I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[propartychief]

Hey All,
hope everybody is doing well!!
I feel like shit!!!!
Last night I felt on top of the world! I came clean with my girl's. It was scarry for me but they wanted to know why I was spending so much time on the computer. So without a moments thought I told them!!!! And to my suprise they huged me and told how proud they were of me!!!!!!! One of the first things I did was come and share that. Then when the kids were in bed my wife totally got in my shit! Saying that I traded beer for this. We got in a big fight. I try to explain that FINALLY I understood that I had to totally change my self before I could be the husband and father that I want to be. And that you folk's are helping achieve that in way's I never thought possible!!And being here was helping my soul, (All the Love here) and not to drink(keeping my mind and hand's busy). To manke a long story short She deciced to sleep on the couch. This was the end of day 2 (on a weekend) and I "WAS"looking foward to day three with hope and joy in my heart!! Crappy end right??
So on top of the wife and I not getting along I am trying to end all subtcance abuse (alchol,smoking,smoking) in my life for the first time in 30 years all at once!!!
Today out of the blue my crew and about a third of thr others were laidoff due to the lack of work!!!!!!!!!!My stress, and emotions and the F-ING BEAST beat me.
I stopped and had 2 beers before I came home.
I feel accountable to everybody here and because of that I say I am SORRY!!!!!
Pray For me Bob :upset:

[Riker]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PPChief,

wow, that's one hell of a bad day and I am truly sorry that you are going through soooo much at the same time. I hope that your wife will wake up and realize just how hard you are working on beating this thing and becoming healthier.

Considering you had the day you did, I would say that 2 beers is nothing to be sorry about. It could have been a LOT worse.. so be proud of that fact. Don't get to down on yourself, you are still doing good in the face of extreme adversity.

Riker

[Bluebell]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prop! Don't feel you have to be accountable to us here! That will just add to your guilt and pain. You are accountable to yourself and yourself only.

There's always going to be stumbling blocks on the way,some huge, some tiny - it's up to you how you react to the situation. Try to get strong again and see things clearly. Talk to your wife. You've had the buzz of the feeling of getting this thing in hand, you'll get it again.

Things always seem to get worse before they can get better.

[janka]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Angel ...s top beating yourself over the head ... 2 beers is no big deal ... opt for improvement for today, not perfection and talk to us please. Ignore your wife a bit ... she doesn't realize what she's doing ... you haven't committed any crime and are doing better. Please talk

[memarcie]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PC - Can you explain to her that this site is helping you stay sober? Ask her to read some posts. Maybe encouraging ones that your read ahead of time. It is so soon into your staring to be sober for her to lash out like this. Are there other issues involved? I hope you can work things out.

:l

[Guest]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob...........Don`t ever say here that you`re sorry for having a wee blip and having a drink.

Just look at how your wife resents your involvement with this site, and then you got laid off work today............you`ve only had 2 beers..........didn`t get smashed out of your face.........forget the 2 beers........didn`t happen, right!!!!!!!

Now c`mon..........reawaken your fighting spirit and get back on track, right this minute.

You`ve been doing so well...........you`re gonna make it through the other side........trust me!!!!.........believe!!!!!......you got a family to fight to keep!!!!!

Love and strength coming your way,

Starlight Impress x

[propartychief]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well that went over like a fart in church!! I was just reading the post here and she asked if i had told that you all that i drank I said yes and read her the replies she fliped.
i don't think i spoke ill of her? this is going to be a long night !!!!!!

OH thanks for all the wonderfull support (starting over Tues.)

Bob

[Guest]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I sincerely hope that your wife comes to understand that your involvement with M.W.O., together with your 100% commitment, will afford her the sober husband and father she so desperately wants.

Saying a prayer that your wife will support you in your struggles.

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[janka]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She probably doesn't know any better and is terrified herself. Does she work, have friends/family or other support outside your house? Try not to drink more and just give her some space (yourself too) and don't get involved in any arguments right now
hang in there and be patient

[IAD]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P Chief !
Hang in thier ! Some days it feels like the world is killing you ! Lay low ! Take things slowly. Double up on your prozack ! Sorry I was being facious ! ha ha. Life is too short to worry about crazy stuff! Hang loose, Let things go ! Easy to say. hard to do ! Take care ! IAD

[julie001]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Share with her. Let her know that by logging on here you are finding a support group--much like AA. Only here, you don't socialize outside of cyperspace. We're a safe community. Invite her to log on and talk with all of the people here. I shared my involvement with this site with my husband when I became serious about finding support for my drinking problem. It took me several months to feel seriously connected to this website. And I have not stopped drinking--but I have made huge progress with general happiness in life. I really enjoy reading posts from newbies, but I especially enjoy reading posts from people who were here even before I first posted. This is a positive place to be as we face our demons. Good luck, PC.

Julie

[tawnyfrog]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Julie - such a good post. You mention "General happiness in life".

Sometimes, being here, we can actually unearth a problem which is not necessarily booze-related. Booze may be the way we chose to mask the problem - but connecting with other people in the same boat can make us see things from a different perspective.

And Prop ... hang in there.

[Bluebell]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good points. This site is very special and not only about "stopping" drinking. My example is that today, after a family birthday party last night, I am feeling good. This time last year, I was so hungover, I could hardly get through the day. I drank 3 glasses of wine last night, the third, I was not really bothered about. I really believe that something subliminal occurs as you read through the posts and interact with everyone here. I have come a long way in my "general happiness in life" thanks to this place.

[Hannah]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Propartychief

This is a message directly for your wife, and I invite you to let her read this.

This whole purpose of this site is to help and support one another in our quest to become sober. Many, many people have achieved that here, and many more are definitely on the road to recovery. We are not in any way trying to take any part of your husband away from you, in fact we would like to see just the opposite - that you will end up having a "whole" husband once again. In his very first post Bob made it plain that he loves you very much, and really wants to be come the sober husband and father that you would like him to be.

There is a lot of information available on this site also, for advice on how to manage cravings and withdrawal symptoms, as well as lots of advice on how to handle situations where you might feel tempted to drink, be it peer pressure, or just a bad day. As Bob reads posts, he will learn a lot, and can ask questions, etc.

I assure you there is no possible way this site could harm Bob's recovery. I hope you will become accepting of the possibility that this could be a real answer for both of you.

Wishing you both all the best, my deepest regards.

[Bella]

I COULD SEE THE END BUT IT ALL CRASHED DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello PC, I'm probably saying the wrong thing here but.......I knew my husband would be funny with me logging on here all the time, so I only log on when he is out and if he is around I have solitare to switch to when he comes over to the computer. I know that is wrong and we are supposed to "share" things with the ones we love but I wanted this time with MWO to myself. He does know about MWO as I told him about it, but I don't want him to share it with me. Its a personal thing.

I hope you can work things out with your wife. She sounds like she is just concerned and loves you very much.

Bella xxx