Rough night

[memarcie]

I sent this PM to Hart tonight:

I bought wine today. Made it two days and even until 8pm tonight before I went and bought any. It was just the only thing on my mind and I'm struggling through this. Gosh it didn't seem so hard the first time,but then again there were other circumstances involved.

I really need to put my all into this again because I haven't been, just kinda reading and learning. I'm sure I still have some of the supps around the house, I just haven't had the motivation to look.

I did commit to starting to read the book Dry with Mags tonight. Maybe I just need to finish this glass and read. I've only had one glass.

Don't tell me to pour it out because I don't think I can do that. Stupid me found 2 partial wine bags(ya know the ones that are in boxes of wine), and I put them in the freezer downstairs where hubby wouldn't see. Today after work I drank them, it was barely 2 glasses, but then 3 hours later I was still craving it and couldn't stop myself.

I don't even want to send this, PM, but I will.


I appreciate anyones thoughts and comments.

[pansy]

Rough night

Hey Marcie,

I am sorry that you are struggling so much with this. Guess you would not be too surprised to hear that I think you should get all alcohol out of the house. Why tempt yourself? You made it TWO days when you knew there was alcohol in the house? Pretty good, I think (that would not have happened with me).

Day 3 is always so tough. You almost made it. Get right back on tomorrow with another day of AF .... That will make it 3 out of 4 days, AF. The booze will just be leaving your system a little slower, especially if you have only had a little bit.

I hope that things get better with the AF. You know why you quit the first time, and in some ways the reasons now are not quite the same. Yet, your health is the most important thing and that is what you gain by not drinking. It can ONLY lead to bad things for you, so I hope that your next few days are not as uncomfortable.

Hugs,
Pansy

[Accountable for Me]

Rough night

Marcie, I cannot say anymore than Pansy has already said. Day 3's were always the hardest for me. From what I have read from the newer members it seems it is with them as well. It seems a lot of us have something in common (no matter how far we are in our sobriety). Day 3 is the hardest.

Hang in there. We are rooting for you.

[Beaches]

Rough night

Hey Marcie,
Glad that you opened up here and decided to share with everyone. I know that you are struggling and I also know that you have all the power in yourself to go AF again when you are ready.

Dry is an excellent book and I have listened to it on Audio CD at least 5 times now and never get bored with it.

You will pour that last glass of wine out when your are ready and no one can tell you any different. I just hope you know that we are all here for you and supporting you all the way. The day you decide this is it and you are done we will be here. You know what it takes girlfriend, you did it before and you can do it again.

We can only want this as much as you do. Take the plunge, get back to where you were before. DO THIS FOR YOU!

[Determinator]

Rough night

kickass Marcie!

[SKendall]

Rough night

Hi Marcie, I know this is tough. But you are so doing the right thing by expressing it on the site. Isolation doesn't work, it just enables. If you don't have it in the house you then have to start dealing with the cravings and then you rely on the supplements and your mind to switch off the cravings. Replace these cravings initially with ice cream, chocolate, etc. because your body is screaming for the sugar from the alcohol.

Drink lots of water to flush and lots of juice. You can do this.

[lushy]

Rough night

Hi Marcie,

You have gone six months AF recently and from what I remember (I was very new on the boards when you were first here), you seemed to handle it so well and with ease. What is different this time around other than the health issue being over with? Are you feeling like now that you are healthy that you can "let loose"? If you did that long of time before you can do it again. If moderation is something you are trying to do, then it sounds like you have kept within moderating guidelines tonight if you stayed at three glasses. But if that is not something you are comfortable doing then I hope you find something that works. The supps, the CDs; all of that is so helpful as I am sure you already know.

[memarcie]

Rough night

Thanks everyone for your comments. Of course I would love to be able to moderate, just not sure I can do it. Hubby even made a comment to that effect last night. We talked about drinking and I'm going to give it my best shot.


I am going to re-read MWO and get back on the supps, etc. I have so much to do for work I'm reading work stuff most night lately, but I will make time for reading other helpful things as well.


:h

[Flip]

Rough night

It really is much easier to go AF than to moderate. It's like trying to have ONE peanut!

[Finding My Self]

Rough night

Hey Marcie
Hang in there, when you're ready, start again and get past Day 3....not nice but the feelings only mean you are that close to having no more in your system...it is a good sign that only feels it isn't....

I had a s**t day yesterday but all these lovely bods helped me realised that, for me, the feelings that led me to drink before will never go away....anxiety, fear, hurt. If I'm alive that is. (That's the grim bit!!) But when I feel them, not only do I not have to drink but the feelings do NOT mean "I am about to pick one up so, why the heck, I'll do it anyway"! That's just a physical habit (get a glass in my hand) but now I EAT CHOCOLATE!!! (much less now that in the first two weeks but...!) And my 'treat' is coffee with 'squirty' cream (the crappy aerosol stuff) on it and chocolate powder sprinkled on..... I know, I know - UN-healthy but better than booze!! And the coffee's silly weak! The making of it helps too... AND I've lost 10lbs!!

So, just in case that helps... FInd something, anything else (or even lots of things) that become your new treat just for a bit to get you last the first week...

I felt sooh much better when I realised I just might not be craving a drink but just in the throes of an old physical habit. I could say no to that. 'Craving' is rather a scary, "I'll never cope with that" sort of word - well, to me anyway! Like it's my body that I have no control over or something but a 'Habit' I do...

Well, good luck love, thinking of you...

Let us know how you're doing.

Feet x

[gabby]

Rough night

Marice,
Com'on.....don't do this to yourself. :upset:

[me145]

Rough night

hey girl. Ok, i would never be able to have alcohol in the house without thinking about it being there and wanting it. i dont keep any in my house. although i live with my parents, but mostly myb f now, who drinks everday, so it is hard. This is my 6th day AF, however, i would not have been able to do it without purposely getting on a medication for an infection I have ( my choice vs one that would not cause vomiting if i drank) I cannot drink on this med or ill be vomiting. 100 percent. so it has helped me. i started last saturday, its now thursday. i cant tell u how much better my mind feels. my depression is just about gone ( im taking supplements for it such as tyrosene and 5-htp, but while drinking had no effect and i was always down and worrying) anyway. i am going to try moderation after my seven days are up on this medication. i want to do a month AF in September, but knew I had events coming up in the next two weeks such as vacation with my bf, and weddings, that i did not want to start my monthly AF until September 1. my bf and i are supposedly going to do it together. like i said though, without this med, my gosh... i startd last saturday and i had to sit on my first damn day with my bf and his annoying friends chattingit up, being silly, drinking first at his house, then at bars, and then the following day at their house.. ugh! it was hard and its not like im sitting with my friends, im not exactly fond of his friends. Anyway, this may sound sick but i know there is medications out there specifically for alcohol that if you start taking them you have to kep away from alcohol or you will vomit and be very sick... when i try my AF in september, i will probably get them, because with this med im on now that i cannot drink with for seven days, its helped tremendousally. drinkin as just been out ofthe question. and i feel great now. its day six, and my depression is gone ( amazed) and i know i also will lose some pounds if i stayed like this. but saturday im going way to jersey shore for the weekend on vacation so im sure ill be drinking saturday night. we'll see. anway, goodluck. it is very hard inthe beginning. i would def look to some medications, either topomax, or theo therone ( cant remember the name ) that wil cause vomitingif you drink....
:goodjob:

[hart]

Rough night

I answer your PM hon. :l

[Chief]

Rough night

Hi Marcie, The last time I caved was on day 3. This time day 3 was just as hard but I had sense enough to get on here and my fellow warriors helped me through it and today is day 6. It was just as hard this last time but I think I finally was ready to "do whatever it takes". Whenever you can really get your arms around this we will all be here ready to help you succeed. We can't do it for you though, but we're patient. We'll wait for you. Keep reading the posts. Don

[Arial]

Rough night

Hi Marcie -

I think your key word in your post is motivation - it seems health was a motivator before, so I'm very glad that was resolved, but maybe you need to find something else particular that will help keep you focused - children? family? health again (drinking does countless amounts of hidden damage!)? The future you want for yourself?

You've obviously done it before so I know you can do it again - so jump up on the wagon and continue rolling!

Warmest wishes