I fell, and I fell HARD!

[JMT]

Ya'll I was doing so good. Then WHAM all my family B.S. came up and I snapped! I took my butt to a hotel bought a 12 pack of beer and sat in a room by myself and cried my eyes out holding the bible and praying with everything I had for all my pain to just go away. I drank all the beer and felt AWFUL!!
But I ran, I ran from my beloved husband, daughter, the last people I wanted to leave. But I just had to get away from my home because I want nothing to do with my family (Mom, sister, MIL ETC) anymore, when the phone rings I cringe. They ARE my triggers and I know it. It is why I didn't have contact with them while I was pregnant because my mother got into one of her moods after drinking, told me off so bad I almost miscarried and ended up in the hospital for a week becuase I was so distraught. Yep, I have a LOVELY family!
Anyway, I'm sorry to go on, but all I could hear in my head was AA and the bull they fed me about how they are there and they care...they made me WORSE! So, I'm trying to put my game face on today, get BACK to square one. I did get the MWO book Saturday which I think is a blessing, I need any help I can get. I see my therapist tomorrow and I know what she is going to tell me, just like she did before, my family is TOXIC and I need to cut ties with them.

[Guest]

I fell, and I fell HARD!

Blimey cuddles.......I really feel for you.
We`ve all got our problems and part of this process is learning to handle whatever befalls us in life whilst remaining sober.
Personally, I have developed a particularly "hard" attitude towards my triggers now........I just tell myself that no amount of bastards upsetting me is going to cause me to drink..........strong words perhaps........reflective of the strong attitude we must maintain every single second to ensure we continue to beat the booze.

Sending you love and renewed strength,

Starlight Impress x

[hart]

I fell, and I fell HARD!

(((Cuddles)))

I'm sorry hon. Actually not a bad thing to go to a hotel. At least ur family didn't see ur pain. I'm going AF today too, come join me, and if necessary I'll shoot ur MIL for u. Not ur blood relatives 'cause that's bad karma for u......

[gabby]

I fell, and I fell HARD!

Whoa boy.....I've done exactly that very thing. (what kinda beer? Kiddin) Glad it was a while ago. (Thanks to MWO) I feel for ya sweetie pie. And I'm with hart. Shoot the MIL. (OMG....hart, what are we sayin? We are supposed to be better influences on the newbies!)

[Finding My Self]

I fell, and I fell HARD!

Oh blimey - Cuddles I am soooh sorry for you. B****y families. I've got a ton of sh*t going on too - wot's going on?!?!?!! Hope the stars move soon from whatever is happening at the mo.....

Hey, up you get..... brush youself down and, as Star says, get back to that place where you can carry on working for the solidarity to not drink on their poo..... It really pee's me off that they say things that cause so much pain and, if like mine, don't ever register that they're being as abusive as hitting you over the head with an axe..... But it's hard to 'cut the ties that bind' it really is.... I can't give you anything except empathy there but we'll keep finding a way...

Come on - there's a few of us here (lots?!) that have this poo going on and we'll be stronger together... Where are you now? Are you back home?

Yea, forget AA...works for some but like everything must depend on each group. We're here and rght behind you.

Right, Mary, Hart and Cuddles...lead us all in the Conga....we're off again upwards and onwards....

Hugs to you -
FMF xx

[betty boop]

I fell, and I fell HARD!

Cuddles, be strong love, make sure that you are doing this for you and not anyone else ..... :h :l :h :l

[Determinator]

I fell, and I fell HARD!

Ditto what the above said, and my quick two cents:

Cuddles, life is sadly unfair...plain and simple. and crappy things will continue to happen to good people. we just have to realize that we are OK anyway inspite the putdowns of an ignorant influence trying to drag us down. Glad you are here. XXX

[JMT]

I fell, and I fell HARD!

Thank you all sooo much! I just got home from taking my daughter to the park, sat in the sunshine, and really just took some deep breathes and thought alot about what I need to do.I was feeling soo good read all of you kind encouraging posts and as I am the phone rings. It was my mother...left a very ugly message, but I know I have to let it go, and just push past it. Gosh, why does it have to be so hard.
I must have been one REALLY bad person in my past life....LOL
Anyway, thank you all again, I should have just come on here Friday night instead of going to a hotel! BIG HUGS and thank you all so much. Here we go again, day 1 AF ! :-)

[Finding My Self]

I fell, and I fell HARD!

Not necessarily Cuddles - Maybe SHE was terrible, has got another chance but is blowing it spectacularily (sp!??!) Hang in there girl - I'm so glad you've had a good afternoon with your daughter. Focus on that and what a great Mum you are.

BTM's to you....(Bums To Mum's (like that)!!!!!!!!!!LOL)

FMF xx

[JMT]

I fell, and I fell HARD!

Finding My Feet;199579 wrote: Not necessarily Cuddles - Maybe SHE was terrible, has got another chance but is blowing it spectacularily (sp!??!) Hang in there girl - I'm so glad you've had a good afternoon with your daughter. Focus on that and what a great Mum you are.

BTM's to you....(Bums To Mum's (like that)!!!!!!!!!!LOL)

FMF xx

:H :H :H : ~~BIG HUGS~~~ I needed that,thank you love!!:h

[Cinders]

I fell, and I fell HARD!

Cuddles,

I can't add much to what you yourself has said and everybody else, except :l .

Cindi

[JMT]

I fell, and I fell HARD!

db2fromala;199584 wrote: Cuddles,

I can't add much to what you yourself has said and everybody else, except :l .

Cindi

OHHH, THANK YOU Cindi !!:l

[memarcie]

I fell, and I fell HARD!

Sorry you had such a rough night Cuddles. Hang in there and jump back into being AF.

:l

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

I fell, and I fell HARD!

Cuddles,

I'm in the same boat. My whole life I've always been embarrassed at how obvious it was to everybody that my Mother despised me. I was an "accident", she should have given me up for adoption but she didn't have the nerve because that would have made her look "bad". Instead she just spent all her time abusing (behind closed doors) and controlling me. My family is f'd up, it's sad. I try not to think about it and I try to have lot's of good friends. I have a blessed life but a broken heart is never the same as an intact heart, ya know?

What I do is keep my family "at arms length"...sort of like "friendly neighbors". I do not share ANY problems or struggles with them and I do not take any advice from them. This has worked very very well for me, but of course, it still hurts.

If you need any help, just PM me.

Hang in there girl, you'll be OK.

Myheart

[jessie]

I fell, and I fell HARD!

Hi Cuddles,
I have also fallen something dreadful, began binging Friday, till I fell asleep ( if you can call a drunken coma sleep) started Saturday morning aand spend most of the day in bed and sleeping. I used wine, beer and tranquilizers. Felt shitty this morning. Got the guilties real bad. I've been strugling real hard for about a year now to beat the demon.
Just don't give up.
Love
Jessie