Just had a big argument

[Phoenix74]

Help guys I'm fuming and shaking for a vodka and diet coke
I just had a bust up with my husband, my first since I went Af last Saturday morning
He's giving me a hard time bout smoking in the kitchen. Normally i have windows open so that the smoke blows out thru one of them but it's absolutely freezing outside and the kitten was following me round and i had to close the windows cos she keeps jumping up and out the window.
He says he doesn't want to get cancer and it's not fair on him. He's in the sitting room watching more sports for a change but he reckons the smoke will have travelled up the stairs into the bedroom by the time he's ready to go to bed.
I tried talking calmly bout it didn't work.
He was all supportive when i told him i thought i did have a problem.
As usual i'm sorry i confided in him cos he's just thrown it in my face that i look like i'm dying for a drink and i'm glued to a computer cos i'm mad for the drink

[Preciouspinot]

Just had a big argument

Calm down and take a breath Phoenix. When I first went AF I was very irritable and had a very short fuse with hubby and kids. Do something to distract yourself and try and switch gears. Sory, I can't be more help but, just know it's something a lot of us have been through. :h

[lushy]

Just had a big argument

Can you get out and go for a walk to clear your head? Do whatever you can to avoid that drink. When you calm down maybe you can talk to your husband about how you cannot have your drinking thrown back in your face. Hope it passes.....

[Guest]

Just had a big argument

Oh, it`s a hard one Pheonix, but we have to learn to deal with all that life throws at us, good and bad, without running for the booze. Don`t let anyone upset you to such an extent..........noone and nothing is worth drinking over.

Thinking of you,

Starlight Impress x

[Cinders]

Just had a big argument

Phoenix,

I smoke, too. sigh. Bad thing!!

My husband does not smoke. Good thing!!

I smoke outside, yes even in the cold. It really cuts down my smoking in January!!

House smells better.

Hubby doesn't gripe.

Cindi

[Cinders]

Just had a big argument

Phoenix,

I know you probably didn't want to hear that.. Sorry.

Cindi

[sammys]

Just had a big argument

I thought I would cheer you up with what I heard on TV the other day. Women can do anything men can do better except something stupid!!!

Hope that made you laugh a little!!!
Samms

[trixietrack]

Just had a big argument

Can you explain to him that you are dealing with the symptoms of going AF. you are irritable etc.
If you could smoke outside that would be great. cigarette smoke is really rough on non smokers, it's just not the time to bother you about it considering you are working quite hard at staying away from drinking.
Stay strong and don't take that drink

Trix

[Robert Smith]

Just had a big argument

I would agree with hubby on this one, second hand smoke is almost as smoking
yourself. I have on little pipe tobacco mini cigar a day, late in the evening and I
go to my detached garage to have it so noone else is exposed .

I'd also agree that you are probably irratible being your first few days AF so you
might want to go for a good brisk walk for an hour or so . If you go hard enough
you will get a good endorphine rush and feel on top of the world by the time you return.
If there's one habit I promote and that is fitness, to excess if necessary . Most evenings
I'll do a a couple of hours of fitness and it keeps me busy, away from the booze and gives me a great high . Assuming you are not active that is .

Good luck and way to go being AF this long!!

Robert

[Finding My Self]

Just had a big argument

Hi Phoenix - ouch! All I can echo is that I had a fuse about minus a mile long for the first couple of weeks too. I didn't think I did until I looked back on it. Cringe! Like PMT gone ballistic.

But it passes - the thing is that I was soooooooooh sensitive without my 'buffer' (which was a totally useless sort of buffer anyway!) that a mere look was something to do with my drinking.... I don't know if it was or not (so am not denying the fact that your feeling that!) but it began to calm down and I began to trust myself and believe in myself so didn't worry what anyone else might have been thinking.

Hope it settles soon - keep busy and remember how great you're doing. THAT's what matters just now.

Love FMF xx

[Suzanna]

Just had a big argument

Phoenix, I am sorry, I know it is hard not to be sensitive to criticism especially when you are trying so hard. Unfortunately I am a former smoker and you know how bad we can be about it!! Notorious!!! Keep the strength, but perhaps give him the smoking outside compromise. Kitty probably won't go with you. Suz

[lucky 2.0]

Just had a big argument

how can a smoker be married to a non-smoker and vice versa? seems like a huge issue to me.

be well-

[Cinders]

Just had a big argument

Lucky,

That is a tough one. We have fought about my smoking more than anything else, ever.

He hates it.

I smoke only outside and never let it blow near him.

He doesn't want me to die from it, though. He worries I will leave him early.

Cindi

[nancy]

Just had a big argument

as the consensus of this thread seems to be that he is right to oppose you smoking inside. but you are understandably very on edge because of the no drinking thing.

i think this will pass.

for now the solution is that you are going to be a bit irrational at times and maybe short-tempered

[bootcampbarbie]

Just had a big argument

well, look who posted???? sponge bob. hey spongey. good to see you. i'm going to say hate the smoking in house thing. so if i need to have a puff to calm the nerves i go outside no matter rain or shine or freezing cold wherever i am. it will certainly make you smoke fast. and, i agree about the irritability. you know i call it s.u.m.s disease. sudden ugly mood swings and make sure i'm not carrying a bat. ahahahahalol .okay you probably don't want to laugh but i was so i thought i'd cheer you on as well.