Really, really panicky....

[Finding My Self]

Hello - I have posted in Booze Busters (new one) if anyone can read it and...
I've not been so close to a drink for 79 days... I'm so scared....
Thanks special friends...
Feet x

[hart]

Really, really panicky....

Why do u feel exceptionally tempted today hon?:l

[betty boop]

Really, really panicky....

Hi Feet, take deep breaths ....

In ...............

Out ............

Have you got the hypno tapes ..........

Keep us posted, BB xx

[Finding My Self]

Really, really panicky....

Hart and BB - thanks soooh much for your posts.... not a drop passed my lips...!
I have posted about it again on Booze Busters 8/31 but will come back here tomororw (today...) as it's 3.30am and I think sleep would be the best remedy....!!!
I hope you guys are doing ok...like, really well... I'll read up tomorrow...
Thanks again,
Feet x

[memarcie]

Really, really panicky....

I agree, time for bed and you will feel much better in the morning knowing you made it through a pretty rough day without drinking.

Sweet dreams

[mysticaldreamer]

Really, really panicky....

Wow! thats great, Feet, 79 days!! i'm at day 2, so scared, i dont know why, scared of reality? possibly. You keep it up! You give me confidence that i might be able to do this too.
Brea

[Finding My Self]

Really, really panicky....

Guys, I am sooh scared... I feel worse then I can remember. Lisa (?but thank you whoever) said somewhere to think about whether I want to be back to day 1 tomorrow or day 81? Day 81 ..but what for? He's gone and there's only me down here in this Godforsaken county and none to talk to...I can't drive (my fault) till next July and he was my wheels as well - not that that was why I was with him but it's just another reminder of what's happened... Tomorrow he goes away and wont even be round the corner... I want to go home to my friends and family. I want to tell 'him' I've split up with 'him' and I'm scared; he's been my rock for so long and all the 81 days ...I don't want a drink (lie?) I just want to feel the joy I felt only 36 short hours ago.... I'm so tense I haven't the energy to do anything to take my mind off it, I can't go out my eyes are so puffy and I think I'd be sick if I ate anything... Why am I such a blob about this - I'm not 15 for God's sake... Is it because I haven't been here stone cold sober ever? In that even 20 years ago I could have a drink in the evening?...
I was sooh strong and confident 24 hours ago...what the hell happened? Why did I suddenly see that it wasn't going to work out? Where'd that come from at such a time of joy? Why do I fu**k everything up? I had exactly the feelings I wanted and threw them away....? Too greedy.
I am thinking of you all - I really hope I'm not depressing you... My kids are back later - wont be alone.
Thanks. Anyone else really struggling, let's stick together and not cave in? Praises to everyone adding days to their numbers.

Lost My Feet x

Sorry, it's just that MWO out is all I've got just now. Just self-pity eh? And David-o-lism... I'll be back more cheerfully soon - I 'always' am but this time feels different....?

[nancy]

Really, really panicky....

I think when you get into a bad emotional state it is tempting to have a drink. the funny thing is, i am finding that if you don't have the drink and weather the storm, the bad feelings go away on their own. sometimes i have gone to bed feeling really sad and depressed, and did not drink for a change. then i wake up feeling much better. It's a great lesson to learn.

since it is late there in england, i advise you to go to sleep early! in the meantime, watch a DVD or TV show till it is time. Or call a friend.

[Finding My Self]

Really, really panicky....

Thanks guys, thanks Nancy - I am being far too self pitying. I haven't really got anything to worry about; I'm alive! Thanks for coming back so quickly.

Mystical - I'm scared too! But different. I remember day 2 scary: hang in there. Ride the days 3 and 4 (possibly) scary and by 5 you'll feel so much better. Despite all I'm feeling now, you've reminded me that I don't want to go back there. I've felt great for too many days now to start again. Thanks for helping me!
Good, good, good luck and courage.
Feet x

[hart]

Really, really panicky....

How r u doing now hon? Hang in there and if worse comes to worse maybe you can arrange to go home for awhile? Thinking of u:l

[Guest]

Really, really panicky....

81 days is an enormous achievement FMF..........whatever happens in your life, please don`t let all your hard work slip away.

Many of us drank as a way of managing stress. Part of being AF is learning to handle whatever life may throw at us, without being "under the influence".

Alcohol cannot change or solve a single thing.

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[Chief]

Really, really panicky....

81 Days!!! Please don't drink...please. Don

[Finding My Self]

Really, really panicky....

Hart, BB, Marcie, Mystical, Nancy and Don -
Thank you so much...your support has meant the world - means the world!
No, I haven't drunk and got out this afternoon and got myself on the edge of this hole but at least still not right in it!
You're all doing so well with your own stuff - so I'm back joining you in this... In town I walked thru the booze aisles (only cos that was the way thru the shop!) and realised that whyam I scared of drinking when looking at it and thinking of it didn't do anything for me at all!!! My brains scrambled enough thru all this without that whoosh of brain-zap that I would regret as soon as it happened! I had a banana!!!
Have a good day/evening/whatever and thanks again.
See you on the other posts!!!
Feet xx

[betty boop]

Really, really panicky....

Feet, well done love .....

Don't make me come to cornwall to sort you out!!!!

Ok then make me come, its only my favourite place in the UK for holiday .....

Love & Hugs, BB xx

[paula]

Really, really panicky....

Feet, sorry your feeling bad (sounds understandable) but at least you haven't
picked up a drink, so please dont, you have done so well, if you pick up that
drink you will feel as though you have let yourself down, it's not worth it.
Take care. Love Paula.xx