Hi
I am desperate for some help or for someone to tell me how I can change things.
Ever since I was little my father drank heavily, some of my earliest memories are of rows and drunkenness, and as I grew up I thought that that was just the way life was. My father binge drank 2/3 times a week and when he was sober he was in such a terrible mood we were scared stiff.. But when he was in a good mood he was lovely but this was extremely rare, this pattern continued through all of my life, through extremes of really bad periods to really good times when my father stopped drinking for nearly two years. He is now in bad health and is still binge drinking although he has been better in the last few months and drinking very little, my mother thinks it?s due to antidepressants his doctor has prescribed for him. Although from my years of experience I know how quickly things change and I know not to be fooled, all it takes is one drinking binge for things to go bad again, but for now things are good with my father.
This post is not about my father it?s about my eldest brother, being the eldest my father often took his frustrations out on him and me, and I suppose he felt like I did, that my father hated us for no apparent reason. This led to my mother overcompensating and my brother basically got his own way in everything he did and he didn?t want for anything. My brother started drinking when he was about 19; he was always quiet and didn?t talk much, but im not sure if you would call him shy.
He started going out more and more and getting drunker and drunker. This continued for a few years and by then we knew he had a drink problem. He met a girl when he was 26 and surprisingly they started going out, this caused concern as she was only 17 but I think everyone was relieved that maybe he might finally stop drinking.
She ended up getting pregnant, the drinking didn?t stop and eventually she left him when their little girl was 3.
That was 4 years ago and things have got worse and worse. He drinks every day and is constantly drunk, he drink drives every day even though he has been previously suspended for drink driving.
He has crashed his car twice this year... Luckily it was only minor scrapes and no one else was involved. He has no self respect and wets the bed every night my mother cleans up after him everyday.
He does not eat anymore and has lost so much weight. Now I am worried that he has mental problems as I have heard him talking to himself. Perhaps this is just because he is drunk. I listen to him come home from the pub each night and he shouts and screams swears and argues with himself until he falls asleep. He is so angry and hurt about something? my mother finds him crying all the time, we have all tried to stop him drinking and pleaded with him but he refuses to admit he has a problem although he is in so much debt, and has bills everywhere. He has lost all interest in his little girl, he lives at home and I don?t think that my mother can deal with it; she has begun to say that she wishes she was dead rather than deal with this all over again.
Sometimes I feel so sorry for him and sometimes I hate him so much for putting us through this and for putting his own little girl through what we went through.
Please you can tell me what to do or some steps I can take to make this nightmare end I would be so grateful.
I am desperate for some help or for someone to tell me how I can change things.
Ever since I was little my father drank heavily, some of my earliest memories are of rows and drunkenness, and as I grew up I thought that that was just the way life was. My father binge drank 2/3 times a week and when he was sober he was in such a terrible mood we were scared stiff.. But when he was in a good mood he was lovely but this was extremely rare, this pattern continued through all of my life, through extremes of really bad periods to really good times when my father stopped drinking for nearly two years. He is now in bad health and is still binge drinking although he has been better in the last few months and drinking very little, my mother thinks it?s due to antidepressants his doctor has prescribed for him. Although from my years of experience I know how quickly things change and I know not to be fooled, all it takes is one drinking binge for things to go bad again, but for now things are good with my father.
This post is not about my father it?s about my eldest brother, being the eldest my father often took his frustrations out on him and me, and I suppose he felt like I did, that my father hated us for no apparent reason. This led to my mother overcompensating and my brother basically got his own way in everything he did and he didn?t want for anything. My brother started drinking when he was about 19; he was always quiet and didn?t talk much, but im not sure if you would call him shy.
He started going out more and more and getting drunker and drunker. This continued for a few years and by then we knew he had a drink problem. He met a girl when he was 26 and surprisingly they started going out, this caused concern as she was only 17 but I think everyone was relieved that maybe he might finally stop drinking.
She ended up getting pregnant, the drinking didn?t stop and eventually she left him when their little girl was 3.
That was 4 years ago and things have got worse and worse. He drinks every day and is constantly drunk, he drink drives every day even though he has been previously suspended for drink driving.
He has crashed his car twice this year... Luckily it was only minor scrapes and no one else was involved. He has no self respect and wets the bed every night my mother cleans up after him everyday.
He does not eat anymore and has lost so much weight. Now I am worried that he has mental problems as I have heard him talking to himself. Perhaps this is just because he is drunk. I listen to him come home from the pub each night and he shouts and screams swears and argues with himself until he falls asleep. He is so angry and hurt about something? my mother finds him crying all the time, we have all tried to stop him drinking and pleaded with him but he refuses to admit he has a problem although he is in so much debt, and has bills everywhere. He has lost all interest in his little girl, he lives at home and I don?t think that my mother can deal with it; she has begun to say that she wishes she was dead rather than deal with this all over again.
Sometimes I feel so sorry for him and sometimes I hate him so much for putting us through this and for putting his own little girl through what we went through.
Please you can tell me what to do or some steps I can take to make this nightmare end I would be so grateful.
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