have been on anti-depressants in the past and I must admit, after losing dad 3 wks ago, this week I was sooo close to making an appoint with the Drs. and might still have to, but I think we get to a point where we are so down, we can't go any further. That's got to be the turning point. After the last few weeks I know I've got to be a little bit selfish, get myself well, and concentrate on healing my body and my mind, and to keep coming on here - you do too Liz. You have done 57 AF days, you are a strong person and will get back on track. Look after yourself, Janicexxxx

[Doggygirl]

Newbies in need - Day 21

Liz I love little pugs - they are so cute!! A very dear friend of mine's Mom always has a pug. She used to breed and show them in younger years, but since she "retired" from that, she "adopts" a retired show or breeding pug when that part of their career is over. She gives them a pampered life for their remaining years. I love those little guys!! You can always count on the unconditional love of your doggy.

I'm glad to hear you have a very supportive BF too. That really helps. The advice given by Nancy and Janice seems very sensible. You need to heal yourself on the inside and outside before you have much to give to others. You deserve to be good to yourself and go for a good life.

Hugs,
Dg
Day 12 AF * * * * * * * * * * * *