Just Wondering

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: I've never been on this forum, because I don't have very much sobriety yet (63 days). I do recognize a few screen names however. I was wondering about cravings. In the first 2 weeks of going off booze, I had strong cravings. I had to avoid certain stores & kept no wine in the house. After that initial period of time, the cravings decreased considerably. Now, after over 2 months of abstinence, I'm having thoughts about alcohol again. I'm aware of print & TV ads. We just had a party, & while I didn't drink at it, I was very aware of the bottles on the table & people refilling. Does this thinking go away eventually? Any strategies would be appreciated. My sobriety is the most important thing in my life right now. It was a long time coming. I don't want to go back to the way I was (black-outs, hangovers, etc.). Thank you so much, Mary

[Flip]

Just Wondering

If you are aiming for long term sobriety, then this is the right place for you!

The drink is a sly little bastard, and even now after over 9 months I still think about having a drink, but to be honest, the craving isn't really there, just the thought. Usually there is a trigger that sets it off.

Is it really a craving, or just a trigger? Sounds like a dangerous situation in which any one of us would falter..... Personally I'd stay away from drinking parties or places that remind you of drinking. And everytime you see an ad you can use that opportunity to reinforce your positive self messages eg "I don't drink that stuff anymore" I am so healthy and feel great" etc etc... very soon it will be an automatic response.

[retteacher]

Just Wondering

Flip: Thank you. Yes, I'm aiming for sobriety for life. I usually don't say that to myself, because it sounds so daunting. I'm working on 90 days right now (day 64 today). I think it's just a trigger not a craving. I don't think about drinking all the time, but the thoughts still creep in sometimes. It's surprising to know that even after 9 months, you still think about drinking.

Thank you for taking the time to share. Mary

[xtexan]

Just Wondering

Mary:

I'll be 21 months AF in 4 more days.

Like Flip said, those triggers will really get to you. I still have to find a way to manage them. Sometimes it's music, sometimes just seeing somebody on a TV show smiling and drinking sets me off, and I think about my past love for the drink.

Nowdays though, it only takes a split second for the new thinking to kick in, and I intensely remember the sickness, the poor health, the hangovers, the trouble, the screwed up relationships, the shame, the guilt, the broken glasses, the stains on the carpet, the missed appointments, on and on.....

The bad outweighs all else, and I think that even if I get to 5 years or 10 years AF, that I will still have to work my own program to stay the course. The one thing is that the lag time between the trigger making me think about some sort of booze "reward", and remembering the booze hell is very short these days. I must reinforce the thinking every day.

I believe relapse is our brains convienently "forgetting" about the hell we have endured in the past. This requires constant work. I visualize myself being a sorry, drunk, hungover mess as vividly as I can, and then dissolve that image into what I want to become.

Hang in there. It can be done.

Neil

[irishlady]

Just Wondering

Hi Mary,

I have been AF for almost one year now and I still get cravings for a drink.. Not as often as during the first few months and mostly they just tiptoe through my mind like a butterfly, hardly making any impression at all.. Sometimes though I feel as if I have been hit on the back of the head with a sledgehammer..

One of the things I do now is to stop focusing on what that first glass of wine would taste like and like Neil I take it all the way from the first glass to the second and third, then on to me opening that second bottle of wine and finishing that, finally staggering to bed, waking up several times during the night, feeling sick, heartburn, depressed, and finally having to get up the next morning and look at my self in the mirror knowing that once again I HAVE FAILED..

Then I ask myself two simple questions, IS THAT WHAT I WANT? IS THAT WHAT I'M CRAVING?

The answer is just as simple, NO IT ISN'T.

Hope that helps.

Louise xx

[retteacher]

Just Wondering

Thank you Xtex & Irish: I used visualizing the negatives of drinking in the beginning often. I am one of those people who do not have an "off" switch. I cannot have just one drink. When one of those thoughts tiptoe through my mind, I do forget that I never, ever have just one...like those lovely, glamorous folks on TV who seem to hold onto the same drink for a very long time...they don't gulp like I did. Thank you so much for your advice. Mary

[Mags]

Just Wondering

Reteacher
How I can relate. I do not have an off switch either. I have been almost completely AF for over two years, but still have cravings. What can I say? They get less forceful and less frequent and you just learn to live with them. They seem to come and go in waves - maybe a week or two very strong for me and then several weeks very quiet. I'm not sure if they ever totally vanish - I just think we get better at dealing with them and hopefully they get weaker and less frequent.
You are doing fabulously well. Just keep doing what you are doing. Hang in there on the tough days and know that there will be some easy days along the way also. I hate to sound like AA but it really is one day at a time.
:l :l

[retteacher]

Just Wondering

Thanks Mags: ODAT is a mainstay for me. I cannot look at a lifetime of abstinence wo/feeling like I want to rebel. Contact w/MWO is an absolute necessity for me. We have no social plans in the near future which include alcohol, & I think that's a good thing for me right now. Also, I must remember how terrible I felt physically, emotionally & spiritually when I was drinking. The more specific I am w/my memories, the more obnoxious drinking seems. It's not the warm glow & glamor that it's portrayed as. Thank you everyone. Mary

[stollies1]

Just Wondering

Hi there Retteacher,
It does get easier as it goes along but I don't think its the drinking we miss so much as the numbness a bottle of vodka can provide.Thats how I get through, knowing that I don't love the taste of straight Vodka as much as I do of creamy vanilla ice cream and that I'm wanting something else from the drink. I, too, use to obsess with other people drinking, now I go to Friday night drinks with work mates with no problems at all.Congratulations on your 67 days thats great going... 90 days..90 years whatever your goal I wish a very good journey...
Love
Victoria xxooxx

ps great to see oldbies dropping in to dole out the sage advice :H

[retteacher]

Just Wondering

Victoria: I absolutely used alcohol to numb out. Now that I'm dealing w/life directly complete w/all the ups & downs it has to offer, I can sometimes see why I drank. I wouldn't go back though...that's for sure. Mary