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    My mate hanged himself 6 days ago

    I'm stella and volka drinker, I've been free of both for six months untill three days ago. Two events in the last 6 days has sent me back to my double life again.

    My mate is married to my work colleague a path Doc. down town melb, (pat) . Pat and I have been naughty, both of us drink at work, sometimes we share Russian volka in full view of our work mates pretending it is water. Sometimes after work pat and I would go down victoria Road for after work drink. It's really bad, when her husband would call she would shout loud, I'm busy while we are all behind laughtering sharing few drinks with her.

    Yes our job is very stressful, we pick up bodies from homes, roadside, river, lakes, in the bush etc , we pick up men, women, old and young people. It is my job to open them up to establish the cause of death, prepare report for the police and the court.

    I know that pat have been sleeping around for months if not years both I could not tell my mate, when I hinted my mate, pat's husband that all is not well with his wife he when on my throat, since then I left things they way they are.

    My mate hanged himself in his bedroom 6 days ago, I'm not sure I'm allow to post his suicide note, he said that Patrick Davies his his college mate in the medical school who he has not seen for 12 years met him a week ago. As they were chatting , Patrick told him that he has been having it with path doc. whom his husband is a dead and that the dead man is a F***B***. After a brief discussion my mate realised that it is his wife actually.

    My mate complained that pat drinking has ruined their family, their two sons are heavy drinkers and both could not make their grades in the college. Since the last 6 months I've been sober I realised how unreliable, excusing giving, blame culture, selfish, dirty, aggressive, a cheat, wasteful and fit for no purpose an alcoholic can be. I'm ever sorry to my partner,I do not want to put my own wife through all these again as a result of my drinking . I do not know how to make it up to her.

    All the aggressive postures, shouting loud, inability to do a thing at home, my wife have been a great lady. i am always blaming her for my drinking problems, I use to tell her if she could be more caring and passionate I would not be drinking so heavily, i know it is all lies. i never tell her the mistake I do at work with pat because we are half of the times drunk on duty. Thank God these mistakes are found out, because they could put innocent people to jail. I use to feel that everybody in our department drinks to get through the day, I now know it is not true.

    My ex wife 16 yrs ago, use to blame me for not having a baby problem, we married for 10 years with no baby. she will go on and on at me, untill one day I found out her double life, I came home and saw a fellow on top of her. She blamed me for her action she said if I could give her a baby she would not have slept out. We seperated for two years and get back together, after which we went to do a check up, my counts were ok, but her inside could not hold a baby,she decided to leave, even though it has been my fault according to to her for 12 yrs. After she left I started drinking to help me get through the day. Now I heard she got two children through IVF. I 'm ruined with drinking problems and making my wife who has been nice to me to hate me now.

    I met my present wife 16 years ago, it has not been easy living with drinking problems, i could not tell her the truth about my ex and what she did to me. I have as a result made her life a hell, even though she is truely a nice lady. I even blamed her for my drinking behaviour, our two boys are not happy of the situation of things, my wife have given me untill december to change or she will leave, I have stopped and started again, i do not know what to do, I will surely take my life if she leaves.

    can any one help me pls!!!!

    G_laughter
    Now I've found the secrets, I WILL remain sober for ever!!

    The key to remain sober forver:

    Attraction: To Jenny not the bottle

    Give & take: Love

    Gravity & Kama : What goes up most come down

    Secrets & lies: If you have notthing to hide, you can not tell lies, sorrow and guilt will not be your friend much longer.

    #2
    My mate hanged himself 6 days ago

    I really don't know what to say. A very sad story there. Please stick around with us and get back to a sober life as you were doing so well.

    My suggestion would be to read through the posts, post questions and download the book for starters. Get some supplements to build the nutrients back up in your body again.

    Your family is worth your sobriety. It really is worth trying for. Hang around and see if this place can motivate you to get well again.

    Comment


      #3
      My mate hanged himself 6 days ago

      I have sent you a message, I am sorry for what happened.
      I feel as though it's all happening to someone right next to me.
      I'm close, I can feel it, I can hear it, but it isn't really me.

      Marilyn Monroe

      Comment


        #4
        My mate hanged himself 6 days ago

        I am really sorry to read your story, it must be devastating. I agree wholeheartedly
        with Accountable. Your sobriety is worth working for. So best of luck.
        Paula.
        .

        Comment


          #5
          My mate hanged himself 6 days ago

          G-laugh, you know you need to beat this and obviously you care...since you are here. I'd suggest staying tight with MWO with all your heart and let us help you help yourself to win this. Download the book as Accountable recommended and start the supplements/nutrition and talk more with us on what has and hasn't been helpful in the past...you've done a brilliant job with 6months...you know you can do this.
          nosce te ipsum
          (Know Thyself)

          Comment


            #6
            My mate hanged himself 6 days ago

            thank you I'm trying
            Now I've found the secrets, I WILL remain sober for ever!!

            The key to remain sober forver:

            Attraction: To Jenny not the bottle

            Give & take: Love

            Gravity & Kama : What goes up most come down

            Secrets & lies: If you have notthing to hide, you can not tell lies, sorrow and guilt will not be your friend much longer.

            Comment


              #7
              My mate hanged himself 6 days ago

              Your story is very sad. I am sorry for your pain. Please don't give up.
              Gabby :flower:

              Comment


                #8
                My mate hanged himself 6 days ago

                LAUGHTER,
                I know that in your heart the laughter has died...I had a cousin of mine murded. I really cared about him, even though he worked as bouncer in some lousy bar. His murder has never been solved; and never will be. His picture was plastered all over the local news paper ( crime scene photos ) Hard for me to take. My heart goes out to you. IAD
                ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
                those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
                Dr. Seuss

                Comment


                  #9
                  My mate hanged himself 6 days ago

                  I am so sorry for your loss, and even with all that has happened, you sound like an unbelievably stong person...look at all you have been through. You made it 6 months once, you can do it again, and longer. Stick aorund,t here are some great people here.
                  It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
                  James Gordon, M.D.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    My mate hanged himself 6 days ago

                    G-Laughter welcome and you have been through a lot and you sound like you are really motivated to change. I hope that taking this step and posting here will be the beginning you need. There is so much information on these boards and so many wise people. I encourage you to just keep talking. If you post in General Discussion you will get a lot of responses because that is one of the heaviest populated forums as well as Just Starting Out.

                    Take Care.
                    "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

                    Comment


                      #11
                      My mate hanged himself 6 days ago

                      Hang in there, mate. It's easy to say. But we're a good little community here. I guess, having hit rock bottom, it can only get better. Alcoholism is one root evil. Once you're able to tackle that with help of friends and support, like here, you can move on to tackle the emotional side. And as I noticed in my own life, some problems actually solve themselves ...
                      Paddy
                      Time's fun when you're having flies. - Kermit the Frog - eace:

                      Comment


                        #12
                        My mate hanged himself 6 days ago

                        Thank U mate
                        Now I've found the secrets, I WILL remain sober for ever!!

                        The key to remain sober forver:

                        Attraction: To Jenny not the bottle

                        Give & take: Love

                        Gravity & Kama : What goes up most come down

                        Secrets & lies: If you have notthing to hide, you can not tell lies, sorrow and guilt will not be your friend much longer.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          My mate hanged himself 6 days ago

                          The pain will ease eventually, praying for you G, don't give up yourself..

                          Diamond x
                          I feel as though it's all happening to someone right next to me.
                          I'm close, I can feel it, I can hear it, but it isn't really me.

                          Marilyn Monroe

                          Comment


                            #14
                            My mate hanged himself 6 days ago

                            Thank u for your support paddy
                            Now I've found the secrets, I WILL remain sober for ever!!

                            The key to remain sober forver:

                            Attraction: To Jenny not the bottle

                            Give & take: Love

                            Gravity & Kama : What goes up most come down

                            Secrets & lies: If you have notthing to hide, you can not tell lies, sorrow and guilt will not be your friend much longer.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              My mate hanged himself 6 days ago

                              Thank you everyone, your suppoort has been great. Stopping drinking, trying my best to support Jenny with the twos lads,reading the postings of many of you in this site has been of great encouragement to me.
                              Now I've found the secrets, I WILL remain sober for ever!!

                              The key to remain sober forver:

                              Attraction: To Jenny not the bottle

                              Give & take: Love

                              Gravity & Kama : What goes up most come down

                              Secrets & lies: If you have notthing to hide, you can not tell lies, sorrow and guilt will not be your friend much longer.

                              Comment

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