i'm new, not sure how to proceed

[jaywag]

I've been drinking off and on since I was 16 years old. Partying with friends in high school, college mainly. I got married after college and it slowed way down. My wife and I have tried to have children for 10 years and we've had 7 miscarraiges. I am a salesman and my business as started to go way down and we're under alot of finanacial pressure and I believe my depression as returned.
I started sneaking vodka in with my beer about two years ago. I'm to the point lately where I would open one beer and sip on it all night while sneaking shots of vodka. Recently I got very drunk and passed out on our bed and my wife said she had had enough. She told my whole family how bad it was getting and she sent me to spend several days with them, sort of an "intervention". I'm back home and trying to shake my depression and keep from drinking. One of the reasons I drink is because I'm bored and tried, but I think the more I drink the more tired and disinterested in things I've become.
sound familiar??
please help!!

[jessie]

i'm new, not sure how to proceed

You are at the right place - just reading the posts and the sadness of alcoholism is enough to motivate you.
I'm sure you will make it and you will get a lot of support here.
Good luck
Jessie

[jaywag]

i'm new, not sure how to proceed

thank you

thank you jessie,
I feel i've reached the breaking point that if I don't get this under control i will lose my marriage and maybe my job and that would break me i'm affraid.
:upset:

[Lucy Van Pelt]

i'm new, not sure how to proceed

you have come to a good place! The drink really does lie to us. It seems like our best friend when life is tough. I know, I have so been there! But the truth is, it always makes a bad situation worse ( as you know). And besides, life always seems worse with a hangover anyway. It IS hard to give it up, but not nearly as hard as we convince ourselves...and not as hard as continuing. We drinkers are just notorious for punishing ourselves!

Stick around...read a lot of the posts...you will find yourself is so many of them. Then check out what has helped others here...and if and when you are ready, give not drinking, or moderating, a go.

With love,

Beth

[Guest]

i'm new, not sure how to proceed

Hi jaywag and welcome.

You`re using booze as a form of escapism as so many of us have........the thing is......it doesn`t work.........our problems remain unchanged when we sober up. Drink cannot change a thing.........only you can make the necessary changes.........with loads of help from all of us.

Wishing you love and strength for starting out on your journey,

Starlight Impress x

[Accountable for Me]

i'm new, not sure how to proceed

jaywag, not all is lost. I think you have come to a crossroads now. Before reaching your 'bottom' you have the opportunity to seek out help. You have posted here which is a great start. I would suggest you see your doctor for help with your depression, etc.

Don't let the fear of losing everything keep you in the alcoholic haze. Use the fear to become well.

Welcome to MWO and we hope to see you around. There is a lot of support and love here.

[rapala]

i'm new, not sure how to proceed

Jayway-- Taking the first steps of seeking any kind of help is a step in the right direction. But you need to keep going with little steps. I personally seek the advise of my doctor who has me taking two depression pills. Wellbutrin and Lexapro. ( I think without the depression meds I'd already be a gonner, as far as the depresson goes.) . I also seek counseling since I am lucky enough to have it in our insurance plan. And I read lots of posts..
It took your wife a lot of courage to let you know she wants you to help yourself get better. She must love you very much and knowing that can maybe help you and the two of you get through this...

by the way... ever thought of a career change... maybe you need more of a challenge away from the current business and outside of the house too. you said you went to college, use that education .. beer and alcohol won't start growing a money tree....

[retteacher]

i'm new, not sure how to proceed

Jaywag: The sneaking the vodka into the beer thing sounds familiar to me...I sneaked it into wine. I was becoming progressively worse until I came here to MWO. Keep posting & reading. Check out "newbies in need ODAT." It's a good thread for newcomers. ODAT means one day at a time...which can seem much more manageable than a whole lifetime or even a week. Mary

[gonegator]

i'm new, not sure how to proceed

AH yes, the vodka, which lives in our guest house, where many more repair was done than the main house. I fully understand, you have taken the first step by wanting to stop, or slow down as the case may be. I am a guy too, PM me if you ever want to talk. BTW, this board is great, hard to find the time to post with all the good reading!